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"How
Did You Get Here?”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
December
11, 2007
I swear to God, and with no disrespect intended to any
of my friends and acquaintances, I have never met anyone in my
whole life who is as intellectually stimulating as my 3 and a
half year old granddaughter, Hailee. The things that come out
of her mouth are absolutely incredible and could form the
basis for a university philosophy course.
I am sure that every grandparent feels the exact same
way about their own grandchildren, but it just amazes me that
innocent young children can have such a capacity for making
you dig deep into your own mind to discover the true meaning
of life.
The other
day Hailee and my wife were walking around the Hart Department
Store looking at toys, as usual. After I finished taking care
of some business I had elsewhere in the mall I walked up
silently behind them while they were standing in one of the
aisles. They didn’t see me coming. As Hailee raised her head
she spotted me beside her. She
then looked directly into my eyes without changing the
expression on her face, paused for a moment, and then asked me
a simple question that has been on my mind ever since.
Her question: “How did you get here?”
If she had asked, “Where did you come from?” or
“When did you get here?” or even if she had looked
surprised and laughed while she asked the question, it may not
have had the same effect. But it was the way she looked
straight into my eyes, no expression on her face, paused for a
moment and then delivered the question, “How did you get
here?”
We continued with our visit to the store and walked
around the mall before returning Hailee to her home later on
in the afternoon, but I have been asking myself that question
over and over ever since.
In my entire 57 years of living I have made so many
life-altering decisions that at the time did not seem all that
important, however, had I made a different decision at the
time in ANY one of those situations, I would not have ended up
in that aisle in the store that day, standing beside my
granddaughter and my wife. A simple question: "How did
you get here?"
Perhaps the
question would not have had as much of an impact on me but I
had just watched a movie the night before called “A Magic
Christmas” (at least I think that is the title of the
movie). It was
about a lady who was having difficulties in life and who was
forced through some tragic circumstances to imagine what her
life would be like if she lost her husband and two children.
She was allowed to go back in time during Christmas Eve and
make different choices in a couple of situations that saved
her husband and children from an accidental death.
I will also take time during the holidays to watch my
favourite movie of all time, “It’s A Wonderful Life”
starring James Stewart. It always makes me feel grateful for
the life I am now experiencing by demonstrating that everyone
you have in your life and every good thing that you like about
your life is the sum total of the results of every single
decision you have ever made in the past. One different
decision could have changed EVERYTHING.
And so, as I continue on my own “Journey of Life”,
I take things day-by-day, making countless decisions that will
in their own way each alter the course of my life and in the
lives of the people I meet. I have learned that it is
important to make each decision as wisely as possible, based
on the knowledge you have at the time, and then to move on
without regret. Every previous decision has been part of the
answer to the question, “How did you get here?” And every
choice I make today, the day after today and all of the days
thereafter will form part of the answer the next time I am
asked that question.
And so, Hailee, I can certainly go back over the
decisions I made yesterday, and the yesterdays before that,
and I can definitely trace my steps back in time to determine
the answer to the question, “How Did You Get Here?” What I
can’t understand is “why” I made some of those choices.
I can only be thankful that I made the choices I did, because
I could never imagine myself being anywhere else but beside
you and your Grandma in that store listening to your question,
“How Did You Get Here?”
Have a good
week!
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“Running
in the rain…”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
December
4, 2007
I want to thank my good friend, Cecile Coutu, for
sending me an email recently that contained a little story
that touched my heart so much I decided to share it with all
of my readers this week.
It is about a little girl who was out shopping with her
mother. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red
haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring
outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain
gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to
flow down the spout. Everyone stood there under the awning and
just inside the door of the store waiting for the rain to
subside so that they could dash to their vehicles. Some waited
patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their
hurried day.
The
little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance
everyone was caught in, “Mom let's run through the rain,”
she said.
“What?” Mom asked.
“Let’s
run through the rain!” She repeated.
“No,
honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,” Mom replied.
The
young child waited about another minute and repeated: “Mom,
let's run through the rain.”
“We'll
get soaked if we do,” Mom said.
“No,
we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,” the
young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
“This
morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not
get wet?”
“Don't
you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer,
you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us
through anything!'
The
entire crowd stopped dead silent. You couldn't hear anything
but the rain. Everyone stood silently. No one came or left in
the next few minutes.
Mom
paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Some
mothers would likely laugh it off and scold the little girl
for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But
this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A
time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom
into faith.
“Honey,
you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD
let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,” Mom
said.
Then off
they ran. The other shoppers just stood watching, smiling and
laughing as the mother and her daughter darted past the cars
and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags
over their heads, and yes, they got soaked.
But in the next few minutes the mother and daughter
were followed by other shoppers who screamed and laughed like
children all the way to their cars. They all got wet. Perhaps
they just needed washing.
When I finished reading the story it took me a few
minutes to go on to my next email. My mind began to wander
back to memories of my own children and the times my wife and
I did things with them that at the time seemed downright
silly, but were nonetheless fun. I could see my own grand
daughters pulling at my hand to bring me away from the final
minutes of the football game to their playroom to give me an
imaginary cake that they had just baked in their little
kitchen. Or the time they wanted me to climb onto their new
trampoline with them and I thought, “why
not” as I joined them bouncing around for a few minutes
without caring what others would say about a 57 year old
grandfather up there acting like a kid with these two tiny
girls.
The story reminded me that “circumstances or people
can take away your material possessions, they can take away
your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can
ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to
make time and take the opportunities to make memories
everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every
purpose under heaven.
I don’t expect that we will have much rain for the
next few months, but this winter I plan on taking time to run
through the snow and perhaps maybe even make a “snow
angel” or two just to make some more memories with those two
little girls.
Have a good week!
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“Kids
Know What Really Makes A Person Rich”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
November
27, 2007
In this era of huge lottery winners, multi-millionaire
athletes and entertainers, and corporate billionaires spending
insane amounts on personal luxuries, it is hard for a lot of
us to accept that so many people are still living in poverty
in this country. It is hard for us to accept that thousands of
people must rely upon food banks every week or that there are
people who struggle to survive in “poverty” while on
social assistance or earning minimum wages at part-time jobs.
With all of these fabulously rich people acting as role
models for the younger generation we could hardly be blamed
for expecting that our own children might consider most of us
normal parents as failures in comparison.
Thankfully for us, children tent to have a far better
perspective on wealth than most adults. To illustrate this
point, consider the lesson the young child in the following
story taught his father.
“One day a father of a very wealthy family took his
son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing
his son how poor some people can be. They spent a couple of
days and
nights on the farm of what would be considered a very
poor family.
On their return from the country, the father asked his
son how he liked the trip. The son replied, “It was great,
Dad.”
“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father
asked.
“Oh, yeah,” said the son.
“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the
father.
The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and
they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of
our back yard and they have a creek that has no end. We have
imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at
night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the
whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and
they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants
who serve us, but they serve each other. We buy our food, but
they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect
us; they have friends to protect them.”
With this the boy’s father was speechless.
Then his son added, “Thanks dad for showing me how
poor we are.”
How many times are we as adults guilty of overlooking
all of the good things we have in our life and instead
concentrating on what we don’t have? We’re obviously aware
that one person’s worthless object is another’s prize
possession. Just look at the yard sales in the summer.
Thousands of people go from one yard sale to another finding
treasures that others are willing to part with. Value is all
based on one’s perspective.
The other day my wife and I took one of our
granddaughters to the Hart Department Store. She likes walking
through the aisles looking at all of the toys. On this
occasion, however, she stopped at one of the displays and
spent what seemed to be forever playing with a couple of
little empty boxes that had been left on the shelf. They were
odd shaped and could be inserted into each other. The rest of
the toys didn’t matter to her. She was thrilled to spend
time playing with the empty boxes.
When our granddaughters come over to the house lately
their favourite activity is looking through an empty wrapping
paper roll. It has become their telescope. Another
activity of our oldest is to help her “grandmother”
cooking at the counter by mixing ingredients into a bowl. My
wife keeps a number of these ingredients in containers that
can be used over and over again by this little girl who can
spend an hour mixing at the counter. Her expensive toys remain
in her playroom. She can have her toys any time. Spending time
cooking with Grandma is precious to her.
The father in the story today thought he was rich and
the farmer was poor. Perhaps the farmer felt the same way. As
adults we tend to have different benchmarks to measure
success.
However, when viewed through the eyes of the young boy,
the farmer was the fortunate one - the one with all of the
truly prized possessions - especially the ones that money
cannot buy.
So next time you find yourself wishing you could trade
places with some rich and famous person you see on television
or read about in the magazines, look around you and open your
eyes to the richness of your life, and take note of those
things that their money cannot buy - the things that really
make you wealthy.
Have a good week!
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“The
Pareto Principle”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
November
20, 2007
Some of you are already aware of the “Pareto
Principle”. Others may never have heard of it. Regardless, I
am absolutely positive that everyone has applied the Pareto
Principle many times in their life – including you.
I was first introduced to the “Pareto Principle”
when I was a teenager and began my first summer job with INCO.
Those were the days when there were 20,000 employees and the
company hired over 3000 students to work every summer as
vacation relief. There was no such thing as a summer shut-down
in those days.
Eager to make a good first impression on my shift boss
and co-workers, I remember really digging in to every task I
was given with everything I had. If I had to shovel rocks back
onto a conveyor belt I would go like crazy and work the entire
shift to keep those rocks off the floor. My section was
cleaned to perfection.
One thing I noticed, however, was that the permanent
employees seemed to have a lot of spare time on their hands
than I did.
After working so hard during the first few days I went
over to one of my co-workers and asked him what I was doing
wrong. I explained to him that I seemed to be the only one on
the shift who spent the entire eight hours working so
furiously while most of my colleagues seemed to have plenty of
time to sit around talking or strolling around the building.
That person taught me one of the most important lessons
I have ever learned in my life, and I am certain that he had
never ever heard of the Pareto Principle. The next day he told
me to follow him at the beginning of the shift. I went with
him to the section of the conveyor belt that he was in charge
of keeping clean. I watched him work for about an hour and
then he put his shovel down and said, “There, I’m
finished. Now I’ve got the rest of the shift to relax and
just take care of major spills.”
I stood there dumbfounded. “But look at the floor.
There is still a lot of rock left to be put on the belt.”
He looked at the rock that was left and then said,
“The important thing here is to keep the conveyor belt from
getting jammed up from the rock that is accumulating on the
floor. I’ve cleared away the biggest piles from the trouble
spots. Now I know that the conveyor belt will be good to go
for the rest of the shift. I could spend a lot more time and
energy cleaning up the rest of the rocks and sweeping the
floor to make it perfectly clean, but it wouldn’t make any
difference. All I have to do now is watch the conveyor belt to
make sure that there are no accidents or major spills to jam
it up.”
It was at that moment that I knew what the Pareto
Principle was and I have been using it ever since. It is a way
of thinking that can be applied to just about EVERYTHING in
your life.
Some people refer to the Pareto Principle as the 80/20
Rule. Quite simply, it means that if you look at most jobs or
tasks that you have to perform, you can get 80% of the job
done with 20% of the effort. It is the final 20% of the job
that takes 80% of your time and effort. And in most cases,
that final 20% doesn’t have any effect on the outcome. In
fact, you can get along quite well without the final 20% and
use the time more productively in other areas.
When I began to apply this principle in my own life I
found that I could get 80% of five (5) different jobs done in
the time that it would normally have taken me to get 100% of
one job done. And I discovered that in this world, you can get
along very well with 80% of most things in life.
As a classroom teacher I tried to get that message to
my students. Many of my students were perfectionists who would
spend far too much time trying to get 100% on everything they
did. The trouble was that they might only have time to get one
of five assignments done. They would get 100% on that one
assignment, but get zero (0) on the other four, giving them an
average of 20% and a failing mark. Other students who adopted
the Pareto Principle were able to get 80% on all five
assignments with the same amount of time and effort. They
received an average of 80%. The most successful people in
society today are the ones who can get five jobs done at an
80% satisfaction level.
The next time you have a job to do, see what happens
when you use the Pareto Principle. You too will discover that
in most cases, the final 20% is not worth the effort and
won’t make any difference in the outcome. Your life will
become much less stressful and you will find that you have a
whole lot more time for the things you really enjoy.
Have a good week!
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“Keep
Your Fork,
The
Best Is Yet To Come!”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
November
13, 2007
Each week as I travel around the city meeting different
people from all walks of life I am amazed at how difficult
life has become for most of us.
The good news for all of my younger readers is that
over the years I’ve discovered that no matter how bad the
situation may seem, things do eventually get better. It’s
all a matter of having faith and the courage to keep going
despite the odds against you.
One of the other fascinating things I’ve discovered
is that no matter how good things may have seemed in the past,
or how much I may have enjoyed a certain time in my life, each
new stage I enter as I grow older seems to be better than any
of the ones that I’ve gone through before. I can’t explain
it, but life just seems to get more and more satisfying as you
grow older. It may be that once you realize you don’t have
many years left you tend to appreciate things more.
This week I want to share a story with you that I take
out every now and then when things start to get me down.
The story itself is kind of sad because it is about a
lady who is about to die, but the message may help you get
through some troubling times in your own life. We just have to
remember that “The Best Is Yet To Come”.
The story is called, ‘The Fork’.
“A woman had been diagnosed with a terminal
illness, and had been given three months to live. As she was
getting her things in order, she contacted her pastor and had
him come to visit. He went to her house to discuss certain
aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she
wanted at the service, what scriptures she would like to be
read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. The woman
also requested to be buried with her favourite bible.
Everything was in order, and the pastor was preparing to
leave, when the woman suddenly remembered something important.
“There’s just one more thing,” she said
excitedly.
“What’s that?” came the pastor’s reply.
“This is very important,” she continued. “I want
to be buried with a fork in my right hand.” The pastor
looked at the woman, not knowing quite what to say as she
asked. “That surprises you, doesn’t it?”
“Well, to be honest, I am puzzled by the request,”
said the pastor.
The woman explained, “In all of my years of attending
church socials and potluck dinners, I remember that when the
dishes and the main course were being cleared, someone would
usually lean over and say, ‘keep your fork’. It was my
favourite part, because I knew that something *better* was
coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie.
Something wonderful and with substance! So, I just want people
to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand, and I
want them to wonder: ‘What’s with the fork?’ I want you
to tell them: KEEP YOUR FORK. THE BEST IS YET TO COME.”
The pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he
hugged the woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the
last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew
that the woman had a better grasp of Heaven than he did. She
KNEW that something better was coming.
At her funeral people were walking by the casket and
they saw the pretty dress she was wearing, her favourite Bible
and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the
pastor heard the question “What’s with the fork?” and he
smiled.
During his message, the pastor told the people about
the conversation he had with the woman shortly before she
died. He also told them about the fork and what it symbolized
to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop
thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would
not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.”
So,
from now on, whenever you pick up a fork, no matter how good
or bad your life has been up to now, remember the message from
the wise lady in the story: “the best is yet to come”.
Just keep on going and have faith. Never give up! The Best Is
Yet To Come!
Have a good week.
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“Who’s
Driving Your Bus?”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
November
6, 2007
I have often thought of my own life as a long
journey with no real destination, just a lot of stops where I
have been able to get out and enjoy the experience before
getting back on with the trip.
During the
last few weeks I have been reading some of the works of Phil
Evans, a Motivator, Business Coach, Life Coach and
Inspirational Writer based in
Australia
.
According to Evans, “We should all think about
our own lives as being a journey on a bus, surrounded by a
great variety of people, all with particular positions on our
bus that relate to where they fit into our lives. Some are
right there next to us; some behind us; some in front of us...
but all are important in playing some role in how we are
"positioned" in their lives, and they in ours.”
