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Reflections
2001
Written by Robert Kirwan
The
following articles were written during 2001 and were published in
The Vision Paper.
For
your convenience I have provided you with the titles along with the
date of publication. I plan to include a brief
introduction under each title in the near future. The articles appear in the order in
which they are listed, so when you see one that interests you,
simply scroll down until you find it.
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If
you have any comments, please send them to me at
rkirwan@infocomcanada.com |
JULY TO DECEMBER
| Will
Christmas Ever Be The Same Without Them? |
| Look
For The Gold Slippers This Christmas (Dec.12) |
| The
Community Circle of Support, We're all in This Together (Dec.5) |
| All
We Have To Do Is Stand By Each Other - Even A Goose Knows That (Nov.28) |
| The
"Good Old Days" Were Not That Long Ago (Nov.21) |
| Being
In The Right Place At The Right Time; Luck? or Providence? (Nov.14) |
| We
Need Not Be Afraid of Adversity (Nov.7) |
| Taking
Time To Think Before You Act or Speak Can Often Save You From Making Big
Mistakes (Oct.31)
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| When
Your Comfort Zone Feels Like A Jail It Is Time To Get Out (Oct.24) |
| Now
That Brick Has Hit Us, What Are We Going To Do? (Oct.17) |
| Who
Wants To Get Back To Normal? Not Me! (Oct.10) |
| Just
One of Those Stories That Touch The Heart (Oct.3) |
| Your
Decision - Change Your Focus or Remain Captive (Sept.26) |
| The
Dark Candle (Sept.19) |
| Be
Careful Which Memories You Engrave In Stone (Sept.12) |
| "Always
Be Kind To Strangers, For You May Be Entertaining Angels Without Knowing
It" (Sept.5) |
| Parents
Responsible For Putting An End To Wild House-Parties (Aug.29) |
| Of Course We All Want What Is Best For Our Children!
But How Do We Know If We Are On The Right Track? (Aug.22) |
| Community Celebrations Touch The Soul In Ways That Many Of
Us Find Hard To Express (Aug.15) |
| Do You Know Where Your Children Are? They Are Watching
Everything You Do! (Aug.8) |
| Is
There Anyone You Want To Thank Today? (Aug.1) |
| The
Echo of Life (July.18) |
| A
"Love" Story (July.11) |
| Take
Care of The Rocks First (July.4) |
JANUARY TO JUNE
| Building
A Strong and Productive Life Is As Simple As Developing Strong
And Productive Habits (June.27) |
| Puppies
For Sale (June.20) |
| There
is Much in The Show Window, But Nothing In The Stock Room (June.13) |
| A
Sandpiper To Bring You Joy (June.6) |
| Graduation
Brings With It Many Dreams And Wishes For A Successful Life (May.30) |
| If
Nobody Cared... (May.23) |
| Every
Day Be Thankful For Who You Are And What You Have (May.16) |
| I
Loved You Enough... (May.9) |
| Sometimes
All We Need Is A Hug (May.2) |
| Hiring
People To Work For You Is No Easy Task (Apr.25) |
| This
Is Good! (Apr.18) |
| People
Will Always Remember How You Made Them Feel
(Apr.11) |
| I
Believe In Tomorrow (Apr.4) |
| A
Thousand Marbles (Mar.28) |
| The
People Who Make A Difference In Your Life Are The Ones Who Care (Mar.21) |
| Life
Is A Do-It-Yourself Project (Mar.14) |
| If
You Spend Time Mourning Your Losses You Will Miss Out On The
Special Things You Have
(Mar.7)
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| We
Can All Learn A Lot About Life From The Sponge (Feb.28) |
| I
Can Do It! (Feb.21) |
| "I
Don't Understand Life" A Lot Of Questions With No Answers (Feb.14) |
| "Just
A Dog" (Feb.7) |
| Enduring
Life's Challenges Will Give You The Strength To Reach Your
Treasure (Jan.31) |
| Saying
Good-Bye (Jan.24) |
| If
Tomorrow Never Comes (Jan.17) |
| It Was Meant To Be! (Jan.10) |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
December 19, 2001
Will Christmas Ever Be The Same Without Them?
