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Angel
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St. Francis |
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Variety of Statues |
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Odds &
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Wildlife |
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Words
of
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Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
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New York
City Trip |
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Halloween Humor....
Why do some cemeteries have a sign that reads 'One Way - Do Not
Enter' ?
Why do they put locks on cemetery gates?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?
Why is it that we never see ghosts of lower life forms?
Is it true you can make a witch scratch by taking away her 'w'?
Do ghosts drink evaporated milk?
Do witches stay home on weekends or do they go away for a spell?
Do cemeteries have fences around them because people are dying to
get in?
Does a witch tell the time by looking at her witch watch?
If you take the circumference of your jack-o-lantern and divide it
by its diameter wouldn't you get Pumpkin Pi?
Why do ghosts usually appear just before someone screams?
Is the reason why kids sometimes dress up in Mommy's old clothes
for Halloween and not Daddy's because Daddies don't have any old
clothes? Aren't they still wearing them?
Just who is it that models for all those Halloween Masks?
Why aren't there any Halloween carols?
Why is it that nobody ever dresses up as Santa Claus on Halloween?
If skeletons had a beauty contest, would 'no body' win?
Does Dracula keep his wife awake all night because of his coffin?
How come ghosts can walk through walls, but don't fall through the
floor?
Would a dyslexic witch use a magic spell checker?
Why are there always more Twizzlers and Jawbreakers in
trick-or-treat bags than Butterfingers or Kit-Kats?
Why exactly did that witch have an oven in her gingerbread house?
Doesn't gingerbread burn easily? And what does she do when it
rains? Don't you think there are better building materials out
there for her to make her house out of?
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You Have all the equipment....
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern
Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The
wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short
distance, anchors, and starts to read her book. Along comes a game
warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "Isn't it
obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you
up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual
assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.
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