Now imagine
yourself on your bus going along on the journey and suddenly
you find that the bus is going along out of control as if
being driven by some maniac who has gone mad. Instead of
enjoying the trip, you find yourself in a terrifying
nightmarish situation where you could crash at any moment and
face disaster. If any of you have seen the movie, “Speed”
with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves, you know the kind of
ride to which I refer.
Evans pointed out
that “many people are living-out that nightmare bus-ride
right now. It is as if their life is out of control and they
really don’t know what they can do about it.”
Over the
course of my own life I have come across many people, young
and old, who felt as if they were on that out-of-control bus,
riding along fearing that disaster could strike at any moment.
If you find yourself in one of those situations, it is
critical that you “move to the back seat of the bus for a
while and become the observer of what is really going on,”
explained Evans. “We need to observe who the most
significant people are, and how they are positioned in our
lives. Are they standing over us because they feel superior?
Are they moving forward in their own lives and leaving us
behind? Are they falling behind us because we've chosen
to move forward?”
If you feel
your life’s journey is going out of control the most
important thing for you to do is find the answer to one little
question, “Who’s driving your bus?”
“Is it
someone from your past who has dominated you and what you do,
even though they may not still be present in your life now?
Are they taking you where you want to go? Do you feel like you
would like the bus to stop and let you off?”
If you are
not happy with the person who is driving your bus, then there
is only one thing for you to do, and on this point I agree
wholeheartedly with Evans who gives the following advice.
“From this rear seat of observation, you need to start to
move closer to the driver's seat. It doesn't matter how long
this takes, and it doesn't matter how much you are challenged
by the people who may be trying to block your progress
forward. You have to do this for yourself... starting right
now!”
The message
is crystal clear! If you think of your life as a journey, and
if you imagine yourself on an imaginary life-bus, then your
ultimate goal is to be in the driver’s seat, in control of
where you want to go and how you will get there.
There is
absolutely no question that you will come upon bumpy roads and
detours along the way. Your bus may even break down once in a
while and need some repairs. At every stop along the journey
some new passengers may get off and others will get on, each
playing some role in your life and affecting the rest of your
journey.
There will
be times when you may have to ask people to get off the bus if
they become a negative influence on the other “passengers”
and ultimately on you. As long as you are the driver, you can
determine who you will allow to come on board for the ride. If
someone else is driving, you lose that control.
As you are
driving along there will be times when you won’t be too sure
about what to do or what road to take. If that happens, just
“stop the bus” and park for a while. Think about where you
are now and think about where you want to end up. Then
determine the best route and get on with your journey.
Remember the important thing is that you arrive safe and sound
at your next destination. It doesn’t matter how long it
takes you as long as you enjoy the trip. And always remember
that your next destination will not be your last. It is merely
one more stop on the road of life.
Have a good
week!
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“A
Bowl For Grandpa”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
October
30, 2007
Perhaps one of the most important lessons I ever learned in
life came shortly after my oldest son began Junior
Kindergarten. Up until that time I had spent the previous six
years enjoying the beginning of my career as an elementary
school teacher. As a young teacher I worked diligently with my
pupils and did what I could to help them develop skills in
mathematics, english and the rest of the curriculum. My main
focus was on the academic component of instruction, and while
I am sure I conducted myself in a very professional manner, I
never really paid much attention to the hidden lessons the
children were being exposed to.
During the year my son went through Junior
Kindergarten, I listened intently as he described his days at
school. Both my wife and I were amazed at what he was learning
- not just academically, but about life itself. Nothing that
his teacher did escaped his notice. The way she treated the
children and the values she ‘demonstrated’ during the
normal course of the day had a profound affect on my child. I
am sure the teacher would have been astounded at some of the
things my son was learning from her just by observation of the
way she went about her daily activities. There was nothing
wrong with what she did, but I’m certain that when viewed
through the eyes of a four-year-old, the message received was
not always the one she had intended.
It made me wonder just what kinds of messages all of
the other students in her class were taking home. They were
all making observations based upon their own particular set of
values and point of view.
I then tried to imagine the messages I had been sending
out to my own students during those previous six years. What
were they saying about my own behaviours and attitudes? What
messages were they receiving from the way I was treating them
and their peers.
At that point in my career I was able to identify
the most important principle about teaching. Most of what a
child learns is “caught, not taught”. It matters not so
much what we ‘say’ to our children, but what we ‘do’
in front of them that will remain with them as building blocks
for their future. To demonstrate this concept, let me share
with you a story entitled, “A Bowl For Grandpa”.
A frail old man went to live with his son,
daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s
hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step
faltered. The family ate together at the table.
But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing
sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto
the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the
tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with
the mess.
“We must do something about Grandfather,” said the
son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating,
and food on the floor.”
So the husband and wife set up a small table in
the corner. There Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the
family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or
two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family
glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear
in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple
had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or
spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son
playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child
sweetly, “What are you making?”
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am
making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when
I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were
speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and
gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of
his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some
reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer
when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth
soiled.
Children
are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes observe, their ears
listen, and their minds process every single message they
absorb as they are trying to understand what life is all
about. If they see us patiently provide a happy atmosphere for
family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest
of their lives.
The wise parent realizes that every day the building
blocks are being laid for their child’s future. Let’s be
wise builders.
As you go about your business today, remember that you are
laying the building blocks of your child’s future. Make sure
the foundation is a strong one.
Have a good week!
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“Take
A Long Look At Your Speedometer:
Is
It Worth The Time You Save?”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
October
23, 2007
For as long as I can remember people have been talking
about the need to improve highways in order to make them
safer. The four-laning of Hwy 69 South and the
McCrae
Heights
corridor
both come to mind as places where the highway is usually
blamed whenever there is a serious accident.
In actual
fact, there is no section of road that is unsafe if drivers
would only exercise a level of caution appropriate for the
conditions. I am sure we have all been guilty of having a
heavy foot from time to time and I am sure we have all had our
close calls. I came across the following story which should
make all of us reflect about our driving habits as we head
deeper into fall and winter when road conditions deteriorate
because of weather. If you know anyone who tends to drive a
bit too fast, please share this article with them.
Jack took a long look at his speedometre before slowing
down: 73 in a 50 zone. This was the fourth time in as many
months that he was being pulled over for speeding and he
couldn’t believe his bad luck.
As the
officer stepped out of his car, Jack saw that it was Bob, a
person he knew very well from functions at their church.
“Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this,” said Jack
as he jumped out of his car.
“Hello, Jack,” said Bob with no smile on his face.
“Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my
wife and kids,” added Jack while toeing a pebble on the
pavement. “I’ve seen some long days at the office lately.
I’m afraid I bent the rules a bit - just this once. Diane
said something about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know
what I mean?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I also know that you
have a reputation in our precinct because of the number of
tickets you receive,” explained Bob.
Ouch! This was not going in the right direction thought
Jack who decided it was time to change tactics. “What’d
you clock me at?”
“Seventy-one. Would sit back in your car please?”
directed Bob.
“Now wait a minute here, Bob. I checked as soon as I
saw you. I was barely nudging 65,” the lie seemed to come
easier with every ticket.
“Please, Jack, in the car,” again directed Bob.
Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open
door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. He was in
no rush to open the window. The minutes ticked by. Bob
scribbled away on the pad. Jack wondered why Bob hadn’t
asked for a driver’s license. Whatever the reason, it would
be a month of Sundays before Jack ever talked to this cop at
church again.
A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There
was Bob, a folded paper in hand. Jack rolled down the window a
bare 5 centimetres, just enough room for Bob to pass him the
slip.
Bob returned to his car without a word. Jack watched
his retreat in the mirror. Jack unfolded the sheet of paper.
How much was this one going to cost? Wait a minute. What was
this? Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket. Jack began to
read:
Dear
Jack:
Once
upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when killed by a
car. You guessed it - a speeding driver. A fine and three
months in jail and the man was free. Free to hug his daughters
- all three of them. I only had one, and I’m going to have
to wait until heaven before I can ever hug her again. A
thousand times I’ve tried to forgive that man. A thousand
times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again.
Even now...Pray for me. And be careful. My son is all I have
left.
Signed:
Bob
Jack twisted around in time to see Bob’s car pull
away and head down the road. Jack watched until it
disappeared. It took Jack a full 15 minutes to regain his
composure and then he pulled away and drove slowly home. His
wife and kids were surprised at the hugs they received when he
arrived home that night.
Life is precious. So
starting now, let’s all slow down a bit and make our roads
safer. Next time you are in a hurry, ask yourself if the time
you save is worth a lifetime of lost hugs for some
unsuspecting victim. Ask yourself what it might be like if you
had to live the rest of your life knowing that you were
responsible for taking away a lifetime of hugs from other
people. Slow down. You’ll still get there.
Have a good week!
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“Whatever
You Are Doing In Your Life Right Now Is Exactly What You Are
Supposed To Be Doing”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
October
16, 2007
Anyone
who has followed my editorials over the years is well aware of
the fact that I am one of those persons who believes that
there are no accidents in life; everything happens for a
reason and no matter what your situation, good or bad, “you
are exactly where you are supposed to be”!
I am
convinced that the secret to a happy, satisfying life is to
learn to accept that everything happens for a reason, and that
there is always some good that comes out of everything that
happens to you that would not have happened if your life had
turned out any differently. You may have to read that last
sentence a couple of times, but I hope you understand what I
mean.
For
example, this generation will never forget the tragedy that
took place in
New
York City
on
Sept.
11th, 2001
. The
story I want to share with you today will demonstrate just how
important it is to accept that everything happens for a
reason, and in many cases, it is the little things that will
have the greatest affect on the rest of your life.
On that
fateful day in
New
York
many
companies which were located in the World Trade Centre lost
most of the members of their staff when the planes hit the
twin towers. One of those companies invited the remaining
members of several other companies to share some available
office space nearby until they could reorganize. During a
meeting one morning, the people around the table shared their
stories about why they were still alive. If you are not yet
convinced just how important the little things in your life
mean, consider the following:
The
head of one company was delayed that day because his son had
just started kindergarten and he had to drive him to school
before coming to work.
Another fellow was alive because it was his
turn to bring donuts and so he had stopped to pick up the
treats for the office.
One woman was late because her alarm clock
didn’t go off at the usual time.
One was late because of being stuck on the
highway because of an auto accident.
One of them missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to
take time to change.
One's car wouldn’t start.
One went back inside the house to answer the
phone.
One had a child that was moving more slowly
than usual that morning and didn't get ready as soon as he
should have.
One couldn't get a taxi.
One man had put on a new pair of shoes that
morning and developed a blister on his foot while walking to
work. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
In all of
the cases above, those little annoyances that caused them to
be late for work that morning prevented them from being in the
Twin
Towers
when it collapsed. Those little, unexplained things were what
kept them alive while thousands of others died.
So the next time you are stuck in traffic,
miss your bus, turn back to answer a ringing telephone, have
trouble finding your car keys, or get upset with your child
for moving too slowly in the morning ... and any of the other
little things that annoy you, just take a deep breath and
remember; this is exactly where God wants you to be at that
very moment. There is a reason for the delay and it is going
to change the rest of your life – for the better.
The next
time your morning seems to be going wrong, don't get upset or
frustrated. Just accept it and realize that this is exactly
what is supposed to happen. Just go with the flow. The rest of
the day will unfold as it should, all because of those little
annoyances of the morning.
Have a good
week!
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“What
Are We Doing In This Cage In The Middle of A Zoo”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
October
9, 2007
As a member of the baby boomers I'm
afraid I have to accept responsibility for a lot of what is
wrong with this world today. However, like so many others my
age, we sometimes look at the younger generation and wonder
how they turned out so different from us in many respects.
For
example, I often come across people of my demographic group
who have worked their entire life in jobs that they simply did
not enjoy. They endured the work for the paycheck and for a
comfortable pension because they felt they had a
responsibility to provide for their family. It didn’t matter
whether or not they liked their job; it was just something
they were expected to do. Many of them are now retired and
getting back into part-time work in fields that they love and
wish they would have had the courage to get into when they
were younger.
On the
other hand, I meet a lot of young adults who jump from program
to program in university and college; switch jobs more often
than I switch cars; and seem to be on a never-ending search
for that elusive perfect life. I find myself shaking my head
in amazement at their “courage” and wonder what will
become of them.
I
experienced first-hand what the younger generation is going
through when I retired from my career as a teacher. It was
then that I decided to take the opportunity to get involved in
the field of marketing and public relations. I found that I
was “searching for meaning” at this stage of my life and
I’ve experienced both the highs and lows that come from
taking some wrong turns, some right turns and simply trying to
find my “place in society” now that I have become part of
the “mainstream” alongside the younger career-seekers.
A philosopher once said that if you chase two rabbits,
both will escape. Well, I’ve chased a lot of rabbits during
the last six years and a lot of them have escaped.
Fortunately,
I seem to have arrived at a place where I feel comfortable and
confident. It is where I should be and where I belong. As
usual, if I had just listened to my wife in the first place I
would likely have ended up here much sooner with a lot fewer
headaches, but such is the life of a Gemini. She always told
me that I was a born “teacher” and that I should do
something with my life that involved education, which is where
my passion has always been.
Thus, I now find myself
providing personal tutors and other education-related services
to students, parents, teachers and businesses in the community
and loving every minute of it.
I think the
difference between my generation and the younger generations
of today is best illustrated in the following story about a
conversation that takes place between a baby camel and his
mother.
One day a
baby camel asked his mother, "Why do we have such large
hoofs on our feet?"
She turned
to him. "God made us that way for a very special
reason," and she began her explanation. "The big
hoofs are to keep us from sinking into the sand."
"Oh!
So why do we have long eyelashes?"
"It's
to protect our eyes from the sand."
"Why
the big humps?"
"That
is to store fat and have enough energy to go long distances in
the hot desert!"
"I
see!" The baby camel stretched his neck and looked up at
his mother, "The big hoofs are to keep from sinking into
the sand, the long eyelashes are to keep the sand out of our
eyes, and the humps are to store energy to travel long
distances...then what are we doing in this cage in the middle
of a zoo?"
I think the
baby camel represents young people today. They too must be
asking the same kind of questions. With so much potential and
so many wonderful skills, coupled with the fact that the world
is so full of opportunities…”what are we doing in this
cage?”
Bars come
in all sizes and shapes. Some are physical; others are
emotional or even mental. But none can withstand the force of
determination that breaks them down. The effort is worth it
and the results, simply amazing!
And so, I
tip my hat to the young people who are not going to remain
“caged” when they have so much to experience in the world
today. I also salute the “older” people who have decided
to get out of situations in which they felt “caged and
trapped”.
Life is too short to remain in captivity.
It may be a lot more challenging to live in the “wild” and
it may be more dangerous, but it sure beats staying behind
bars that prevent you from living your life to the fullest.
Have a good
week!
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“The
Day I Decided To Stop Teaching
Reading
,
Writing and Arithmetic”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
October
2, 2007
As I was
going through some of my files the other day I came across a
wrinkled page on which was written a story that had changed my
whole approach to teaching very early in my career. It brought
back a whole lot of memories about former students of mine who
I remember quite well to this day, not because of their
superior academic accomplishments, but rather for their
courage and perseverance once they realized that someone
actually “believed in them”.
I just have to share this story with you and ask that
you pass it on to any parents and teachers you happen to know.
It had a huge impact, not only on my personal philosophy of
teaching, but also on how I treated my own children.
