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Words
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Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
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New York
City Trip |
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Say Something
Positive....
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing
in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror,
and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are
barely above my waist, and my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got
fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her
husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel
better about myself."
He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a
soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with
your eyesight."
Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30 at
St. Anselm's Memorial Chapel.
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Watch out for them Arkansas
Women !
Three men recently married were sitting together bragging about
how they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a woman from Tennessee, and bragged that
he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house
cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that
it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean
house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged
that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the
cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the
first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was
better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes
were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man said he had married an ARKANSAS girl. He
boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals
on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't
see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the
third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a
little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to
eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.
Got to love them ARKANSAS girls especially the real healthy ones !
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