FMS Jokes Page 5

Abbott and Costello
Done in the world of today, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's famous Sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT...

ABBOTT:     Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:   Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT:     Mac?
COSTELLO:   No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT:     Your computer?
COSTELLO:   I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT:     Mac?
COSTELLO:   I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT:     What about Windows?
COSTELLO:   Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT:     Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO:   I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT:     Wallpaper.
COSTELLO:   Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT:     Software for Windows?
COSTELLO:   No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT:     Office.
COSTELLO:   Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT:     I just did.
COSTELLO:   You just did what?

ABBOTT:     Recommend something.
COSTELLO:   You recommended something?

ABBOTT:     Yes.
COSTELLO:   For my office?

ABBOTT:     Yes.
COSTELLO:   OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:     Office.
COSTELLO:   Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT:     I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO:   I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT:     Word.
COSTELLO:   What word?

ABBOTT:     Word in Office.
COSTELLO:   The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT:     The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:   Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT:     The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO:   I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers.... OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT:     Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO:   Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business! Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT:     Real One.
COSTELLO:   If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT:     Of course.
COSTELLO:   Great! With what?

ABBOTT:     Real One.
COSTELLO:   OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT:     You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO:   I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT:     The blue "1".
COSTELLO:   Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT:     The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO:   What word?

ABBOTT:     The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:   But there are three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT:     No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO:   It is?

ABBOTT:     Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO:   And that word is real one?

ABBOTT:     Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO:   STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:     Money.
COSTELLO:   That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:     Money.
COSTELLO:   I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT! : It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:   What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT:     Money.
COSTELLO:   Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT:     Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO:   I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT:     One copy.
COSTELLO:   Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:     Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO:   They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT:     Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER...

ABBOTT:     Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:   How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT:     Click on "START"..........