As Mrs. Thompson stood in front of her 5th grade class
on the very first day of school, she told the children an
untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and
said that she loved them all the same. However, that was
impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his
seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and
noticed that he did not play well with the other children,
that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a
bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.
It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually
take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen,
making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the
top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was
required to review each child's past records and she put
Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file,
she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote,
"Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his
work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be
around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an
excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is
troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at
home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death
has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father
doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect
him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is
withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't
have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was
ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students
brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons
and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was
clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a
grocery bag.
Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of
the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when
she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones
missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children's laughter when she
exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and
dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy
Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say,
"Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used
to." After the children left, she cried for at least an
hour.
ON THAT VERY
DAY, SHE QUIT TEACHING
READING
, WRITING AND
ARITHMETIC. INSTEAD SHE BEGAN TO TEACH CHILDREN.
Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As
she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more
she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the
year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the
class and, despite her lie that she would love all the
children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's
pets."
Many years later they met again. By this time Teddy had
gone on to medical school and had become a successful doctor.
They hugged each other for a long while, and Dr.
Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you
Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for
making me feel important and showing me that I could make a
difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back.
She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one
who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know
how to teach until I met you."
During my own 28 years as a
classroom teacher I came across a lot of “Teddy Stoddards”.
My only hope is that they remember me as someone who believed
in them and showed them that they could make a difference.
Have a good
week!
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“This
Would Be Funny If It Wasn’t So Close To The Truth”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
September
25, 2007
Take a few minutes to reflect back upon your life and
think about some of the achievements and accomplishments that
gave you the most satisfaction. Chances are the times that
come to mind are those when you were allowed the freedom to
assume full responsibility for the results of your actions.
Those are most likely the times when you were given a job to
do and allowed the freedom to “do it your way”.
I know in my own life I have always worked best when I
was given a job to do, told the parameters within which I was
to operate, and then permitted to make things happen in my own
way. The times that have caused me the most stress and
produced varying degrees of confrontation with my superiors
were times when I was given the responsibility to do something
and then “told how” to do it by the person in charge.
In my many roles in life, as a father, a teacher, a
business owner or a tutoring agent, I have always, always,
always believed that if I was going to hold someone
accountable for results I couldn’t supervise their methods.
In other words, if I gave someone a task and told them that I
was going to hold them responsible for the results, I had to
at least allow them to do the job THEIR WAY, not mine. I may
not have done the job in the same manner, but as long as they
are not in any danger of hurting themselves or someone else,
then I had to give them all of the help and support they
needed and then demonstrate my confidence in their ability by
GETTING OUT OF THE WAY and letting them do their job. Even if
it meant that they failed, I would at least have demonstrated
that I had faith and confidence in them to let them try it
their way. If they failed, then they could try another way.
Eventually they would get the job done and feel good about
themselves. It may have taken longer, but they were better
sons, students, employees or tutors for the experience.
The problem we have in many areas of society today is
that the LEADERS of business, government and even volunteer
organizations spend far too much time finding fault and
criticizing. It has reached such epidemic proportions that
when I read the following story I couldn’t bring myself to
laugh. Even though it is one of the funniest stories I ever
read, it is SO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH that is just not funny.
This is a
story about two employees of a landscaping company and their
supervisor, Sam. However, it could apply to many management /
employee situations, including perhaps the one in which you
currently find yourself.
“Sam,
a supervisor, was dumbfounded as he watched Bill diligently
dig holes while Chuck, after waiting a short interval, filled
them. When Sam demanded an explanation, Bill was indignant:
"We’ve been doing this job for more than 10 years.
What’s your problem?"
"Are
you telling me that for 10 years you’ve been digging and
filling empty holes?" Sam replied.
"Well,
not exactly," Bill said. "Until a few months ago,
another fellow put a bush in the hole before Chuck filled it.
But he retired and was never replaced."
"Why
didn’t you tell somebody?" Sam sputtered.
"My
gosh," Bill answered. "You’re management. We
figured you knew."
THIS WOULD
BE FUNNY IF IT WASN’T SO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH. Management
styles today are often built upon control, especially when the
positions of responsibility are filled with people who just
don’t have what it takes to lead people. In many situations,
when employees make mistakes, instead of using the occasion as
a learning opportunity, managers often place blame upon the
employees and make them feel inadequate or fearful of losing
their job in order to demonstrate who is in power. Offering
suggestions to a manager like this is useless since they feel
that by accepting advice from employees they are demonstrating
weakness as a leader.
After a few years of this kind of treatment
employees learn to adopt the attitude that in order to protect
themselves from criticism, they will ONLY DO WHAT THEY ARE
TOLD. Hence, you
get people like Bill and Chuck who simply continue doing what
they’ve always done, even if it doesn’t make sense. After
all, they can’t be blamed for anything as long as they are
doing what they were told to do. It’s not their fault if
things go wrong while they are following orders from
management.
We all find ourselves in “management” roles of some
kind during our life. Regardless of the situation, you should
remember that if you give someone a job to do, don’t
supervise their methods. Let them do the job THEIR WAY as long
as they produce the desired results. Give them the support
they need and be there if they ask for advice, but don’t
interfere unless YOU are willing to accept responsibility for
the results.
Have a good week!
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“The
One Thing Everyone Needs In Life”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
September
18, 2007
I learned a long time ago through my involvement with
people in all walks of life…whether it was at work, at
school, at home or in any other part of life, that there is
absolutely one thing everyone and I mean everyone needs in
this world. It doesn’t matter what age you are, or whether
you are a man or woman, girl or boy, nor does it matter what
your status is in society…the one thing we all need is to
feel appreciated.
Mary Kay Ash once wrote, “Everyone has an invisible
sign hanging around their neck saying MAKE ME FEEL
IMPORTANT.”
In my line
of work I meet a lot of people who are in between jobs. Many
were once in pretty decent occupations earning a substantial
income and all indications were that they were successful at
what they did. Most of those people identified one main reason
for leaving their employment – a lack of appreciation and
acknowledgement for their contributions to the company or
organization.
A quotation I read the other day by George Adams got me
thinking about the various directions I have taken in my own
life and career.
Adams
stated,
“There are high spots in all of our lives and most of them
have come about through encouragement from someone else.”
Adams
was
absolutely correct. As I thought back on some of the times in
my life I considered to be “high points” I could clearly
recall that is was encouragement provided by others that gave
me the confidence to move ahead with my dreams. It seems as if
there was always someone there to give me the strength and
courage I needed at just the right time. I wondered what might
have become of me if I hadn’t received that little bit of
encouragement. What if I was left on my own to muster up the
courage? Would I have been able to accomplish all that I have
done in my life?
Dale Carnegie,
the person who became famous for his inspirational books and
programs has empowered people all over the world. He once
said, “Perhaps tomorrow you will forget the kind words you
say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a
lifetime.” When
I read Carnegie’s comment I decided to reflect upon my
activities during the previous few days. Where there moments
during those days when I may have said something that could
possibly have had a life-changing effect on another person
with whom I had come in contact?
I recalled
that the previous morning I had a meeting with a recent
graduate of Teachers’ College to interview her for a
position with my tutoring agency.
We had never met before, yet when our eyes met in the
crowded room at Tim Horton’s I knew right away who she was.
As we sat down to talk I explained to her that out of all of
the people in the room, she was the one who stood out because
she “looked like a teacher”. I said that as a very
positive comment about the “presence” she portrayed and
the way she carried herself. She thanked me and then we went
on with our meeting. But I could tell that my comment meant a
lot to her.
And then there was the young lady a few days earlier
who stopped by my office to register as a tutor. After talking
with her for a while I encouraged her to develop a seminar
presentation that we could offer to schools in the area as
part of a full-day workshop. She was absolutely thrilled with
the prospect of getting involved in a project about which she
was so passionate. I felt good about being able to provide her
with the motivation to proceed with this venture, and then as
she was leaving she turned to me and said four words that have
echoed in my head ever since. She simply said, with a sincere
smile of appreciation, “You are so inspiring!”
Two seemingly uneventful moments in my life: and yet in
those moments one lady who has thus far been unsuccessful in
her search for a chance to begin her career in teaching may
have received the strength and inspiration to carry on
pursuing her dream of one day being in front of a class: just
because I told her that she “looked like a teacher” and
that she has obviously made the right career choice. I wonder
if the other young lady will be inspired by my encouragement
to fuel her passion for teaching natural science and perhaps
spread her knowledge and enthusiasm among many other young
students as a result of our meeting.
All I know for certain is that I will never forget the
tremendous feeling of appreciation I felt when I heard those
four words directed at me.
It clearly
made me aware of the enormous responsibility we all possess.
Each and every one of us has the power to change a life with a
single comment: the chance to encourage and show appreciation
to all other human beings with whom we come into contact.
I leave you
this week with a short passage from John Wesley: “Do all the
good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you
can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To
all the people you can. As long as ever you can.”
Have a good
week.
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“Living
A Life That Matters Is All About Being Nice”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
September
11, 2007
I get to meet a lot of university students who are
studying to become teachers. I also have contact with a number
of university and college graduates who are desperately
searching for a chance to begin a meaningful career. Some of
the people I speak to are actually at the beginning of their
teaching career.
One of the
things that become clearly evident as I get to know these
people is that each of them sincerely wants to make a
difference in the lives of others. They want to “matter”
to others and to do wonderful things with their life. I love
being around such youthful exuberance. Young people have
beautiful dreams and are not afraid of anything. Life is like
a huge Christmas gift that they can open each and every day.
I also get
to talk to a lot of “older” people from my own generation.
Many people who were born as part of the “baby boom”
generation are also desperately searching for meaning in their
life. Indeed, many of us look back on our life and wonder what
it all meant. What have we done to make a difference? What
have we done that “matters” in the whole scheme of things?
Those
questions were on my mind the other day when I read a short
passage about a lady named Marta, who was also searching for
something. She found it while traveling on a bus. Here is her
story.
Marta was a
hard-working single mother. When her minister sermonized about
"living a life that matters," she worried that
working to raise her kids and going to church wasn’t enough.
So while on the bus to work one day she made a list of other
jobs she could do and volunteer work she could try.
Sylvia, an
elderly woman who was on the bus that morning, saw the worry
on Marta’s face and asked what was wrong. Marta explained
her problem. Sylvia said, "Oh my, did your minister
actually say you weren’t doing enough?"
"No,"
Marta said. "But I don’t know how to live ‘a life
that matters’ I want to make a difference in the life of
others."
"You
don’t have to change jobs or do more volunteer work,"
Sylvia consoled her. "It’s enough that you’re a good
mother. But if you want to do more, think about what you can
do while you are doing what you already do. It’s not about
WHAT you do, but HOW you do it."
"You
don’t understand," Marta said. "I sell hamburgers.
How do I make that significant?"
"How
many people do you deal with every day?" Sylvia asked.
"Two
to three hundred."
"Well,
what if you set out to cheer, encourage, teach, or inspire as
many of those people as you could? A compliment, a bit of
advice, a cheerful hello, or a warm smile can start a chain
reaction that lights up lives like an endless string of
Christmas bulbs."
"But
that’s just being nice," Marta protested.
"Right,"
said Sylvia. "Niceness can change lives.”
Marta
looked at the old woman. "What do you do?"
"I was
a housekeeper until I retired," Sylvia said. "Now I
just ride the bus talking to people."
Let me
repeat a section from this story: “If you want to do more,
think about what you can do while you are doing what you
already do.” What a profound philosophy. If you want a
slogan to live by this is it. “THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO
WHILE YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU ALREADY DO”. This is a rule
that EVERYBODY can live by, regardless of what they are doing
with their life.
In
today’s story Sylvia spends her day riding the bus talking
to people just like Marta. All Sylvia is doing is being nice,
but as she said, “Niceness can change lives.”
And so, no
matter where you are in your life right now, you CAN make a
huge difference and you CAN live a life that matters, simply
by “thinking about what you can do while you are doing what
you already do.” Just by being nice to other people, you can
change their whole approach and outlook on life: just by being
nice.
Don’t
forget, “It’s not about what you do, but how you do
it." that will make you stand out from others and will
allow you the satisfaction of knowing that you did indeed live
a life that matters.
Have a good
week!
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“Make
the Most Of Your True Talents And Keep Your Dreams Alive ”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
September 4,, 2007
We all want to be good at what we do. Whether we are
engaged in sporting activities, work related tasks or
recreational hobbies, we all have this intense desire to do
well.
Unfortunately, we soon come to realize that it is a
cruel fact of life that there is no way we can be good at
everything. Some people are natural athletes - others
couldn’t catch a ball if their life depended on it. Some
children are gifted students and come home with straight A’s
every year. Others struggle just to get passing marks.
Today,
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
, is the first day of class for elementary and secondary
school children in the area. As such, I think the following
story about Sparky is appropriate and should be shared with
your children.
“Sparky didn’t have much going for him. He failed
every subject in the 8th grade and in high school
he flunked Latin, algebra, english and physics. He made the
golf team, but promptly lost the only important match of the
season, then lost the consolation match. He was awkward
socially - more shy than disliked. He never once asked a girl
to go out on a date in high school.
One thing, however, was important to Sparky - drawing!
He was proud of his artwork even though no one else
appreciated it. He submitted cartoons to the editors of his
high school yearbook, but they were turned down. Even so,
Sparky aspired to be an artist. After high school, he sent
samples of his artwork to the Walt Disney Studios. Again, he
was turned down.
Still, Sparky didn’t quit packing his suitcase! He
decided to write his own autobiography in cartoons. The
character he created became famous worldwide - the subject not
only of cartoon strips but countless books, television shows,
and licensing opportunities. Sparky, you see, was Charles
Shulz, creator of “Peanuts” comic strip. Like his
character, Charlie Brown, Shulz may not have been able to do
many things, but he made the most of what he could do.”
And so, as we embark on yet another school year, we are
reminded that our job as parents and teachers is to provide
children with experiences and opportunities that will develop
their natural talents and skills to the fullest. We must help
them find what they do best, and once that discovery is made,
we must facilitate the development of those particular skills.
While it is always a admirable to help children strengthen
their weaknesses, we should never forget that it is impossible
for a child to grow up to become an adult who is “good” at
everything.
The good athlete should be encouraged to train and
develop his/her athletic skills and to explore careers that
will utilize those skills. The person who has a passion for
reading should be given every opportunity to read and fuel
that passion. The talented artist should be allowed the
freedom to be creative and excel in that field.
The biggest
challenge facing the education system today stems from the
fact that we are constantly facing pressure to have a child
achieve “straight A’s” in every subject on the report
card. A child who achieves A’s in
Reading
and Writing and C’s in Mathematics causes great concern for
his parents and teachers. He is often given extra help and
homework to bring up his math mark and although he may improve
his mark in math to B, he may have had to take time away from
Reading
and Writing, seeing those marks drop down to a B.
Our goal as a teachers and parents should be to
encourage the student to excel even more in
Reading
and Writing, aiming for an A+ in those areas. Research has
shown that as one improves his/her areas of strength, the
areas of weakness will also grow. By pushing for an A+ in
Reading
and Writing, there is every likelihood that you will also
bring the Math mark up to a B naturally without having to do
much extra work. The improved “learning skills” developed
in reading and writing will be transferred to other subjects.
So, if you
are one of the few who are good at everything you do, thank
your lucky stars every morning. If, however, you are like most
of us, follow the example of Charles Shulz and make the most
of what you can do. Find your passion and add fuel to it for
the rest of your life. Everything else will follow.
Have
a good week!
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“A
Message To All Teachers: Don’t Forget To Sharpen Your Ax.”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
August
28, 2007
On
Tuesday,
September 4, 2007
,
teachers, principals and support staff will gather in their
schools and classrooms for a Professional Activity Day in
order to prepare for the 2007-2008 school year.
