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Some Contain Mature Content!! |
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New York
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Headlines for the year 2035.
Ozone created by electric cars now number one health
hazard.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the
third language.
Spotted Owl Plague threatens northwestern United States crops
and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
Gorge Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
Results of 35 year study indicate that Diet and Exercise is the
key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New Federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,
fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered as
weapons by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
Florida voters still don't know how to use a Voting
Machine.
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