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Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!!

New York
City Trip

DID YOU KNOW THAT?

Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost
immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional
"pain relievers."

Did you know that Colgate Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with
mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoid
Peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of Horseradish in a
cup of Olive Oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a
massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore Throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1
tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets
in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer
begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly -- even though
the product was never advertised for this use.

Eliminate puffiness under your eyes..... All you need is a dab of
Preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin, avoiding the eyes. The
hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the swelling
instantly.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and
place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile,
and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus
by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves
your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection.. To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from
loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear Nail Polish to the
threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just
saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The
phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps,
hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the
insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground
instantly.

Smart splinter remover... just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue all over the
splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks
to the dried glue.

Hunt's Tomato Paste boil cure... cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as
a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothes the pain and brings the boil
to a head.

Balm for broken blisters.. To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops
of Listerine.. a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz Vinegar to heal bruises.. Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and
apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and
speeds up the healing process.

Kills fleas instantly. Dawn Dish Washing Liquid does the trick. Add a few
drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly Rinse well to
avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor... Next time your dog comes in from the rain,
simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making
your dog smell springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson Corn Oil in
your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily
for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and
accelerates healing.

Vaseline cure for hair balls..... To prevent troublesome hair balls, apply a
dollop of Vaseline petroleum jelly to your cat's nose. The cat will lick off
the jelly, lubricating any hair in its stomach so it can pass easily through
the digestive system.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief.... It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2
cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave
for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for
soothing relief from arthritis pain.

                                                                  Submitted by....Jane 


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4456 Noel Crescent, Val Therese, Ontario, P3P 1S8
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