The
following morning, Wednesday, September 5, 2007 those same
educators will greet almost 25,000 local students from as
young as three years of age as these eager minds welcome the
opportunity to continue in their quest to fill their minds
with all sorts of important knowledge about life.
I can
honestly say that during my entire 28 year career as a
teacher, this time of year was always accompanied by
tremendous anxiety on my part, especially as I got older and
realized just how much impact I was having on these
impressionable young people. The thing that frightened me most
was that I never quite knew how my words and actions were
going to be “received” by these boys and girls who were
being placed in my care by parents who trusted my judgement
and hoped that I knew what I was doing to shape the minds of
their offspring. I knew the message I wanted to get out, but I
could never be sure of the message they were taking in.
In the
early years of my career that didn’t bother me as much. I
was passionate about my job. I loved working with children. I
loved everything about the career. I just went forward with
all of the confidence in the world that I would make a
positive difference in the lives of my students and I would
open up their minds to new and wonderful learning
opportunities.
I think I
was a lot like the woodcutter in the following story. It has a
special message for all teachers and parents at this time of
year.
Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for
a job with a lumber company, and he got it. The pay was
really good and so were the work conditions. For that
reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best. His
boss gave him an ax and showed him the area where he was
supposed to work. The first day, the woodcutter brought
18 trees.
"Congratulations,"
the boss said. "Continue what you were doing!"
Very motivated by the boss’ words, the woodcutter
tried harder the next day, but he only could bring 15 trees.
The third
day he tried even harder, but he only could bring 10 trees. Day
after day he was bringing less and less trees.
"I must be losing my strength", the
woodcutter thought.
He went to
the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand
what was going on. "When was the last time you sharpened
your ax?" the boss asked.
"Sharpen?
I had no time to sharpen my ax. I have been too busy trying to
cut trees."
Thankfully I came across that story early in my career
as a teacher. It hit me right between the eyes and had a
profound impact on my philosophy of teaching from that day on.
The story
warned me about getting so caught up in my enthusiasm for
teaching my subject matter and following the curriculum
guidelines that I forget to sharpen my own ax by taking the
time to really get to know my students and their parents. Yes,
I was a university graduate with two degrees. I did well in
school. I had high marks. I had an excellent attitude towards
learning. My family was very supportive and encouraged
learning in every way.
THE
STORY ABOUT THE WOODCUTTER MADE ME REALIZE THAT I WAS VERY
DIFFERENT FROM MOST OF THE CHILDREN IN MY OWN CLASS.
The day
after I first read that story I looked out at the faces of the
boys and girls in my classroom and realized that the majority
of them would never even set foot on the property of a
university campus let alone successfully graduate with a
university degree. For many of my students, education had
become boring and something they were "forced to
do". They did not share my enthusiasm and were not
“receiving” the messages I was sending. My ax was dull. It
needed sharpening.
So if you
find as I did that the harder you work as a teacher, the less
you seem to be getting through to your children, ask yourself
if perhaps it is time to "sharpen your ax" and take
a day or two to get to know your children a little better.
Find out who they are and what is important to each of them in
their life right now. Discover the hidden barriers that are
preventing you from "getting through to them". Get
down to their level and see the world through their eyes. I
found that once I got to know my students, their parents and
their neighbourhood, I was in a much better position to help
them develop personal learning skills that would serve them
well no matter which road life’s journey was destined to
take them.
I wish all
teachers the very best of luck this year. You will make a very
significant difference in the life of each of your students.
Get to know them well. Sharpen your ax.
Have a good
week!
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“Welcome
To
Holland
!
You’ll Be Here For A Long Time So Enjoy Your Stay.”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
August
21, 2007
Have
you ever experienced disappointment in your life? Have you
ever had any of your personal, family or career dreams go up
in smoke?
I suppose it’s only human nature to complain about
how rough life is. After all, we never have enough money, or
time, or opportunity to do everything we want. And so many of
us recall times when we had to suddenly cancel a trip or
dinner engagement because of some unforeseen happening.
I meet a
lot of people from all walks of life because of my involvement
in education. Many of them tell me of how they had big plans
in their life for wonderful careers, huge homes and plenty of
fame and recognition. Those plans changed because of some
major event that forced them to take on a whole new direction.
I want to share a story with you today which shows us
that if we spend too much time mourning our losses, or wishing
we were somewhere else, we will miss out on so many of the
special things that exist in our own life, even if it is not
quite the life we had planned and dreamed about.
This is an adaptation of a story is entitled,
“Welcome To
Holland
”. It
was written by Emily Perl Kingsley, who was describing what it
was like when she gave birth to a daughter with Down Syndrome.
The message will touch the heart of everyone who remembers
dreaming of a life that is much different from the one in
which they are living.
When
you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous
vacation trip to
Italy
. You
buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The
Coliseum; the Michelangelo; David; the gondolas in
Venice
; and
more. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s
all very exciting as you plan for this wonderful trip that
will change your life forever.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally
arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours
later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says,
“Welcome to
Holland
.”
“
Holland
?!?”
you say. “What do you mean
Holland
? I
signed up for
Italy
! I’m
supposed to be in
Italy
. All
my life I’ve dreamed of going to
Italy
.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan.
They’ve landed in
Holland
and
there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to
a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence,
famine and disease. It’s just a different place. It’s just
not where you had expected to land.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you
must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new
group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than
Italy
and
less flashy than
Italy
. But
after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your
breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that
Holland
has
windmills...and
Holland
has
tulips.
Holland
even
has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from
Italy
...and
they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had
there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes,
that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had
planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go
away...because the loss of that dream is a very, very
significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you
didn’t get to
Italy
, you
may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely
things...about
Holland
.
Emily dreamed all her life about becoming a mother with
a normal child and doing all of the things that mothers do
with their daughter. But that’s not what happened and she
learned to accept this change and enjoy everything about her
new arrival. She was still a mother and this was still her
daughter, only it was different.
This story
is not just about people who have children with a disability.
It is for anyone who has experienced real pain in life. It is
for anyone who has lost a loved one; experienced a divorce;
been in an accident; is suffering from a life-threatening
disease; had to move away from home; or any number of other
major life-altering events. It is about making new plans and
reading new guide books. It is about letting everyone else
talk about their trip to
Italy
while you
are taking time to enjoy the windmills and tulips of
Holland
.
For no matter how much pain you feel, or how bad your
situation may seem to you at times, there are always
beautiful, special windmills and tulips in your world. All you
have to do is stop mourning and accept that this is the way it
will be.
Welcome to
Holland
! You’ll
be here for a long time so enjoy your stay.
Have a good week!
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You
Cannot Discover New Land Unless You Have The Courage To Lose
Sight of The Shore
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
August
14, 2007
One of my favourite authors is Tom Peters. He wrote the
following observation, “I’ve spent a good part of my life
studying economic successes and failures…above all, I’ve
learned that everything takes a back seat to innovation.”
Unfortunately,
most of our busy lives are so focused on solving day-to-day
problems that we seldom have any time to even consider
opportunities which may lay right on our doorstep. Sadly, many
of the people currently occupying leadership roles in business
and government spend so much of their time trying to maintain
control that they actually discourage employees and colleagues
from “thinking outside the box”. It doesn’t take long
for young, ambitious persons starting out in a new career to
learn that if they want to keep their job, they better do what
they are told and put a lid on things such as innovation,
risk-taking and creativity.
I came
across a great story recently called, Paper Airplane. It was
written by a man named Michael McMillan. The story is about a
Grade six teacher who spent an entire week teaching her class
about aerodynamics. To finish off the unit she organized a
paper airplane contest. Each student was given a sheet of
construction paper and 15 minutes to build the “winning”
plane that would fly the furthest and win a prize.
The
students went to work immediately, carefully folding their
paper, hoping to create the perfect plane that would travel
farther than all of the others. Before long, everyone was
ready to go outside to start the contest. Everyone that is,
except for Jeff. He was a unique child and was known for
traveling to a “different drummer” if you know what I
mean. He usually had his own view of life that was not always
the same as the others in the class. Jeff hadn’t made even
one fold in his paper. He just sat there staring out the
window – thinking.
To give him
more time, the teacher told Jeff he could go last. As the
contest went on there were some very interesting results. Some
of the planes barely flew two meters while others did
surprisingly well. As the students in the class each stepped
forward to test their creations, Jeff stood there at the back
of the line, still holding on to that piece of construction
paper.
Before
long, Jeff was the only remaining contestant. With great
anticipation, the class watched as Jeff approached with his
“craft” well hidden behind his back. Then he stepped to
the line and exposed his masterpiece…a flat sheet of paper.
But just as the class began to snicker, Jeff confidently
wadded up the piece of paper into a tight ball, and then drew
his hand back and threw it higher and farther than the leading
plane had landed.
The rest of
the class stood there in amazement. The silence was broken
when the teacher began to clap her hands and stepped forward
to present Jeff with the first-place prize. The rest of the
students then joined in applause and cheered the champion.
Jeff
demonstrated a new way of interpreting a problem. More
importantly, he had the courage to act on his vision.
I’ve met
a lot of people in my life like Jeff. Most of them, however,
have grown tired of trying to “fight the system” and
eventually settled down into a relatively secure life of
compliance and conformity. They learned early that “rocking
the boat” and “making waves” makes most other people
uncomfortable. Your life is a lot less stressful if you just
“go with the flow” and do what you are told.
Others have
gone on to “think outside the box” and have become very
successful through innovations that other people soon came to
like once they got over their initial “fears”.
T.S. Elliot
once said, “Only those who are willing to go too far can
possibly find out how far they can go.”
The next
time you come up with an idea that seems “outside the
box”, have the courage to act on your vision. If you fail,
you fail. At least then you will know how far you can go or at
the very least, what you must do to go further the next time.
T.S. Elliot’s message is true. If you never fail, you never
really know just how far or how successful you could become.
You have to fail in order to know when you’ve gone too far.
Remember,
in order for Christopher Columbus to discover
America
, he had to have the
courage to lose sight of the shore.
Have a good
week!
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“Look To Your Weaknesses To
Discover Your Strengths”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
July
24, 2007
Summer
time provides and excellent opportunity for each of us to slow
down and truly take stock of our life. We can look back to see
what we’ve accomplished along the way and look forward to
determine where we would like to be a year from now. Sometimes,
however, it is wise to ask others for their opinion as well
simply because we often tend to be very hard on our selves and
may not even realize that we have had a positive impact on
others. What we
may see as a weakness may actually be one of our strengths. Take
a look at the following story and you will see what I mean.
A long time ago a water bearer in
India
owned two large pots. Each pot hung on one of the ends of a
pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a
crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always
delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk
from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot
arrived only half full.
For a full
two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only
one and a half pots of water in his master’s house. Of
course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But
the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it
had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to
be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by
the stream.
“I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to
you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed
of?”
“I have
been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my
load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out
all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my
flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get
full value from your efforts,” the pot said sadly.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot,
and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the
master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers
along the path.”
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot
took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on
the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end
of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half
of its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for
its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that
there were flowers on only your side of the path, but not on
the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known
about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower
seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk
back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I
have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my
master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he
would not have this beauty to grace his house.
The message
from this story is that each of us have our own unique flaws.
In a way, we are all cracked pots. However, what we see as
imperfections in ourselves may not be considered as such by
the people who are closest to us. In fact, as I stated
earlier, what we think of as failures on our part may actually
be our strengths as far as others are concerned.
So as you
spend time in a reflective mood this summer, don’t be too
quick to pass judgement on yourself. If you acknowledge your
flaws and your shortcomings, you may discover that they are
the cause of a lot of beauty and happiness that you never even
realized. Look to your weaknesses and you too may discover
your strengths, just like the cracked pot.
Have a good
week!
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“I
Want To Do It Myself”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
July
3, 2007
One day, many years ago, I came upon a cocoon on an old log in
my yard. The cocoon was moving and I could see that a
butterfly was trying to break out of the cocoon to begin its
short, but wonderful life flying among the flowers.
I went up to the cocoon and gently pulled apart
the opening to help the butterfly emerge. It appeared grateful
for the favour as it burst out of the cocoon and onto the log
where it stretched its wings in the sun. And then the saddest
thing happened.
Try as it might, this beautiful butterfly was
unable to fly. It was unable to flap its wings and stumbled in
its attempts to become airborne. Eventually it gave up and
died.
I then realized that my well-intentioned
assistance in helping the butterfly get out of the cocoon
actually caused the death of this beautiful insect. Nature,
you see, created a cocoon that would be difficult to get out
of precisely so that the wings of the butterfly would be
strengthened through the struggle. By the time the butterfly
battled its way out of the cocoon, the wings would be strong
enough to allow the butterfly to fly. By pulling the cocoon
apart, the butterfly was allowed to escape its prison, but
once outside it didn’t have the strength to fly. Had I
simply stood back and watched the butterfly struggle with the
cocoon, the insect would have gone through the natural process
of “growing up” and would have been strong enough to
survive on its own. I was simply in too much of a hurry and
did not allow the butterfly the time it needed to evolve.
Memories of that afternoon watching a beautiful
butterfly die because of my “help” came vividly to mind a
couple of weeks ago during a trip to I made to Toronto with my
granddaughter who just turned three years old. The two of us
were on our way to visit her parents, her little sister,
Hannah, and my wife (Grandma) who had been gone for over a
week. We were all anxious to get together again and as I
pulled out of Mamere and Papere’s driveway in
Chelmsford
,
Hailee and I were both excited about the trip and couldn’t
wait to arrive at our destination.
When we completed the “SEVEN” hour trip to
Toronto
later that day the reunion was absolutely wonderful and I can
sincerely say that I enjoyed every single minute of that long
journey. I also realized that the butterfly emerging from a
cocoon has a lot in common with a young child growing up. Just
as it is with the butterfly, you must allow a child the
opportunity to struggle and evolve, even if it means taking an
extra couple of hours to get to
Toronto
.
Hailee is at that “I want to do it myself”
stage of life. And if you can just get over the “hurry-up
syndrome” we acquire as adults, it is wonderful to witness.
Who knew that the putting a straw into the hole in a juice box
for the very first time could be such an earth-shattering
event? Or being strong enough to actually open the fridge door
for the first time? Or that putting on your own shoes – on
the right feet no less – would be so satisfying?
I will never forget the look on her face the day
she was able to climb into my truck by herself. She finally
stood up on my seat, holding onto the steering wheel and
declared proudly, “I did it!” And when she could actually
put her own seat belt on – what a moment!
Have you ever watched a three-year old struggle
to sip a McDonald’s milkshake through a straw? It is hard
enough for an adult. And yet every time the icy solution
touched her lips you could see the delight in her eyes. I
learned that you can’t hurry a child through a milkshake.
Yes, the trip to
Toronto
took almost seven hours. Her 5th and final “pee
break” came while we were caught in rush hour traffic on the
401. When I heard the dreaded “Grandpa, I have to go pee”
for the third time in five minutes I knew I had no choice but
to pull off on to the busy Allen Road. Soon we found a place
where I could use my truck to shield her from public view and
let her relieve herself in the grass under an overpass. I
can’t wait for the right moment to remind her about what her
grandpa had to do to make sure that she didn’t wet her
pants. I think I will wait until her wedding day. It will be a
good toast to the bride.
We were both extremely happy to finally be
reunited with the rest of our family. But as I pulled into the
parking lot at the end of the journey I also felt a sense of
sadness that the trip was coming to an end. It was a
remarkable journey and definitely a highlight of my life. I
just know that the next time I travel to
Toronto
,
the five hour trip will seem empty without her.
