HOME |
|
Garden
Tour |
|
Totems |
|
Fairy
Garden |
|
Archways |
|
Birds |
|
Bird
Stations |
|
Backyard
Bird List |
|
Flowers |
|
Main Pond |
|
Corner
Pond |
|
Waterfall |
|
Bathtub
Pond |
|
Angel
Statues |
|
St. Francis |
|
Variety of Statues |
|
Odds &
Ends |
|
Wildlife |
|
Words
of
Wisdom |
|
Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
|
New York
City Trip |
|
| |
|
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now
I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me
happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses
sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and,
when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto
a
freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when
everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other
people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins
to look like a nail.
|
A flashlight is a case for holding dead
batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmmm?
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it
all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain
whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll
show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like
one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like
chicken?
|
|
|
The
Union Guy:
The union guy
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in
Las Vegas and decided to
check out the local brothels.
When he got
to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union
house?"
"No,"
she replied, "I'm sorry, it isn't."
"Well,
if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The
house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.
Mightily
offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down
the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized
shop.
His search
continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam
responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We
observe all union rules."
"The man
asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls
get?"
"The
girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's
more like it!" the union man said.
He handed the
Madam $100, looked around the room and pointed
to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd
like her," he said.
"I'm
sure you would, sir," said the Madam.
Then she
gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel
here has 67 years seniority and she's next."
|
|
|
|
|
|