Evergreen
Gardens

This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the
audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever
had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There is
absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the
guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no
overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers after all and
truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed
home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain
when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
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Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road 
or it would be on the front seat of his car.
he quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and
started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow, she didn't have very good
footing so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. 
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered 
her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to
mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It
was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her
date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that
indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some help"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her
sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as
the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both
agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to
unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down... or
perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first
date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment - - - - "This gives a whole new meaning to being
pissed off. I have always heard that it is better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"Guess it's true!"