FMS Jokes page 53

Can't eat Beef, Mad cow....
Can't eat chicken . bird flu
Can't eat eggs ... Salmonella
Can't eat pork ... fears that bird flu will infect piggies
Can't eat fish ... heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat
Can't eat fruits and veggies ... insecticides and herbicides

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

             M

             M

             M

             M

             M

             M

I believe that leaves only Chocolate!!!!!!!!

AND

Chocolate is a Vegetable

Why?
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.

Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain
milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

And they are also now telling us to take in 3 servings of milk/dairy each day to aid in weight loss.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

Remember - - -

"STRESSED" spelled backward is "DESSERTS"

Fibronyms:

Groan-up: Adult fibromyalgia patient

Paintry: Large cupboard to store all our medicines.

Paing: The sound that our muscles make when we move.

Mack truck: popular vehicle that frequently runs over fibromyalgia
patients while they are asleep.

Painhandlers: A desperate fibromyalgia person searching through-out the
countryside for pain relief.

Paincreas: The gland in fibromyalgia people responsible for manufacturing
and secreting large amounts of substance P.

Painmanship: The way a fibromite writes.

Porcupains: Sharp-spined animal that tap dances on fibromites in their sleep.

Postpainment: Delay between overdoing something and the pain from it.

Refluxedo: Semiformal evening attire worn by fibromites with IBS.

Retroflux: When the stomach makes an abrupt backflip.

Twitchcraft: Art of making all your muscles act up on cue.