Have a good week!
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Life Is All About Making The Right Choices
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
June
26, 2007
From the time you get up in
the morning until the time you go back to bed in the evening,
your day is nothing more than a series of choices. In fact
each one of us makes hundreds of choices and decisions every
single day.
Some of our
choices produce good results and some of our choices don’t
turn out so well. Sometimes the difference between making
a good choice and a bad choice is simply a matter of luck.
Most of the
time however, making a good choice is a matter of having the
proper information "before" you are in a position
where you have to make that choice.
That brings
me to the topic of my editorial this week. It has been brought
to my attention that some young people in our community have
been making some very “bad choices” lately and as a result
I am asking all of my readers to do me a huge favour. I would
like you to deliver a message to all of the teenagers you know
and also to any young adults you come in contact with during
the summer so that they have this information “before”
they are in a position to make a decision that may haunt them
for the rest of their life.
The
information is this: In Ontario it is illegal to consume
alcohol before the age of 19. It is also illegal for anyone to
supply alcohol to a person who is under the age of 19. That
last sentence is important enough to repeat: It is illegal for
anyone to supply alcohol to a person who is under the age of
19.
I feel it
is my duty to inform readers that an alarming number of
underage boys and girls are being supplied with beer and
liquor by irresponsible adults in this community. Some of
those adults are being approached by teens outside beer and
liquor stores and being asked to buy alcohol for them. While
the act of asking is bad enough in itself, some of these
irresponsible adults are actually complying with the request
and purchasing alcohol for the underage teens. Both parties
are in serious danger of ruining their lives if they are
caught.
Now that summer holidays are upon us, I think it is a
good time for all parents of teenage boys and girls to have a
serious heart-to-heart discussion about the consequences of
being caught and charged with drinking underage. Moreover, I
think it is equally important for adults, young and old, to
understand the consequences of buying and/or supplying alcohol
to minors.
Under the
Liquor License Act, anyone convicted of supplying alcohol to a
minor faces a fine of up to $200,000 and up to one year in
jail, depending on the seriousness of the results. In
addition, if it can be proven that a serious accident occurred
as a direct or indirect result of providing alcohol to a
minor, the adult can also be sued in civil court for damages
and lose “everything” including his or her house, car,
savings, etc.
Police will
be doing their part to charge adults who supply alcohol to
minors. In fact, there are “sting” operations organized
during the summer months to do just that. For example, the
next time you are approached to buy alcohol by an underage
person outside a beer or liquor store, you better say no
without hesitation. That person asking the question may just
be working “under cover” to try to find people who are
willing to make this “very bad decision”. There may also
be someone in an unmarked car watching to see what happens.
An
additional piece of information you might want to relay to
your adult friends is that the police do not have to catch you
in the act. If anyone knows for a fact that you have supplied
an underage person with alcohol, that person can inform the
police and based on their testimony you can be charged with an
offense under the Liquor License Act. You don’t have to be
caught in the act. All you need is a witness who is willing to
prevent this senseless act from ever occurring again.
Remember,
making a good choice is a matter of having the proper
information “before” you are in a position where you have
to make that choice. Now that you have the information, I hope
any of you who might have felt compelled to supply an underage
person with alcohol this summer will reconsider and avoid the
risk of negative consequences which may last for the rest of
your life. It’s just not worth it!
Have a good
week!
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Raising
The Standards Among Our Youth
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
June
19, 2007
I
am sure most of you have noticed an increase in the number of
disturbing stories and articles about young people both here
at home and around the world who are involved in crime,
vandalism and generally what we would consider downright
disrespectful behaviour. While I am not sure if the actual
crime rate among our younger generation is any worse than that
of adults, it seems as if the media is quick to pounce upon
examples of out-of-control youth as a way of attacking our
education and police systems as well as our publicly funded
social services agencies. These incidents also give an
opportunity for politicians to feed the media frenzy by
calling out for stronger enforcement and punishment measures
to deal with youth crime or more funding for public education.
As I prepared to write this column, for example, I read
several feature articles about how our education system has
been forced to lower its standards in order to reduce the
failure and drop-out rates among our students. Teachers in
classrooms today are required to make adjustments to their
programs in order to provide adequate accommodation strategies
for children who have been identified with learning
disabilities, and it seems as if there are more and more
identified students every year. In order to cover the
curriculum many teachers are therefore forced to “teach to a
lower level” than normal so that all of the children have a
chance of understanding and keeping up. What results is a
system where marks are inflated and children expect that they
will get high grades with less actual work effort. On top of
the lowering of the standards in the classroom, teachers
coming into the system today are entering the profession at a
time in the history of education where being a curriculum
expert is nowhere near as important as being an effective
classroom manager and disciplinarian. Unfortunately, classroom
management and discipline falls into the same category as
parenting in our society. For example, once you become a
parent it is generally up to you to learn parenting on your
own from experience. “Here’s your child. Good luck!”
The same can be said about teaching. Once you graduate
from Teachers’ College and are given a class of kids to look
after, you are on your own when it comes to learning how to
manage the group of children effectively in order to help them
learn the concepts in the curriculum. You can always read
books, attend workshops and talk to other teachers, but how
you manage your classroom is pretty much left up to you. Some
do an excellent job of managing a classroom of children and
some have a terrible time keeping control.
Without a doubt, students seem to have the upper hand
today. They are not allowed to fail in most jurisdictions so
teachers lose one of the primary motivational tools they had
in the “old days” – FEAR! Fear of failure; fear of
punishment; fear of authority; and most of all fear of how
their parents would punish them at home for misbehaviour at
school. And so, we conclude that it is becoming increasingly
important for teachers to be true motivators and inspirations
for their students. This is a profession that is under a great
deal of stress today, and it doesn’t look as if things are
going to change much in the next little while.
While we can always look on the dark side, it is
refreshing when we witness students who are “making a
positive difference” in the community and who truly care
about maintaining their own set of high standards.
Confederation Secondary School’s Evolutionary Band comes to
mind as a group of 25 or 30 young students who are simply
“top of the class” in what they have done and what they
have accomplished. Many other individual students have
excelled and risen to the top level of achievement in their
fields. You’ve read about some of them in The Vision Paper.
As a community we have a collective responsibility to
ensure that whenever a young person does something great, it
is a cause for celebration and public recognition. It is
something that we must hold up high as an example for others
to follow.
I have always believed that if you hold the bar up
higher, students will jump over it. All you have to do is give
them the right kind of motivation and give them credit when
they accomplish their goals. We can raise the standards, but
it will take a total community effort. Let’s work together
in this.
Have a good week!
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We’re
Raising Children, Not Flowers.
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
June
12, 2007
Sunday
June 17 is Fathers’ Day. This is the one day of the year
when children usually go out of their way to buy a gift, make
a phone call or do something special with their Father.
For me,
this day has always allowed me to spend time reflecting upon
the tremendous responsibility I took on when I became a
father. My children did not ask to come into this world. They
did not select me as their father. They had no choice in the
matter. They were forced to be my children and now their own
children are forced into being my grandchildren.
That is why
I always consider Fathers’ Day as a special day in the year
when I should be doing something special with my children; a
day when I should be looking for ways to show my appreciation
for what my children have meant to me over the years. It is
also a day when I sometimes look back in time and realize that
I wasn’t always as good a father as I should have been.
Unfortunately,
fathers are not always completely sensitive to the needs of
their children. Most of us would never do anything to
deliberately hurt our children, but sometimes we just don’t
realize how our actions or inactions are being perceived by
our sons and daughters.
For example, take the story of Howard, a man who
thought he was in tune with the times. When his four-year old
son David acquired a taste for “The Three Little Pigs” and
demanded that his father read it to him night after night,
Howard took action. He purchased a child’s easy-to-use tape
recorder and read the story onto tape for him.
The next time David asked for the story to be read,
Howard switched on the recorder. David was fascinated at the
novelty of his father’s voice reading his favorite book from
a ‘machine’. The following night when he asked for “Free
Li’l Pigs”, Howard went a step further. He showed David
how to work the playback on the recorder for himself.
The following evening, when David arrived and pushed
the storybook at him, Howard said, “Now, David, you know how
to turn on the recorder.” He smiled and said sweetly but
insistently, “Yes.” Then he added, “But I can’t sit on
its lap.” Needless to say the tape recorder was placed in
storage after that.
Take another story about a father who once had a job
that required extensive travel. After a long trip, his wife
and four children would meet him at the door with loving hugs
and kisses. After one such joyful homecoming, he was playing
with his youngest child and he asked, “What do you want to
be when you grow up? The child responded without hesitation,
“A pilot.”
“Why a pilot?” the father asked a bit surprised.
His son looked at him and replied, “So I can spend
more time with you.”
Shortly thereafter the father took on a position in his
company that required far less travel.
Every father’s day I always remember one afternoon
when I was raking leaves in the back yard. My three sons were
playing soccer on the grass and then decided to jump on the
piles of leaves that I had worked so hard to rake up. Instead
of scolding them for their actions, I simply watched them
play, reminded about the story of the young father who was
teaching his son how to push a lawn mower. The father turned
away to talk to his wife and his son accidentally pushed the
mower right through the flower bed. When the father began to
yell at his child, his wife reminded him, “Remember, we’re
raising children, not flowers.”
We still have the picture of the boys playing in those
leaves. It is hanging up in the house where I can see it every
day to remind me that I am raising children, not flowers.
In
closing, there are two things that I wish I would have learned
earlier in life, and each year I use this column to pass this
message along to all of the young fathers out there. First, don’t
ever feel that spending time with your children is less
important than anything else you have to do in your life.
Absolutely nothing is more important than spending time, even
if it is just for a few moments with your children. Secondly,
never pass up an opportunity to make your children realize
that you are extremely proud to be their father.
Have
a good week!
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If
You Pick Moss,
Don’t
Expect Blueberry Pie
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
June
5, 2007
I
think I am one of the luckiest people in the world because of
the time I am able to spend with young, vibrant people who are
not afraid to demonstrate their excitement and zest for life.
Personally, I would take a person with passion and enthusiasm
over a person with skills and talent any day of the week. You
can teach and develop skills, but you cannot develop a love of
life and an optimistic attitude. These are character traits
which become the very fabric of a person’s being and which
emerge at all times during work or play. Furthermore they are
traits that everyone is born with and you never lose them.
As a classroom teacher, and now as an Independent
Education and Career Planning Advisor, I come across far too
many children and young adults who are on a road to despair
unless someone can find a way to rekindle the fire inside and
change their attitude towards learning and indeed life itself!
In other words – bring back the zest for life we all see in
children during the first years of their life. Bring that
feeling that everyday is filled with wonderful experiences and
opportunities.
Unfortunately, society is turning out too many children
and young adults who feel as if they are “entitled” to
things without ever having to put much effort or thought into
their work. They are just along for the ride and expect
everyone around them to cater to their every wish and hand
them life on a silver platter.
Whenever I come across anyone – young or old – who
wants to experience all of the good things in life, but are
unwilling to do the work that comes first in order to be in a
position to enjoy those things, I am reminded about the story
of a lazy boy who went with his mother and grandmother on a
blueberry picking hike into the woods.
First of all, the boy made sure he selected the
smallest basket he could find. Then, while the others worked
hard at picking berries, he ran around the area, playing with
the squirrels and chasing butterflies. When it was time to
leave, he panicked and filled his basket mostly with moss and
then topped it off with a thin layer of berries so that it
looked full. His mother and grandmother commended him for his
tremendous effort.
The next morning his mother baked pies and she made a
special saucer-sized pie just for her son. He could hardly
wait for it to cool. Blueberry pie was his favourite! He could
see the plump berries oozing through a slit in the crust, and
his mouth watered in anticipation. However, as he sunk his
fork into the flaky crust, he found mostly….moss!
That day the boy learned a valuable lesson he would
never forget. If you “pick blueberries” you can expect
blueberry pie. But if you pick moss, you can only make moss
pie.
So remember, whether you are in school or at work, if
you have enthusiasm and if you are willing to put in
consistent effort along with passion, you will reap the
rewards. If, on the other hand, you are lazy and prefer to
take short-cuts, you should not expect to achieve the same
results.
And so as our young people approach the conclusion of
another school year it is once again a time of reckoning. The
marks on the report card will give you a pretty good
indication of just how hard you worked this past year. If you
did your best at all times and always approached new tasks
with enthusiasm and excitement, then you should be satisfied
with the results.
However, if you slacked off most of the year; spent
time going out and having fun instead of working harder on
assignments and projects; chose to go to the movies instead of
studying for those exams, you deserve low marks and hopefully
you too will learn a valuable lesson about life.
I would ask all parents to share this story with their
children. Keep a copy some place handy in case you have to
prove your point about the benefits of hard work. Keep
reminding them that in this life, “If you pick moss, don’t
expect blueberry pie!”
Have a good week!
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There
Is Nothing Ordinary About An Ordinary Day
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
May 29, 2007
I think we have all heard the
saying, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the number of moments that take our breath
away." This
cliché is constantly being used by inspirational speakers and
writers to convince us that we should appreciate the truly
remarkable moments in our life and cherish them forever.
Last
weekend I came across an essay written by an unknown author
that made me look at life from a whole different perspective.
The writer contended that our lives are not really measured by
the number of breaths we take or even by the number of moments
that take our breath away, but rather our lives are measured
by what happens during ordinary days. After all, we certainly
have more plain ordinary days than we have special days or
moments that take our breath away.
While we
will always look forward to those beautiful milestones in our
life, such as the birth of a child, a graduation, a wedding, a
birthday or anniversary celebration, they are few and far
between for most of us.
In fact, we spend the vast majority of our time on this
earth living normal, ordinary days which turn quickly into
normal, ordinary years. We simply go about our business of
being parents, spouses, employees and friends and life goes
on.
Therefore if we are going to accurately measure our
life; it is what we do with these ordinary days that will
actually define us. Your life is therefore defined by the sum
of all of your ordinary days. We are who we are because of
those typical days, not the moments that take our breath away
or the number of years we have been alive.
A few days
after reading that essay my wife and I found ourselves looking
after our two grandchildren on a Saturday night. We both enjoy
the time we get to spend with our granddaughters during these
“sleepovers” and our two little angels can’t wait to go
to “Grandma and Grandpa’s”.
It so
happened that on this particular evening our eldest
granddaughter who is almost three years old didn’t want to
go to bed. Try as we might, she just wouldn’t cooperate. So
rather than fighting (fellow grandparents will understand this
unwillingness to fight with grandchildren), we just told her
she could sit quietly on the rocking chair with her head on a
pillow and watch television. The hockey game was on so I am
sure it was absolutely boring for her, but she didn’t mind
because at least she didn’t have to go to bed.
While she
was sitting there, I reached my foot over and began gently
rocking the chair in the hope that she would fall asleep and
we could carry her to bed.
It was at that moment when I flashed back in time and
vividly recalled standing in the hallway at the hospital,
looking into the room at my daughter-in-law moments after she
had delivered her first-born baby. My daughter-in-law will
tell you that she never looked so awful and exhausted, with
her hair a complete mess, but when I saw her holding my first
granddaughter, the two of them were the most beautiful sight I
could ever imagine. I told her that there is nothing in this
world more beautiful than a new mother holding her child.
Now, almost three years later, I looked over at this
wonderful little girl, curled up in the rocking chair, eyes
slowly closing while Grandpa was gently rocking her with his
outstretched toes. I thought about my one year old
granddaughter already asleep in her crib in another room. It
was then that the significance of the essay hit me. This was
just an ordinary day in my life. It was almost
10 p.m.
and our granddaughter was giving us a hard time about going to
bed. But at that very moment, as I gazed upon her innocent
face with her eyes closed I felt the same as I had at the
moment of her birth, looking at her in the arms of her mother.