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Christmas
is a wonderful time of year, filled with so much joy and happiness.
Everyone is attending parties, shopping for gifts, making plans to visit
friends and relatives, and generally just trying to keep up with the
hectic pace of the holiday season. However, no matter how happy we are
or how much we enjoy the Christmas festivities, most of will experience
a few sad moments at this time of year as well. Perhaps it overcomes you
as you are gazing out the window into the clear night, watching the
crisp snow falling to the ground. With Christmas carols playing in the
background, you fall into a trance and your mind wanders to those
special people who are no longer part of your life...and you wonder,
"How can Christmas ever be the same without them?"
We have all endured the pain and suffering of the death of a loved
one - grandparent, a parent, a close family member or a friend. There
were certain traditions associated with those loved ones that you
cherished, and will miss dearly. Whether your loss was caused by death,
divorce, a family member moving to another place, or for any one of
numerous other reasons, the feeling is still the same. You miss that
person and for a moment wish that you could shut out the sights and
sounds of Christmas. After all, how can you have so much fun without the
people who are no longer part of your life?
How often have you been among a crowd of people and been overcome by
sadness as you find yourself feeling guilty for having such a good time,
knowing that a loved one is no longer with you? Do you feel like
everyone around is staring, wondering what’s wrong? Whenever you find
yourself feeling like this, allow the memories to come flooding in.
Allow the good memories to fill your head and bring you once again to a
state of joy. Instead of feeling down, wondering how things will ever be
the same without your loved ones, do your best to recall those important
traditions and memories and remember the good times you had with them.
This is also the time of year when a simple smile, a touch on the
shoulder, holding hands briefly, a sincere compliment or even a little
note of recognition can mean the world to those you meet, especially
strangers. Reaching out to show that you care and understand how someone
else feels is so much easier during the Christmas season because of the
overall atmosphere and festive spirit. As you discover the warmth that
comes from sharing your love with everyone you meet, you will begin to
realize that the memories you have of lost loved ones are cherished more
than ever, and instead of making you feel sad, those memories will lift
your spirits.
We can’t escape from the fact that things change in our life as we
grow older. Some for the good, and some not so good. Unfortunately, it
is during the holiday season that we realize how much things have
changed. This year, don’t try to suppress the memories of years gone
by. Allow them to make this the best Christmas ever.
So as you go about your final preparations for Christmas 2001, plan
all of the great traditions that have been a part of your life for so
many years. Allow time to recall the memories of years gone by so your
loved ones will remain part of the festivities, even if they are no
longer around. You will find that they can still add a great deal to
your holiday, even if they are only here in spirit.
Have a very Merry Christmas! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
December 12, 2001
Look For The Gold Slippers This Christmas
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If
you are like most people in this area, it usually takes some special
moment to put you into the Christmas Spirit. It could be the first
snowfall; putting up your Christmas lights; shopping for presents; the
first carollers; or sending out your Christmas cards. You know what I
mean. We don’t have that distinctive Christmas feeling all year long,
but most of us tend to get into the "Christmas Spirit" at this
time of year. What did it for you? Or are you one of those for whom the
Christmas Bell has not yet rung?
You may be surprised at what eventually sends you into the Christmas
mood. Often it sneaks up on you and could be something as
"insignificant" as what occurs in the following story that I
found on the internet. The story was written by a lady out shopping just
before Christmas, but it could be any one of us.
"It was only four days before Christmas. The spirit of the
season hadn’t yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the
parking lot of our local discount store. Inside the store, it was worse.
Shopping carts and last minute shoppers jammed the aisles. Why did I
come today? I wondered.
My feet ached almost as much as my head. My list contained names of
several people who claimed they wanted nothing but I knew their feelings
would be hurt if I didn’t buy them anything. Buying for someone who
had everything and deploring the high cost of items, I considered
gift-buying anything but fun. Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with
last minute items and proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the
shortest but it looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait.
In front of me were two small children - a boy of about five and a
younger girl. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered
tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He
carefully clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The
girl’s clothing resembled her brother’s. Her head was a matted mass
of curly hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face.
