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"Fibro'rhyme'algia"
I'm tired of being trapped inside
A body that does not want to move
Yet this body houses my over-active mind
The same mind that tells me I have so much to prove
To prove I want to do for others
All the many things I did before
I have all the same dreams and aspirations
If it is possible...perhaps even more
I want to show the many people I love
I'm not a lazy, loser, without a goal
Yet each time I awaken, in the dark of day's end
I find myself playing that unwanted role
I'm like an actress caught in the worst of parts
Parts I would never pick to play
Anxiously awaiting the last curtain call
When I can bow out, and be on my familiar way
And behaving like the "me" I knew so well
The productive person I used to be
Oh how I long for that gal to return
For all my loved ones and friends to see
I've been thrown into a waiting game
With too much time for self-reflection
As I watch the clock, the hours that are wasted
Provide a challenge not to give in to self-rejection
I am not alone in the pain I endure
Too many others feel all that I feel
We're all tigers, wounded and trapped in the cage
Of our bodies that take too long to heal
Perhaps cheetahs, trapped, would make a better analogy
As they are the fastest creatures alive
They paint a clearer picture of our good ol' days
With our unstoppable determination and drive
I find myself parked in my agony through the nights
Seems like forever rocking to and fro
Trying to cradle my pain away
Watching each today turn into each tomorrow
And tomorrow then turns its cheek, and then
Snubs all my efforts to again be positive
And I give that "FMonster" my very best shot
As I fight to remain remotely cognitive
We've all looked within ourselves ad nauseam
It's time to look for the peace that's around us
There are mountains, and waterfalls, and rainbows to see
And our friends, who, if we're lucky,...still surround us
And if all else fails, and I'm lonely, lost, and hurting
There is a wonderful place I can be
Where support, and friendship, and compassion reside
I just log on, and join the "FMily"
c March 1995
Written with love & compassion, by Shauna Leigh Taylor
[Fibromyalgia, CMP/MPS, Crohn's Disease]
Email...shauna@idirect.com |
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