ONE OF MY HUSBAND'S colleagues at General Electric was taking Lamaze classes with his wife in preparation for the birth of their baby. The first evening, couples were asked to introduce themselves and state their occupations. A banker, a lawyer and a psychologist spoke up, and our factory-worker friend began to feel intimidated.

Finally his turn came. Rising to his feet, he said, "Hi! I'm Bill."  Looking down at his pregnant wife, he quipped, "I work at GE, and I bring good things to life!"

DOCTORS' ONE-LINERS

* MD used to stand for "Medical Doctor."
Now it stands for "Medicare Documentor."

* A doctor today is a pencil pusher with a prescription pad.

* Doctors keep a lot of people alive and happy... especially those who sell malpractice
insurance.

* If doctors had their way, they'd return to the simpler times of long, long ago... when the
 magazines in their offices were new.

* There are two places where you'll never see a clock...in Las Vegas casinos and in Doctors' waiting rooms.

* That's one blessing of Alzheimer's disease...you keep forgetting how long you've been waiting in the doctor's waiting room.

* Doctors don't really prolong your life, but when you're stuck in the waiting room, it seems that way.

* A good doctor can add ten years to your life, but eight of those years are spent in his waiting room.