FMS Jokes Page 2A

Quick Fixes....

One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?"

Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room. When she went in at 5 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It read, "My name is Daniel."

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The bank manager noticed the new clerk was not very good at counting money and adding up figures.
"Where did you get your finance education?" he asked.
"Yale," replied the lad.
"And what's your name?" barked the manager.
"Yim Yohnston," he replied.

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Our minister announced that the cost to attend a special church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, " the price will be only $5.50."
From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out, "Do you
really think I'd give you that information for only 50 cents?"

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One may have good eyes and yet see nothing.
-- Italian Proverb

A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life
that when she married
she was to please her husband and never upset him.
So the first morning of
her honeymoon the young Japanese bride
crawled out of bed after making
love, stooped down to pick up her
husband's clothes, and accidentally let
out a big fart.
She looked up and said: "Awe so sorry ... excuse please,
front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud.

Insert you favorite team....

Football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours for the Kansas City Chiefs. One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Coach Dick Vermeil immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to
investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the Chiefs players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.