As ordinary as the day may have seemed, I couldn’t have
imagined myself being happier or more at peace than I was
right then and there. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere
else.
I am truly convinced that the ordinary days of our
lives are the ones that are the most precious. And the older I
get the more I realize that there is nothing ordinary about an
ordinary day. And that is the way life is supposed to be.
Have a good
week!
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It’s
Time For All Graduates To Notice The River
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
May 22, 2007
During
the months of May and June many of the parents, grandparents
and family members reading this article will be attending
graduation ceremonies at elementary, secondary and
post-secondary institutions throughout the region.
As a professional educator in the classroom for 28
years, and now with my own tutoring company, I often find
myself wondering if our education system has adequately
prepared our children for the challenges of life that lay
ahead of our graduates once they enter the real world beyond
school. At times, I have felt a lot like the Master in the
story told by Anthony de Mello.
“As the Master grew old and infirm, the disciples
begged him not to die. The Master said, “If I did not go,
how would you ever see?”
“What is it we fail to see when you are with us?”
they asked.
But the Master would not say.
When the moment of his death was near, they said,
“What is it we will see when you are gone?”
With a twinkle in his eye, the Master said,
“All I did was sit on the riverbank handing out river water.
After I’m gone, I trust you will notice the river.”
Every time I read that story I get a chill running up
and down my spine; for it is true that the best teachers in
the world are those who sit on the “riverbank handing out
river water”.
I am convinced that knowledge is caught, not taught,
thus our role as educators and parents is to provide
leadership and to facilitate experiences which will enable our
children to “notice the river” after they leave us. We
hand out the “river water of knowledge and learning
experiences” in the hopes that our students will be able to
see the whole river when we are no longer part of their lives.
My message this week is for all graduates who are
finished with their formal education.
It is time to ‘notice the river’.
If the years you have been in school were beneficial,
you will indeed notice the river that has grown in size
through the experiences you have encountered in life. As you
go forth to meet new challenges, you may never fully realize
the value of those experiences, but your attitude and
determination to succeed will surely have grown from the water
which was handed out to you in the past by all of your
teachers. While you were a student, you could not possibly
have seen the river, focussing only on the bits of water you
were given at the time. But now as you walk off that stage
with your diploma in hand, you can gaze across the world of
opportunity in front of you and clearly see the river flowing.
You can see that each time you were handed a cup of water,
your personal river grew larger and more splendid.
As you go forward into your new careers, remember the
story about the university graduate who met with his boss on
his first day of work. The graduate went on and on about all
of the things he had taken in school and tried to impress the
boss with what he knew about the job. The boss quietly served
the graduate a cup of coffee and began to pour. He filled the
cup to the brim and then kept pouring. The graduate watched
the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself.
“It’s overfull! No more will go in!” the graduate
blurted.
“You are like this cup,” the boss replied. “How
can you expect to fit in with this company unless you first
empty your cup?”
So I say to all graduates, as you make your journey
through life, pay attention to the new “teachers” along
the way who are there to hand you some more water to add to
your river. Each time your cup is filled with a new
experience, empty it into your personal river, making it even
more spectacular and magnificent. Always be willing to fill
your cup with new water and as you look back upon the river it
will be something you can be proud of. Soon, it will be you
who will be sitting by the riverbank handing out river water,
just like the Master in the story.
Remember, “Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to
one’s awareness of one’s ignorance. When you come to see
you are not as wise today as you thought you were yesterday,
you are wiser today.”
Have a good week!
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We're
all in This Together
Let's Use The Community Circle of Support
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
May 15, 2007
As the world
seems to shrink thanks in large part to the internet and
satellite communication technology which allows us to
effortlessly connect to anyone and everyone on this planet, I
have noticed that it is getting more and more difficult to
feel as if you “belong” to anything.
What I mean is that in the “old days”
which were not that long ago, there was a kind of community
spirit that developed among residents who lived in close
proximity to each other. You walked down the street and you
knew everyone you met. You felt safe and comfortable knowing
that everyone would be there to help each other in times of
need and truly cared about their neighbours. The rest of the
world seemed far away and we could be content living in our
own “little corner of the world”, away from the craziness
of society.
We seem to have lost a lot of that “community comfort and
security”. Today we know more about the rest of the world
than we know about our own neighbourhood. The rapid
development of communication technology has allowed us to
withdraw from our “own community” and enter whatever other
part of the world we want, simply by turning on the computer
or watching CNN and other satellite television. There is no
longer any need to “belong” to the community in which we
live. Indeed, many multi-national corporations are operating
via the internet out of homes just like the one you are living
in right now, right in your own neighbourhood and you have no
idea about the “global community” to which they belong.
Things look the same from the outside as they did years ago,
but something very important is missing.
Let me use
the following story to illustrate the message I want to leave
you with this week.
There once
was a slave named Androcles who escaped from his master and
fled into the forest. As he was wandering about he came upon a
lion lying down moaning and groaning. At first he turned to
run away, but when he noticed that the lion did not chase him,
he turned back and went up to the mighty beast. As Androcles
came near, the lion put out his paw, which was all swollen and
bleeding. When he looked at the paw he saw a huge thorn which
was stuck in it causing all the pain. Androcles pulled out the
thorn and bound up the paw of the lion who was soon able to
rise and lick the hand of Androcles like a dog. The lion then
took Androcles to his cave and every day brought him meat on
which to survive. Shortly afterwards, both Androcles and the
lion were captured and the slave was sentenced to be thrown to
the lion which had been kept without food for several days.
The Emperor and his people came to see the spectacle.
Androcles was led out into the middle of the arena. Soon the
lion was released from his den and rushed bounding and roaring
towards his victim. But as soon as the lion came near to
Androcles, he recognized his friend and fawned upon him,
licking his hands like a friendly dog. When the Emperor was
told the whole story, Androcles was set free and the lion let
loose to return to his native forest.
This
story holds a great deal of significance for the people living
in
Valley East
today.
Our community should be all about businesses and
residents living in harmony in a circle of support. The
businesses of
Valley East
exist to provide goods and
services to the families who live in this community.
Consumers who shop locally help keep the businesses viable and
healthy by increasing their sales. As businesses
increase their sales, it enables them to expand, put more
people to work and contribute back to the community through
sponsorships, donations and other forms of support.
By reaching
out to help each other; in other words with residents who are
willing to support local businesses and with businesses who
are willing to provide local residents with good value for the
goods and services purchased, we will all benefit from the
power of this Community Circle of Support and move forward
into a brighter future with confidence that we are all in this
together.
I
am therefore asking all businesses to make a sincere effort to
increase the level of awareness among local residents of the
goods and services you have available. I ask all resident to
please consider those goods and services before you make
purchases elsewhere. Soon, we may rediscover the “feeling
that we belong” to this great community of
Valley East
.
Have a good
week!
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Look
For
Creative
Ways
Of Making People You Meet Feel Special
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
May 8, 2007
It is awfully difficult these days to find anything
positive to say about going to the gas station to fill up on
overpriced gasoline. Nevertheless, the other day a young man
named Ryan McFadden served me at the local Petro
Canada
and he reminded me
that there are people in this world who have a knack for
saying just the right thing to make others feel special.
I stopped in just before lunch to fill up my wife’s
car. Ryan served me, took my $30 and returned with a receipt,
offering me a polite, “Have a nice day.”
After lunch, I returned with my truck and pulled up to
the pump. Ryan once again came out and greeted me with a
sincere, “Hello. You’re back again.” The fact that he
recognized me out of all of the customers who he had seen that
day and the fact that he remembered me being there in a
different vehicle would have been enough. However, when I gave
him my $50 this time along with the Petro Points card, he
stopped abruptly and said, “You didn’t have this card this
morning. I will put the points from the last purchase on the
card for you.” He even remembered the amount of gas I had
purchased.
Obviously
Ryan is just pumping gas as a job while he decides what to do
with his life. He will continue his education and likely end
up in a very nice career. However, what he did that day
demonstrated that Ryan has a gift for making people feel
special. The fact that he not only remembered and acknowledged
that he had served me earlier in the day, but that he also
remembered that I had not received the Petro Points I had
earned, and then took it upon himself to make sure I was given
those points made the pain of getting “gassed at the
pumps” a whole lot easier to take.
The experience with Ryan reminded me of a story I had
read about a grocery store bagger named Johnny. Johnny had
Down’s Syndrome and decided to do something to make a
difference for the customers he met during the day. Since
Johnny liked quotations, each day he would pick out one that
he liked and he and his father would use the computer to print
off a number of copies. Johnny cut the sayings in little
strips and then signed his name to the back of the little
strips of paper. When he packed the groceries for a customer
he would drop the little strip into the bag and say, “I hope
you enjoy my quote of the day.”
Within a few weeks, the lineups at Johnny’s checkout
were three times as long as the others. Customers would wait
in line just so they could get one of Johnny’s quotes of the
day. In fact, some customers were coming to the grocery store
2 or 3 times a week just to see the smile on Johnny’s face
as he dropped in his favourite quote.
Eventually
the practice caught on and the lady in the floral department
began cutting off broken flowers and pinning them on elderly
women; the guy in the meat department was putting his
favourite Snoopy stickers on the packages and talking to his
customers; everyone was finding creative ways to put their
mark on service.
The lesson here is pretty obvious. When it comes to
service, we all have our unique gifts to offer. However we'll
never make the emotional connection with the customer unless
it begins in our heart. What Ryan did that day may have seemed
insignificant, but it certainly left a mark on me. What Johnny
did in the grocery story certainly left a mark on his
customers. It has made me even more committed to doing my part
to making people with whom I come in contact realize that they
too are important to me and that I do care about them a lot.
This week see what you can do to leave your mark on the
people with whom you come into contact.
Have a good week!
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Education
Week Is An Important Week For "Family Managers"
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
May 1, 2007
This is Education Week!
It is one
week during the year that teachers and students devote to
showcasing the accomplishments and achievements of their
school community. There are numerous activities, events, and
open houses lined up to help increase awareness among the
general public of the important place education has in our
world today.
If you are
a parent, you really don’t need to be reminded about the
importance of education. What goes on at school has an impact
on every single facet of family life from the time your
youngest child enters Junior Kindergarten until the day he or
she finally decides that it is time to leave the classroom and
enter the world of work.
Many
parents today don’t realize, however, just how different
things were when they were going through the system. It sure
seemed a whole lot easier to deal with school matters when my
own children were growing up. Homework
was less difficult to understand and I had no trouble helping
my children with their assignments. Most of the time we just
let the school take care of education responsibilities. Come
to think of it, everything about life seemed so much easier to
deal with.
Times are
different today – in everything, not just education. Parents
are no longer just parents: they are “Family Managers”
with responsibilities that include a wide variety of
functions, including the management of the education and
career planning of their children. In other words, today’s
parents MUST take an active role in the education program of
their children. They have no choice and it is imperative that
they fully understand the implications of provincial testing;
IPRC meetings; IEP requirements; special education and
resource support; academic vs applied levels of study in high
school; college vs university vs apprenticeship options;
report cards that have numbers from 1 to 4 instead of percents
and letters; etc.
Many
parents are left in a total state of confusion, making an
attempt to become involved by “helping” with homework
until they recognize that the math being taught in school
today does not look like the math they were taught 20 or 30
years ago. They try as hard as they can to “force” their
children to keep up with assignments and to get high marks but
this often leads to an elevated level of stress in the home
and a negative attitude towards education among the children.
Today’s
parents have no choice! They must accept their role as
“Family Managers” and within that organizational structure
of the family falls the management of Learning and Education
programs for children.
This can
mean measures that include anywhere from home schooling to
private schools and everything in between from regular schools
to special schools to private tutoring. Whatever it takes, it
is your responsibility as the “Family Manager” to make
sure that effective learning takes place for all members of
your “team” – yourself included.
The primary
responsibility for educating your child is no longer the job
of the schools. It is your job as a parent and how you manage
your choice of schools and your understanding of the school
system is critical to your performance as the “Family
Manager”.
Education
Week is a good time to remind ourselves of these
responsibilities. Take some time this week to visit your
child’s school. Talk to the teacher and principal. And
don’t just talk about the weather. Talk about substance and
become better acquainted with the programs. Ask for
explanations. Question policies and philosophies with which
you disagree. Visit web sites and check things out.
Whatever
you do, DON’T DO NOTHING! Your job as a “Family Manager”
is the most important job you will ever have in your life. Be
good at it!
Have a good
week!
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The
Five Most Dangerous Words In The English Language
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
April 24, 2007
The
last time I took my truck in for repairs my mechanic told me
that it was a good thing I came in when I did. He showed me a
part that was just about to break and which would have
resulted in substantial damage to my engine. As I uttered a
sigh of relief, I recalled that for several weeks I had
frequently heard a strange sound coming from the engine, but
each time I had uttered those five most dangerous words in the
English language: MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY.
In this
case it was the engine of my truck – nothing major really
– so what if I had to get a new engine? But I would hate to
count the number of times I have attended the funeral of a
good friend or family member who also uttered those same words
about a lingering pain or uncharacteristic symptom.
I also
recall watching many students in my classes over the years as
they struggled and suffered with learning difficulties that
were the result of stressful events occurring in their family
that parents simply hoped would go away.
Perhaps
there is a situation you face in your own life right now that
you wish would either go away and disappear with a snap of
your fingers or be transformed overnight without any
intervention on your part. Whether that circumstance is a
dissatisfying career, an unrealized dream, a bad marriage, an
injustice you don't want to mention, signs of abuse that you'd
rather not acknowledge, or a mile high stack of unopened mail
- one thing is certain:
wishing that "maybe it will go away" won't
make it happen.
What you
need is a course of action that will support the situation you
want to create. If you want a satisfying career, then you must
get the training and education needed to get you into that
career. If you have an unrealized dream, you must do things
that will take you closer to that dream. If you have a bad
marriage, you must do something to make your marriage better
or get out of the marriage. In other words, uttering the five
most dangerous words in the English language just won’t
work. It is not enough to say MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY.
Children
are especially vulnerable in when there is a crisis in the
family. And whether you tell them or not, they know that
something is wrong. They notice when family routines are
disrupted or if mom and dad seem more withdrawn and stressed
out. They can tell when something is not right and if you
don’t communicate with them there is no telling what they
might be thinking. Experts always recommend that you confide
in your children and you explain things to them in an
age-appropriate manner as much as they want to know.
Find a time to tell your children what is going on and
you will be saving them from long-lasting effects that may
even impact on their education. Something to remember is that
the younger the child, the more important it is to
communicate. Parents often feel that their two or three year
old is too young to notice what is going on in the house, but
children who are trying to make sense of their world know when
things are not right. A few simple words of explanation can
make everything better and will keep them feeling safe and
sound.
So no
matter what is causing you stress at this time in your life,
create an action plan right now to address the problem. DO NOT
fall into the trap of using those five dangerous words,
because in most cases, IT WON’T GO AWAY!
Have a good
week!
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Don’t Pay Attention To The Losers Around You – Rise Above Them
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
April 17, 2007
If you ask my former students to give their opinion on
what kind of teacher I was, I am sure you will get some
interesting answers. As a matter of fact, some of them even
expressed their opinions to my face – a move that often
resulted in disciplinary action such as detentions and
suspensions. However, for the most part, I like to think that
I made a positive difference in the life of most of the
children who came in contact with me during my 28 year career.
