HOME |
|
Garden
Tour |
|
Totems |
|
Fairy
Garden |
|
Archways |
|
Birds |
|
Bird
Stations |
|
Backyard
Bird List |
|
Flowers |
|
Main Pond |
|
Corner
Pond |
|
Waterfall |
|
Bathtub
Pond |
|
Angel
Statues |
|
St. Francis |
|
Variety of Statues |
|
Odds &
Ends |
|
Wildlife |
|
Words
of
Wisdom |
|
Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
|
New York
City Trip |
|
| |
|
I want to thank all of you!
To all my friends and family, Thank you for making me safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy by sending me your dumb chain letters
over the last year.
Because of your concern:
I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under
God" on their cans.
I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
cancer.
I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected
with AIDS.
I no longer check the coin return slot on pay phones because I
could get pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like
a wet dog on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and try to rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
actually Al Quaida in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
our American troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with
calls to Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they
contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I no longer have a cell phone because I don't want brain cancer.
I no longer have any sneakers because I would hate to see all
those poor kids in the sweat shops overseas suffering because I
wanted a pair of Nike shoes.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl
about to die in the hospital for the 1,000,000,000th time.
I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the
$18,624 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated
in their special e-mail program.
I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out
for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now if you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 12,000,000 of your
closest friends in the next 60 seconds a large bird with diarrhea
will crap on your head at exactly 5:00 pm tomorrow!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
Medical terminology
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things
around the house that he
used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now,
Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with
me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied,
"you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term
so I can tell my wife."
|
|
|
|