FMS Jokes Page 45

BODY MEETING

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The asshole is usually in charge.

My Grandpa always said:

Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
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Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.
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Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
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When a man marries a woman they become one, but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
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If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.
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Judgin' from the specimens they pick for husbands, it's no wonder that brides often blush.
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On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past, but never the present.
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A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."
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Many girls like to marry a military man -- he can cook, sew, make beds and is in good health and he's already used to takin' orders.
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And last but not least:
Grandpappy and Grandma were discussin' their fiftieth wedding anniversary when she said, "Shall I kill a chicken tonight?"
"Naw", said Grand pappy. "Why blame a bird for somethin' that happened fifty years ago?"

Thought I'd let you know

that I am now in the

   Snapdragon part of my life.

Part of me has lost its snap,

   and the other part is Draggin'!!!!

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