August 1, 2001

Is There Anyone You Want To Thank Today?

Now that we have arrived at the half-way point of the summer vacation period, this may be just the time to do something you quite possibly have been putting off for a long time. Can you think of someone who has done something for you, either recently or over a long period of time, that you haven’t really and truly thanked? What about the person who helped you push your car out of the ditch? What about the person who coached your child this summer or last winter? What about the grocery store clerk who always has time to give you a smile? What about the receptionist who always manages to squeeze in your appointment at the last minute?

We live in such a fast-paced world that special moments often speed by without giving us time to express our real gratitude and appreciation to caring people who have touched our life. The moment passes and we move on to the next thing right away. The act of kindness meant a lot to us at the time, but as time moves on it seems less and less significant, especially to the person who showed us the kindness.

How wrong we are! Just think of the last time that someone thanked you for doing them a small favour. Think about how it made you feel to have someone send you a little note, or phone you, or email you, or give you a special hug and a smile to show their appreciation. Think about how it made you feel when this expression of gratitude came some time after the event. It often means a lot more to receive a thank you after the fact because it shows that the person still thinks about what you did even after the passing of time. Now that you know how good it made you feel to receive a belated "thank you", remember that everyone else feels the same way.

This fact was driven home to me recently when I came across the following story:

A man by the name of William Stidger taught at Boston University. He once reflected upon the great number of un-thanked people in his life. These were people who had helped nurture him, inspire him or who cared enough about him to leave a lasting impression. Once of these people was a school teacher he’d not heard of in many years. But he remembered that she had gone out of her way to put a love of verse in him, and Will had loved poetry all his life. He wrote a letter of thanks to her. The reply he received, written in the feeble scrawl of the aged, began "My Dear Willie:" He was delighted. Now over 50, bald and a professor, he didn’t think there was a person left in the world who would call him "Willie". Here is that letter:

"My Dear Willie,

I cannot tell you how much your note meant to me. I am in my eighties, living alone in a small room, cooking my own meals, lonely, and, like the rest of autumn, lingering behind. You will be interested to know that I taught school for 50 years and yours is the first note of appreciation I ever received. It came on a blue-cold morning and it cheered me as nothing has in many years."

Not prone to cry easily, William Stidger wept over that note. She was one of the great un-thanked people from Will’s past.

We all have people like Will’s school teacher in our life. The teacher who made a difference. The coach we will never forget. The nurse who cared for us after the accident. The best friend we haven’t seen for years. We all remember people who shaped our lives in various ways - some small and some big - but each had an impact on who we are today. After Will Stidger received the reply from his school teacher, he realized that he could no longer leave people un-thanked. He also realized that by thanking these people and showing them that he really did care about what they had done, he in turn may be doing something very significant for them.

So as you are sitting around relaxing for the rest of the summer, spend some time thinking about some of the un-thanked people from your past. It may not be too late to say thank you. You have no idea how much your words will mean.

Have a good week!

 
 

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