Have
you ever experienced disappointment in your life? Have you ever planned
on enjoying something good only to have your plans go up in smoke? I
suppose it’s only human nature to complain about how rough life is.
After all, we never have enough money, or time, or opportunity to do
everything we want. And so many of us recall times when we had to
suddenly cancel a trip or dinner engagement because of some unforeseen
happening.
I
want to share a story with you today that is about real pain and real
disappointment. It is also a story which shows us that if we spend our
life mourning our losses, or wishing we were somewhere else, we will
miss out on so many of the special things that exist in our own life.
The
story is entitled, “Welcome To Holland”. It is written by Emily Perl
Kingsley. Emily has a child with Down Syndrome and is often asked to
describe the experience of raising a child with a disability. It is
difficult for those of us who have not had a mentally or physically
challenged child to understand how it would feel. When we start a family
we all have great hopes and expectations about how we want our children
to turn out. We look forward to running and jumping and playing with
them and sharing in their successes in life. We never plan on having a
child that is handicapped. You never hear an expectant mother say that
she wants a baby that has health problems. But what happens when
something goes wrong? What does it feel like to see that the baby you
carried for nine months is born with a severe disability? As a father of
three very healthy boys who have grown up to be very healthy young men,
I couldn’t imagine how it would have felt like if one of them had been
handicapped. That is until I read, “Welcome To Holland”. Emily
describes the experience this way...
When
you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation
trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful
plans. The Coliseum; the Michelangelo David; the gondolas in Venice. You
may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After
months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The
stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?”
you say. “What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to
Italy.”
But
there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland
and there you must stay.
The
important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s
just a different place.
So
you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never
have met.
It’s
just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy and less flashy
than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your
breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that Holland has
windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But
everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they’re
all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the
rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed
to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And
the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss
of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But...if
you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy,
you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely
things...about Holland.
Now
I understand. But this message is not just about people who have
children with a disability. It is for anyone who has experienced real
pain in life. It is for anyone who has lost a loved one; experienced a
divorce; been in an accident; is suffering from a life-threatening
disease; had to move away from home; or any number of other major
life-altering events. It is about making new plans and reading new guide
books. It is about letting everyone else talk about their trip to Italy
and taking time to enjoy the windmills and tulips of Holland. For no
matter how much pain you feel, or how bad your situation may seem to you
at times, there are always beautiful, special windmills and tulips in
your world. All you have to do is stop mourning and accept that this is
the way it will be.
Welcome
to Holland.
Have
a good week!