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Words
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Jokes....
Some Contain Mature Content!! |
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New York
City Trip |
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The candidate on the bumper sticker is
interchangeable.
Retired People
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make
their days interesting. I went to the library the other day. I was
only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a
city cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving
a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the
ticket. I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing
another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse
name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield
with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more
tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the
corner and this one had an "Elect Bush!" bumper sticker
on it.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's
important at our age.
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BUMPER STICKERS
YOU PROBABLY MISSED BECAUSE
YOU WERE DRIVING TOO FAST:
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Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
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If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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Horn Broken.. Watch For Finger.
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The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
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So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
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If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
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Illiterate? Write For Help.
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Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit.
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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
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You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
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Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip
MeBack Over...
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Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70
mph.
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Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like
Jabba The Hut?
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Ax Me About Ebonics.
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Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
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Boldly Going Nowhere.
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Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
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Heart Attacks .. God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
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GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
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AND THE GREATEST BUMPER STICKER EVER : "POLITICIANS &
DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON
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