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Garden
Tour |
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Totems |
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Fairy
Garden |
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Archways |
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Birds |
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Bird
Stations |
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Backyard
Bird List |
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Flowers |
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Main Pond |
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Corner
Pond |
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Waterfall |
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Bathtub
Pond |
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Angel
Statues |
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St. Francis |
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Variety of Statues |
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Odds &
Ends |
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Wildlife |
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Words
of
Wisdom |
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Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
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New York
City Trip |
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Groaners....
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost
my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll
serve
you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we
don't serve
food in here."
6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this
taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of
Home'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to
look at either.
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at
him" So he picks the dog up
and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says,
"I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks
that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
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Oh Dear......
The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a
dive in a nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming trucks, but
who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the
water.
After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old
ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got
out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He
held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with
relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward
and he wanted to move.
Then one of the ladies said to him, "You know, I have a
special gift, I can read minds."
"Impossible," said the embarrassed man. "You really
know what I think?"
"Yes," the lady replied,
"Right now, you are thinking that the bucket you're holding
has a bottom."...
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