One thing that I hope to be remembered for is that I
always took special care to make sure my classroom was a
“safe” environment for all learners – regardless of
their intellectual, emotional or physical abilities.
As a “classroom manager” I absolutely despised any
kind of action that was intended to embarrass, ridicule or
bully another student. I demanded that every single person in
my classroom be treated with respect and be “free” to
express their ideas and opinions without fear of being laughed
at if they made a mistake. I was proud of the fact that my
classroom was a place where children were free to try their
best and make mistakes without fear of ridicule. It was also a
place where children who didn’t accept that principle lived
in fear of discipline every single day.
I learned early in my career that children can be cruel
to each other. I also was witness to the fact that many
children find out very early in life that it is much easier to
fail than to be successful; and that they often gained more
notoriety and recognition as failures and discipline problems
than those children who were constantly working hard to
develop their talents and skills. In my classroom, I
constantly encouraged the “failures” to step away from
their “bondage” – to step away from the hold that their
“loser friends” had on them and to attempt to change in a
positive way. However, for many, the subtle strategies
employed by the “group” often brought them back into the
fold and they once again became problem children in order to
fit in with the crowd.
As a classroom teacher I saw too many bright young boys
and girls simply stop trying in order to avoid the criticism
and ridicule of the “group”. I saw too many children who
were so afraid of being called “geeks” that they simply
sat back and put in their time during school, waiting for the
opportunity to get away from the “failures and bullies”
that were holding them back.
And so, as I look back on my teaching career, and as I
now see some of my former students walking around town with
their own children, I hope that among other things, they
remember my class as being a safe environment for learning; a
place where they felt free to try their best without ridicule
and criticism. I hope that I taught them to prevail over the
failures and losers they will meet in their life who are
committed to spending their time lowering the standards of
everyone around them. I hope that they learned to “rise
above those who would try to tear you down” and feel the
satisfaction of being a positive influence on your family,
your fellow workers and you community.
There will always be winners in this world and there
will always be losers who are hoping that the winners will
fail. When you dig deep down inside these losers, you will
often find people who really would like to be a winner but who
are too
scared to try, and they attempt to cover up their own failures
as human beings by laughing at others. In a sense we
should feel sorry for them.
Just remember – the world is a better place because
of people who try and who are not afraid to do their best.
Rise above the losers in the world and don’t let anything
stand between you and your dreams.
Have a good week!
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Enduring
Life’s Challenges Will Give You The Strength To Reach Your
Treasure
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
April 10, 2007
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend
about how the younger generation today seems to expect to have
everything handed to them on a silver platter. Not all young
people fall into this category, but it is clear that many
teenagers and young adults seem to feel as if they are
“entitled” to things that previous generations had to work
hard to achieve. If you know anyone who belongs to this
“entitled generation” give them a copy of the following
story.
One day, a long time ago, a young man went to visit the
oldest and wisest man in the village for some advice on how he
could become rich and famous. The wise elder listened to the
young man tell of his dreams and of his ambition to achieve
success beyond that which anyone had ever imagined.
“Fame and fortune is yours to be had at the top of
yonder mountain,” advised the wise man, as he pointed to a
tall mountain in the distance. “You must travel on foot to
the top of the mountain. There you will find riches beyond
your belief. When you arrive there you will have but one
chance to claim the treasure for yourself. Once you leave the
top of the mountain, whatever remains will be lost forever.”
The young man was very excited and could hardly wait
until the morning when he was to meet with the wise old man
for final instructions. In the morning when he arrived at the
wise old man’s home, the young man saw a long, thick log
lying on the ground in front of the house.
“What is that for?” asked the puzzled young man.
“You must carry this log on your journey to the top
of the mountain,” explained the wise old man.
“But why?” the young man questioned. “What use is
this log? It weighs so much and will slow me down on my
journey. I want to claim my fortune quickly.”
The wise old man merely looked at the young man, and
then down at the heavy log, and quietly said, “The log is a
necessary part of the journey. You must take it with you to
the top of the mountain to claim your treasure.”
The young man was not pleased with this sudden
surprise, but he respected the wise old man and as he lifted
the long, heavy log onto his shoulders and struggled down the
road towards the mountain he realized that the trip would not
be as easy as he thought.
After he was walking for a while, a woodsman came up to
him and said, “It looks like that log is pretty heavy. Would
you like me to cut some of if off to make it lighter?”
The young man was exhausted and with so much of the
journey yet to be travelled, was afraid that he would never
make it up the mountain with the heavy burden, so he said,
“I suppose that a little bit cut off the end wouldn’t
hurt. Thanks for your help”. And the woodsman cut eight
inches off the end.
The young man continued to struggle up the mountain and
finally he arrived at the top. There at the very peak of the
mountain was the most beautiful treasure he had ever seen.
This was his dream. All that stood between him and his
treasure was a wide opening in the earth which surrounded the
mountain peak. The crevice was very deep and there was only
one way to get across the opening. Now it became clear to the
young man why the wise old man had given him this log to carry
on his journey.
The excited young man lay the log across the gap and
discovered to his dismay that it was eight inches too short to
span the distance. The eight inches that he had allowed to be
cut off to lighten his load on his journey to his treasure. As
he turned despondently to walk down the mountain side, he
looked back with tearful eyes and saw his treasure slowly
disappear.
The young man learned a lesson that for many of us
comes too late in life. Our dreams and our treasures are
within our reach, but in order to get them we must first of
all experience the struggles it takes to get there. Only then
will we have what it takes to finally reach out and claim our
treasure at the end of the journey. If we lighten the load too
much along the way, our treasure may end up just out of reach.
The next time you find yourself struggling with
life’s challenges, remember that it will be all worth it
when you finally reach the top of the mountain to claim your
reward.
Have a good week! |
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Decide
On Your Big Goals First And Stay Focused!
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
April 3, 2007
I
recently read an interesting book which was written by Eileen
Shapiro and Howard Stevenson. The name of the book was “Make
Your Own Luck”.
The book was based on the fact that every action we
take during the course of our life is a ‘bet’. In other
words, the actions we take today and the decisions we make are
based on the expectation or hope, but not the certainty, of
achieving certain desired results in the future.
Human beings we bet all of the time. We cannot avoid
it. Everything we do in life is a bet. It is a bet that the
time and resources we invest now through our actions will
achieve some desired benefit as a result of those actions.
Even the act of driving our car is a bet that the choices we
make along the way will get us to our destination point.
Sometimes we lose that bet if our car breaks down or we get
involved in an accident. When we drive over the speed limit,
we are betting that there won’t be a police officer around
the corner. The list of daily bets is endless.
What amazed me most about this book was the way the
authors were able to explain how easy it is for us to gain
control of our life simply by becoming more focussed on the
“big goals” instead of all of the smaller ones. We
can dramatically improve our odds of achieving our desired
results and therefore go from depending on dumb luck to
actually taking more control over our own destinies.
This message really hit home in one of the early
chapters when the authors were relating an experience they had
one day while conducting a job interview for the position of
manager of one of their companies. A man named Dean Kamen was
one of the candidates for the position and he was asked a
number of questions during the course of the interview. One of
the questions was, “Imagine you are stranded on a deserted
island. If you could choose one person to be stranded with
you, who would it be?”
The authors expected Mr. Kamen to give one of the
typical answers that people usually give to this question,
such as, “your spouse, a great philosopher, an athlete, a
famous religious figure, a sexy movie star, a story teller or
a close friend or family member.” What would your answer be?
Mr. Kamen surprised the authors with his answer. He
thought for a moment and then said, “The world’s best boat
builder.”
Mr. Kamen realized that his ‘big goal” was to get
off the island. He could have selected a companion who would
make life much easier for himself while he was stranded on the
island waiting to be saved. Instead, he selected a companion
who would be able to help him get off the island and thus
control his own destiny.
Needless to say, Mr. Kamen got the job.
The message for all of us is that as long as we keep
our big goals in mind and take actions that will help us move
towards those big goals, we will increase the odds of
achieving our desired outcomes. Our chances of ‘winning’
most of the bets we make in this ‘game of life’ will be
much greater if we think more like Mr. Kamen. If we want to
‘get off the island’ on which we are ‘stranded’ , then
we should be thinking about finding a ‘boat builder’, not
someone who will merely make us comfortable in our misery.
If life truly is a series of “bets”, then I want to
increase my odds of winning every time I place a bet. By
focusing on what I need to achieve the “big goals” in my
life those odds will be improved and I will be in control of
my own destiny.
Have a good week! |
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Use
The Triple Filter Method The Next Time You Hear A Rumour
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
March 27, 2007
Wouldn’t
it be nice if we could put an end to rumours and gossip?
How
many times in the past have you been guilty of passing
on some juicy information that you heard from someone
you thought you could trust only to find out later that
what you originally heard was wrong? Whenever that
happens to me I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my
stomach, knowing that I have contributed to the spread
of this false information. Each time I vow never to get
caught again…but inevitably history repeats itself.
Well,
I think I’ve finally found a method which will protect
me from rumour and gossip forever. It is such a good
piece of advice that I want to share it with all of my
readers in an attempt to eliminate all forms of rumour
and gossip.
The
next time you either hear or are about to repeat a
rumour, think about the following story about the Greek
philosopher, Socrates, who lived from 469 to 399 BC. He
was widely known and respected for his wisdom.
Once
day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who
ran up to him excitedly and said,
“Socrates, do you know what I just heard about
one of
your students?”
“Wait
a moment," Socrates replied. “Before
you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's
called the Triple
Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That's right,” Socrates continued.
"Before you talk to me about my Student let's take
a moment to filter what you're going to say. The
first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure
that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,”
the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don't
really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the
second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about
to tell me about my student something good?”
“No, on the contrary ...”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell
me something bad about him, even though you're not
certain it's true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates
continued. “You may still pass the test though,
because there is a third filter - the filter of
Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my
student going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really ...”
“Well," concluded Socrates, “if what you
want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even
useful, why tell it to me at all?”
The man was defeated and ashamed.
The
lesson here is one that we can apply in just about all
areas of our life. Whether you are a parent, a teacher,
a friend, a co-worker, or just an acquaintance, the next
time someone starts to tell you a bit of gossip about
another person, simply perform the “Triple Filter”
test on them. If they fail any part of the filter test,
then it is likely not worth your while to listen.
Moreover,
the next time you are tempted to talk about someone
else, or the next time you want to share some secret
with another person, take a couple of moments and do the
“triple filter” test on yourself.
If you have an urge to say anything of which you
are not certain is true; if you have an urge to say
anything which is not good about someone else, or; if
you have an urge to say something which is not even
useful to the person to whom you are speaking, then why
say anything at all. Stop the rumours and gossip that
you are spreading! Refuse to listen to rumours and
gossip from others! Then we can put an end to rumours
and gossip once and for all.
Have
a good week!
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“If
You Always Do What You’ve Always Done You’ll Always
Get What You’ve Always Got”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
March 13, 2007
I recently saw a documentary on television about Alcatraz
Prison. It was a famous fortress that housed some of the
most hardened criminals of all time. The cameras
followed the person doing the show and he explained how
many men had tried to escape, but only one was known to
have succeeded. He
went on to point out how the prison was built on an
island in such a way that it was virtually impossible to
escape.
As
usual, my mind wouldn’t just let me enjoy the show and
I soon started to think about how this show was so much
like an article I had just finished reading. The article
was about the other prisons that are equally confining
in this world. But those prisons have doors that are
never locked; there are no guards around the perimeter;
and escape is not only encouraged, it is actually
possible.
As
the host of the show continued to talk, I could clearly
see the similarities in both prisons. First, there was
Alcatraz
, which was man-made and constructed on an island to
keep criminals away from the rest of the world. Then
there was the other prison, which is self-made and tends
to keep us away from the rest of the world where we
might be able to enjoy the best that this life has to
offer. That second prison is called Habit.
In
the article I was reading, Dr. Jay Dishman described
Habit in the following way:
“Habit
is thinking about ourselves and our environment as a
jail or paradise. We need only to look around us and we
will see people who are rich emotionally and materially
because they think and feel rich. We also see people who
are laden with emotional and material debt because they
think and feel poor. Some are inspired with vision,
others are encumbered with doubt. Some are moved by
ambition, others feel safer in monotony. Some reach for
the mountain tops, others huddle in the pits. Some seek
opportunity, others wait for it to knock. The sad fact
is that we find far more people who are confined by
their thoughts than we find people who are fed by
them.”
What
Dr. Dishman was describing is so true. Many of us are
locked inside a prison by negative thinking. And yet all
we have to do to set ourselves free is to renew our
mind. By renewing your mind and your thoughts, you
change your habit of thinking and you renew your life at
the same time.
The
title of this week’s editorial is a quote I actually have
taped on the top of my computer screen. “If you always
do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what
you’ve always got.”
Each
time I find that I am beginning to lock myself inside a
mental prison, afraid to be inspired by some new vision
of mine, I glance at the quotation and ask myself if I
am becoming a victim of habit. I ask myself if there is
a better way of doing what I want to do…if there is a
faster way of doing what I want to do. I don’t want to
be trapped by Habit. I want to feel the freedom and
exhilaration that comes from being inspired by a vision
that few others can see. I want to reach for the
mountain tops. I want to reach out and take hold of
opportunities, not sit back and wait for opportunity to
come knocking.
Habit
is safe. Habit is predictable. Habit keeps your life on
an even keel and allows you to “fit in” with the
rest of society. Habit is also appreciated by those
around you who need predictability and who want to know
what to expect from you at all times. That is why we
spend so much time teaching our young children routines,
so that they become habit forming and controlling.
Most
certainly you will encounter your share of failure and
disappointment, but as the saying goes, “Twenty years
from now you will be more disappointed by the things you
didn’t do than by the things you did do. So throw off
the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the
tradewinds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!”
Don’t
allow yourself to remain trapped inside a prison with no
locks, no doors and no guards. Escape today…
Have
a good week!
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“Giving
Up The Good Now For A Better Future”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
March 6, 2007
We
all like to hear a good riddle now and then. It is fun
to try to guess the “trick answer” or come up with
the “punch line”. The neat thing about riddles is
that once you’ve heard the answer it tends to stay
with you forever. The next time you hear the same
riddle, the answer pops right up in your head and out
comes the correct answer. You may not have “got it”
the first time, but our brain seems to process the
answer so that we are never tricked again.
The
other day I came across an interesting riddle. Let me
try it out on you…
THERE ARE FIVE
BIRDS ON A TELEPHONE WIRE. TWO OF THEM DECIDE TO FLY
SOUTH. HOW MANY ARE LEFT?
While
you are thinking about the answer, I want you to read
the following brief warning which was written by a man
named Frank Outlaw. It is entitled “It’s All About
Character”.
Watch
your thoughts; they become words.
Watch
your words; they become actions.
Watch
your actions; they become habits.
Watch
your habits; they become character.
Watch
your character; it becomes your destiny.
DO YOU HAVE THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE?
No, it’s not three; it’s five.
DECIDING TO FLY and
ACTUALLY FLYING are two different things. So even though
two of the birds DECIDE to fly south, it doesn’t mean
that they actually left yet.
Strangely,
when I read the riddle I didn’t have the urge to
laugh. Instead I reflected upon the life lesson that
this riddle has to offer to all who hear it. What the
riddle is saying to you is that you will never get
anywhere you want to go in this life until you point
yourself in the right direction, jump off the wire and
flap your wings. Two birds may have decided to fly
south, but until they jump off the wire, they will never
have a chance of getting there.
