“How Many Potatoes Are You Carrying Around?”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan
  
   I just finished reading what must be the shortest story in the world. It is a story that was written by M. Stanley Bubien and is entitled, “The Unhappiest Man Who Ever Lived”. Let me share the story with you.

   “Forgive? Never!”
  
   How is that for a powerful story?
  
   Let me tell you the story again.
  
   “Forgive? Never!”

   Yes, these are definitely the words one would expect to be spoken by ‘The Unhappiest Man Who Ever Lived”. Do you know him? Have you ever met him?

   To further illustrate the message of this wonderful story, let me share with you another short passage I came across recently. The author of this story is unknown, but I am sure each of us in our own small way can identify with the moral.

The story is entitled, ‘Are Your Potatoes Heavy?’

   “A college teacher brought a couple of huge sacks of potatoes to class one day. She told her students to think of people they have refused to forgive for whatever it was that they said or did to them. All of the students could think of quite a number of people who had done something to them that was absolutely unforgivable. The teacher then instructed the students to take one potato from the sack for each person for whom they could not forgive and write the name of that person on the potato. Each student then put their potatoes inside a clear plastic bag and were told to carry that bag with them everywhere they went for one full week. They were to put the bag beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work, at the dinner table, etc.

   The students experienced the inconvenience of lugging this bag of potatoes around with them. Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty smelly slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for the emotional baggage we carry around with us when we refuse to forgive others for the pain they have caused during our life’s experiences. The message came across loud and clear to the students who suddenly realized that while we often think of forgiveness as a gift TO the other person, it is actually a gift FOR ourselves to get rid of these nasty feelings that we harbour inside.”

   It is too easy to blame others for our problems. When this becomes a personal habit, we tend to blame others for all of our anger, frustration, depression, stress and unhappiness. If something is missing, someone else must have moved it; if your marriage did not work out, it was your spouse’s fault; if you lose your job, it was your employer who was to blame; and so on.

   Personal happiness and peace cannot be achieved as long as you are blaming others. In order to be at peace with yourself, you must accept responsibility for your own actions as well as for your reactions to others around you. To carry on the hatred is like carrying around a bag of potatoes. Until you forgive the person and get rid of the potato, it will be a burden on your life and will follow you wherever you go. Forgiving the person who has done you wrong is not so much a gift to that person, but a gift to yourself so that you can rid yourself of this heavy burden and not allow it to consume so much of your life. You can apply this philosophy to virtually all situations in which you find yourself unable to forgive another person.

   Blaming others is very stressful and takes a tremendous amount of mental energy. It also leaves you powerless over your own life in that you soon feel that your own happiness is controlled by the actions of others. When you stop blaming others, you will regain control of your personal power and take charge of your own happiness. You will also find that life is much more fun when you stop blaming others and forgive them for what they have done.

   So, next time you think you are so angry that you feel someone has done something to you that can never be forgiven, remember the story about ‘The Unhappiest Man Who Ever Lived’. Get rid of your potatoes and enjoy life.

   Have a good week!