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Memoirs of a Washington, DC
Travel Agent.....
This would be funny if it wasn't so pitiful.. When you read stuff
like this, it is easier to understand why our elected officials
have such a hard time running Government...The following are
actual stories provided by a retiring Washington, D.C.
travel agent of 30+ years:
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on the
airplane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window.
*********************
I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information then he interrupted me with, "I'm not
trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."
Her response...(click).
***************
A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the
middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me.
I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!"
********************
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to
know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20
am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
*************************
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage
belongs to who?" I replied, "No, why do you
ask?"
She stated, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
put a tag on my luggage that said [FAT], and I'm overweight, I
think that is very rude."
After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into
it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the
airport code for Fresno, CA is (FAT) and that the airline was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
******************************
A Senator's aide called in inquiring about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would
it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
Hawaii?"
******************************
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I
asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have
numbers on them."
********************************
A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer
planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said,
"Yeah, whatever!!"
********************************
A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had
to have one of those." I double checked and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have
accepted my American Express!"
*********************************
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent
was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said: "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and I
can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted,
"Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state
of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean
Buffalo, do you? "That's it! I knew it was
a big animal," she
admitted!!!
******************************
Now you know why government is in the shape that it's in.
Don't get upset. You elected them or someone like them!!
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