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Fairy
Garden |
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Archways |
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Birds |
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Bird
Stations |
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Backyard
Bird List |
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Main Pond |
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Corner
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Waterfall |
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Bathtub
Pond |
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Angel
Statues |
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St. Francis |
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Variety of Statues |
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Odds &
Ends |
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Wildlife |
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Words
of
Wisdom |
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Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
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New York
City Trip |
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The Horseriding Blonde...
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has
had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse
unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde
begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the
horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to
throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the
side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly
ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail
grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw
herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and
she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her
head is struck against the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments
away from unconsciousness when to her great
fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her
and unplugs the horse.
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The Change
My
sweetheart just turned forty-five,
And I love her, oh, so dearly.
But I’m a little mystified,
Since she’s acting, oh, so queerly.
"Oh,
it’s nothing that you’ve said or done,"
She assures me, ever sweetly.
"My Change Of Life has now begun."
Then, she smiles and winks discreetly.
Smiling
back, I take her hand,
Reassuring and placating.
In truth, I didn’t understand
A thing that she was stating!
Just
what she meant by "Change Of Life"
I didn’t have a clue!?
And when I asked my darling wife
Into a rage she flew!
"Well,
I’m always tired! I’m hot! I’m cold!
I didn’t sleep last night!
I’m fat! I’m ugly! I’m getting old!
My clothes don’t fit me right!
I
think I’d like to KILL you,
And I’d love to run away!
But I know how that would thrill you,
So, for spite, I think I’ll stay!
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My
body’s turned against me,
And I want to SCREAM again!
My hormones have convinced me
That this "Change" is caused by MEN!
Yes,
you just sit there smiling
While I’m going through pure hell!
You think you’re so beguiling?
You think I couldn’t tell?
This
is some cruel joke you play!
It’s all your fault, no doubt!
You never loved me anyway
You selfish, brutish, lout!"
Yes,
my sweetheart just turned forty-five,
And she changes by the hour.
Like Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde
She goes from sweet to sour!
But
I’ve been told, "This is a phase."
They say, "This, too, shall pass."
So, I’ll remember better days,
‘Till they come again…..
AT LAST!!!
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For special company!!
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