I’ve
come across many people during the course of my life who
had dreams and aspirations, but they just couldn’t
jump off the wire. I’ve seen people who wanted to
reduce weight to improve their health, but who could not
resist the urge to have a donut or chocolate bar,
rationalizing their actions by having a diet Pepsi as
well. Anyone can want to be thin when they are not
hungry. The problem is when they are hungry they are
tempted by the momentary pleasure that comes from eating
that one donut.
The
same can be said about a person who is trying to quit
smoking. It is easy to quit right after you’ve put out
a cigarette. The real challenge is to resist the urge to
light up later on in the day. Cutting back on drinking;
eating junk food; fast food diets – it is always easy
to set goals and say that you are going to stop
drinking; stop eating junk food; and stop going to fast
food restaurants. But it is too easy to fall to
temptation later on.
In
the end, it’s not our goals that determine the quality
of our life; it's our actions. When there’s a conflict
between what we want NOW and what we want for the
future, LATER seems so much more attractive than now --
but it`s not a good life strategy.
I
love donuts, but I’ve never had one that was so good
that the pleasure lasted for more than a few moments.
The
key to a happy and satisfying life therefore, is to
resist urges and impulses for momentary pleasures that
may sabotage long-term goals. Lots of things that feel
good aren’t good for us, and lots of things that are
fun won’t make us happy.
As I leave you this week, I want to leave you
with a quote by Dante: “There is no greater sorrow
than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”
Giving
up the good `now` for a better `later` shouldn’t be
seen as a sacrifice; it’s an investment.
Have
a good week!
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“Stay”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
February
27, 2007
One night last week my wife and I had the
privilege of baby sitting our two granddaughters. Yes.
We consider it a privilege every time we have an
opportunity to spend time with them. Unfortunately, I
had to attend a meeting so it was around
8:30
when I
finally arrived at the house. My wife told me that my
oldest granddaughter had been asking for me all night,
wondering when Grandpa was coming. Thankfully, she was
still awake and when she saw me I picked her up and she
hugged my neck for what seemed like an eternity. We
didn’t say a word to each other. Just hugged and
snuggled.
The
previous night I had come across the following story in
one of my email messages. Before I write another word, I
want you to read it. It was entitled, “Stay”.
Late
one night at the hospital, a nurse took a tired, anxious
serviceman to the bedside of a dying patient.
"Your
son is here," she said to the old man. She had to
repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes
opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart
attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing
outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The
Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old
man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and
encouragement.
The
nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit
beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine
sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old
man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.
Occasionally,
the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest
awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the
ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night
noises of the hospital; the clanking of the oxygen tank,
the laughter of the night staff members exchanging
greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now
and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying
man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all
through the night.
Along
towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the
now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell
the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of
sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
"Who
was that man?" he asked.
The
nurse was startled, "He was your father," she
answered.
"No,
he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw
him before in my life."
"Then
why didn't you say something when I took you to
him?"
"I
knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also
knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or
not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I
stayed."
As my
granddaughter and I held each other, I couldn’t help
but recall the story about the Marine and the old man at
the hospital. I
don’t know who needed each other more that night. One
thing I am sure of is that my granddaughter felt the
love I felt as we held each other. It must have been the
same with the Marine and the old man.
There
is a saying that I turn to every now and then when I
want to remind myself about what is important in this
world. The saying is: “We are not human beings going
through a temporary spiritual experience. We are
spiritual beings going through a temporary human
experience.”
I
regretted not being able to be with my granddaughter for
the entire evening. It was unfortunate that I had a
meeting to attend, but were it not for the meeting, I
may not have had that wonderful, spiritual experience I
had with her that night.
The
hug may have lasted only a couple of minutes, but I will
remember the feeling for the rest of my life.
The
next time someone needs you…just be there. Stay. It is
truly a privilege to be needed by another human
being…just be there.
Have
a good week!
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“
In
This World You Tend To Get What You Expect So Make Sure
You Set Your Sights High”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
February
20, 2007
It doesn’t matter whether you are at work or at
play; young or old; rich or poor; man or woman - in this
world you will find yourself always being judged and
evaluated according to your performance. And yet,
one’s personal level of performance is often a direct
result of the expectations of people around them or to
whom they are responsible. If someone expects you to
fail at something, you often live down to that
expectation. If they expect you to succeed, you do
everything you can to live up to that expectation.
As
a classroom teacher I saw this all the time. There were
many students who came into my class with low marks and
a reputation for having poor work habits. Their parents
would tell me that they couldn’t find anything that
would motivate their child to complete assignments and
homework and that they had faced failure and challenges
for years.
I
have always had a reputation for being a stubborn man,
so I would usually ignore previous reports and establish
high expectations for ALL of my pupils. Many of them
protested that they "couldn’t" do the work.
They complained that other teachers had understood their
“learning difficulties” and would reduce the
workload or modify the program.
I held my ground and would very forcefully tell
them that there was no reason of which I was aware to
accept a lower standard and moreover, I assured them
that I would never assign anything which I felt was
beyond their capabilities. Things might not be easy, but
they would be achievable with hard work and
determination.
By
showing them that I felt they were competent, and that
in my capacity as their teacher, I had the confidence in
their ability to succeed, most of them discovered a new
level of success that surprised their parents and former
teachers alike. Best of all, they surprised themselves
at the work they were able to accomplish once they set
their sights and their own personal standards higher.
Many of these former students have returned at various
stages of their life to thank me for “being so hard on
them”, and for “helping them build up their own
self-confidence and self-esteem”. Time after time I
have heard these young adults tell me that all they
needed was someone to “push them to new heights” and
someone who they knew “was going to be there for
support and guidance along the way when they needed
help.”
Readers
who are familiar with baseball will remember Pete Rose,
or will at least recall having read something about his
playing ability. One day he was being interviewed during
spring training the year he was about to break Ty
Cobb’s all time hits record. A reporter asked him,
"Pete, you only need 78 hits to break the record.
How many at bats do you think you’ll need to get the
78 hits?"
Without
hesitation, Pete looked at the reporter and said,
"78."
The
report yelled back, "Come on, Pete. You don’t
expect to get 78 hits in 78 bat bats do you?"
Rose
explained, "Every time I step up to the plate I
expect to get a hit. If I go up there only hoping to get
a hit, then I probably don’t have a prayer."
Rose’s
philosophy is one that we all should adopt.
If
you hope to finish the project; if you hope to be a good
father; if you hope to get higher marks; if you hope to
finish your homework....you may do an adequate job, but
you will never reach your true potential. You MUST
approach everything in life with the expectation that
you will always be successful. Nothing else is
acceptable. You should never do anything merely hoping
to succeed. You MUST approach everything you do in life
fully expecting to accomplish your objectives. You may
not get a "hit" every time you go to bat, but
you at least have to "expect" that you will or
you will never get anywhere.
So
next time you find yourself doubting your abilities, or
you are unsure about whether or not you are capable of
handling your responsibilities, remember Pete Rose. Go
into everything in your life with the expectation that
you will do a great job, and you will be surprised at
how well you actually perform. And if someone else gives
you a task that seems a bit too difficult for you to
handle, just remember one very important thing. If that
if that person who gave you the task thinks you can do
it, so should you.
Have
a good week!
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“
No
Matter Where You Go or Who You Become
Never Forget Who Helped You Get There”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
February
13, 2007
Sometimes it takes many years of living for a
person to really appreciate how much others did for us
as we were going through life’s ups and downs. As you
get older and look back upon your life, you begin to
realize that you didn’t make it on your own. You had
plenty of help along the way. The trouble is that we
were not often aware that the help was there and worse
of all, when we were aware, we may not have expressed
our the way you should have.
If there is one message I would like to get
across to young adults who are beginning their trek down
the long road of life, it’s simply, “No matter where
you go or who you become, never forget who helped you
get there.” And don’t miss out on an opportunity to
thank them. This message is best expressed in a little
passage I came across the other day on the internet. It
is simply entitled, ‘Friends’; author unknown.
“In the first grade your idea of a good friend
was the person who went to the bathroom with you and
held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In the third grade your idea of a good friend was
the person who shared lunch with you when you forgot
yours on the bus.
In the fifth grade your idea of a good friend was
the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for
you.
In the seventh grade your idea of a friend was
the person who let you copy the math homework from the
night before that you had forgotten.
In the ninth grade your idea of a good friend was
the person who convinced your parents you shouldn’t be
grounded.
In the eleventh grade your idea of a good friend
was the person who gave you rides in their new car and
found you a date to the dance.
Now your idea of a good friend is still the
person who gives you the better of two choices; holds
your hand when you’re scared; helps you fight off
those who try to take advantage of you; thinks of you at
times when you are not there; reminds you of what you
have forgotten; helps you put the past behind you but
understands when you need to hold on to it a little
longer; stays with you so that you have confidence; goes
out of their way to make time with you; helps you clear
up your mistakes; helps you deal with pressure from
others; smiles for you when you are sad; helps you
become a better person; and most importantly, loves you!
The message I want to leave you today is simple.
Stay close to your friends and family, for they have
helped you become the person that you are today. Never
be afraid to express your love and to tell someone what
they mean to you. The difference between expressing love
and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around
forever. The loved ones may be gone tomorrow.
There’s never a wrong time to pick up a phone
or send a message telling your friends how much you miss
them or how much you love them. Take this opportunity
around Valentine’s Day to send a message of love to a
friend. If you don’t, you will have once again passed
up a chance to do something loving and beautiful.
Seize the day and have no regrets.”
Have a good week
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“
Take
Time To Read The Handwriting On The Wall”
Editorial by Robert
Kirwan
February
6, 2007
Just
the other day a friend of mine came up to me while I was
in the middle of rearranging my schedule to accommodate
an unforeseen problem that had just arisen and he asked,
“How can you stay so calm and relaxed? Don’t you
ever get upset at anything? This would drive me
crazy!”
I
smiled and shrugged my shoulders while telling him,
“I’ve learned that getting upset doesn’t make your
problems go away. It just gets in the way of dealing
with things and moving on.”
In
fact, there is one little story I read a long time ago
that had a great deal of influence on how I react to
things today. At the time I first read the story I was
the kind of person who could “fly off the handle”
very easily and I often over reacted to things that
other people told me before I investigated the situation
myself. After reading the story I changed my attitude
and learned to wait until I had all of the facts so that
I could form my own opinions and arrive at my own
conclusions.
Let me share the story with you.
One day a weary mother returned from the store,
lugging groceries into the kitchen. Awaiting her arrival
was her eight-year old son, eager to relate to her what
his five-year old younger brother had done.
“Mommy,”
he said, “I was outside and dad was on the phone and
Billy took his crayons and wrote on the wall. It’s on
the new wall paper you just hung in the den. I told him
you’d be mad and would have to do it over again.”
She
let out a moan and furrowed her brow while shouting,
“Where is your little brother?”
She
emptied her arms and with a purposeful stride marched to
his closet where he had gone to hide, calling his full
name as she entered his bedroom. Billy trembled with
fear as he emerged from the closet, knowing full well
that he was in deep trouble.
For
the next ten minutes, she ranted and raved about the
expensive wallpaper and how she had saved for so long to
get it done. She condemned his actions and total lack of
care and respect. The more she scolded the angrier she
became.
Then she stomped from his room, totally
distraught. She headed for the den to confirm her fears.
When
she saw the wall, her eyes flooded with tears.
The
message she read pierced her soul like a knife.
It
said, “I Love Mommy,” surrounded by a heart.
Well,
needless to say, the wallpaper remained, just as she
found it, with an empty picture frame hung to surround
it as a reminder to her and indeed to all who saw it
from that day forward to “take time to read the
handwriting on the wall”.
There
have been many times in my life when I have been
thankful for avoiding the urge to jump to conclusions
too soon. I discovered that it is always better to make
the RIGHT decision rather than make a QUICK decision
that turns out to be wrong. I have learned that unless
it is a matter of extreme urgency, I am always better
off taking time to gather all of the relevant details
before forming an opinion or taking action. Far too
often I have found myself in situations where I wished I
could have taken back my words or turned back the clock
and made different choices that would have resulted in
much more desirable outcomes.
And
so, as I related to my friend, it’s not a matter of
never getting upset over things. Just ask some of my
former students and they will confirm that I can
certainly get upset from time to time and that I’m not
always calm and relaxed. I’ve just found that taking
time to “read the handwriting on the wall” before
reacting to most situations is a much better way of
handling everything that life throws your way.
Have
a good week!
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“Break
Through The Terror Barrier and Set Yourself Free”
Editorial by Robert Kirwan
January
30, 2007
It is with sadness that I must admit that for the
first twenty-two years of my life here on Planet Earth I
was held back from so many wonderful experiences by what
is often referred to as the ‘Terror Barrier’.
The
first time I can recall coming face-to-face with the
‘Terror Barrier’ was when I was about ten years old.
I was with a group of friends and we were playing on the
side of a hill on the outskirts of Lively. There was a
cave with an opening that was just barely wide enough to
squeeze through. You had to put your arms in first and
then wiggle through the four foot tunnel. One by one my
friends all went into the cave. Some of them
encountering great difficulty and needing to be pulled
and pushed to get to the other side. When it was my
turn, I faced the opening and there it was! ‘The
Terror Barrier’.
My
friends were all encouraging me to come through, but no
matter what they said, I will never forget the terror
that gripped my mind and body as I looked at the small
opening. The coaxing did absolutely no good. There was
no way I was going to crawl into the hole.
That
day I lost out on the thrill and excitement that my
friends shared as they sat in the cave and enjoyed some
bantering and unique exploration opportunities. I also
lost a little bit of self-respect.
There
were many other times in my life up to the age of
twenty-two when I came face-to-face with the ‘Terror
Barrier’. There was the time when I was so afraid of
rejection that I didn’t ask my wife, who was sixteen
at the time I met her in Creighton, to attend the annual
Spring Bowling banquet with me. I still remember
attending the banquet alone and hating myself when she
too showed up at the event by herself. We spent a lot of
time together at that dance and only later, when I
finally had the courage to ask her to go out with me did
I discover that she had turned down four other boys,
telling them that she was already going to the banquet
with someone else, all the while waiting in hope for me
to ask her to be my date. I still kick myself for not
being able to break through the ‘Terror Barrier’ and
ask her to that banquet. I actually had nothing to fear,
but I still could not get past the barrier.
I was
imprisoned by my own fears and lack of self confidence
until the day I graduated from university. I can still
remember vividly the feeling that came over me as I
vowed that I would never again allow the ‘Terror
Barrier’ to keep me from enjoying all of the
possibilities that lay ahead in my life. I promised
myself on that very day that no matter how great the
challenge, I would never again back down in fear. I
would take on anything and everything that came in my
way.
For
twenty-two years I had stepped back from anything and
everything I truly feared. When I looked at my diploma
on graduation day, I said “no more” and I have been
free ever since.
If
you think hard enough, you may recall times when you
have come face to face with the’ Terror Barrier’.
You either stepped through it to freedom or back into
bondage, imprisoned by your own fears.
The
Terror Barrier comes up in front of us every time we
attempt to make a major move in life, especially when it
is into an area we have never traveled before. You
can’t escape it. There is always the fear of the
unknown, or worse, the fear of rejection or failure. I
have spoken with countless people, young and old, who
come right up to that barrier wanting to go ahead but
not being able to. These were people who could have
succeeded and wanted to go forward, but didn’t, and
lived to regret their decision.
I
like to think that these weekly editorials will help
some of my readers break through the ‘Terror
Barriers’ that they come up against in their life.
When you finally summon up all of your strength and make
a decision to “go for it”, most often you discover
that the barrier was nothing more than an illusion;
something that you built up in your own mind; something
that really wasn’t that bad after all. The next time
it happens, just say to yourself, “No more” and set
yourself free.
Have
a good week!
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