She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers. As the
Christmas music sounded in the store’s stereo system, the girl hummed
along, off-key but happily. When we finally approached the checkout
register, the girl carefully placed the shoes on the counter. She
treated them as though they were a treasure.
The clerk rang up the bill. "That will be $6.09," she said.
The boy laid his crumpled dollars attop the stand while he searched his
pocket for some change. Finally he came up with $3.12.
"I guess we will have to put them back," he bravely said.
"We will come back some other time, maybe tomorrow."
With that statement a soft sob broke from the little girl. "But
Jesus would have loved these shoes," she cried. "Well, we’ll
go home and work some more. Don’t cry. We’ll come back," he
said.
Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in
line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas. Suddenly a pair
or arms came around me and a small voice said, "Thank you
lady."
"What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the
shoes?" I asked.
The boy answered, "Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy
said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus."
The girl spoke, "My Sunday school teacher said the streets in
heaven are shiny gold, just like these shoes. Won’t mommy be beautiful
walking on those streets to match these shoes?"
My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face.
"Yes," I answered. "I am sure she will."
Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the
true spirit of giving.
If you haven’t yet found the Spirit of Christmas inside you this
year, be on the lookout for that special moment when it will hit you.
For no matter what you situation in life, you will definitely discover
the spirit somewhere, sometime and with someone. Keep looking for your
"gold slippers" and enjoy this Christmas like no other.
Have a good week. |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
The Community Circle of Support, We're all in This
Together |
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I
want to begin this week’s editorial by getting right into a little
story that may be familiar to you.
There once was a slave named Androcles who
escaped from his master and fled into the forest. As he was wandering
about he came upon a lion lying down moaning and groaning. At first he
turned to run away, but when he noticed that the lion did not chase him,
he turned back and went up to the mighty beast. As Androcles came near,
the lion put out his paw, which was all swollen and bleeding. When he
looked at the paw he saw a huge thorn which was stuck in it causing all
the pain. Androcles pulled out the thorn and bound up the paw of the
lion who was soon able to rise and lick the hand of Androcles like a
dog. The lion then took Androcles to his cave and every day brought him
meat on which to survive. Shortly afterwards, both Androcles and the
lion were captured and the slave was sentenced to be thrown to the lion
which had been kept without food for several days. The Emperor and his
people came to see the spectacle. Androcles was led out into the middle
of the arena. Soon the lion was released from his den and rushed
bounding and roaring towards his victim. But as soon as the lion came
near to Androcles, he recognized his friend and fawned upon him, licking
his hands like a friendly dog. When the Emperor was told the whole
story, Androcles was set free and the lion let loose to return to his
native forest.
This story has a great deal of significance for
us today. Even though there appears to be much prosperity and wealth in
the world today, when we look closely at the situation, we see a
completely different picture. There are hundreds of people living in
Valley East and Capreol who are living in poverty, and like the lion in
the story, are reaching out for help of any kind to pull them out of
this desolation. There are also many businesses in Valley East and
Capreol which are struggling to survive in these uncertain economic
times. With a recession on the horizon and decreasing sales figures, a
lot of local businesses have been forced to reduce staff and cut back
drastically in all areas in order to keep their doors open in hope of a
better future just around the corner. It is not certain how long they
can hang on and they too are reaching out for help to pull them out of
despair. Finally, the rest of us find ourselves in the enviable position
of having good jobs and steady income, but yet, we too are finding that
skyrocketing costs are eating up much of our money, forcing us to cut
back on spending and search for cost-saving alternatives. We too are
reaching out for help.
In the story, Androcles had just escaped and
was wandering the forest without any food, knowing that his freedom
could disappear at any time, meaning certain disaster. The lion was hurt
and needed someone to help him take away his pain so that he could once
again walk the forest with confidence. It was Androcles who made the
first move to save the lion. Once the lion recovered, it was the
lion’s turn to help out Androcles. And in the stadium, the bond
between the lion and Androcles stood the ultimate test, resulting in
both earning their freedom.
I would like to ask you to turn to the centre
two pages of this paper when you finish this editorial. Read about the
Infocom Price Club and the “Cash For Food” Fund-Raising Drive. See
if you recognize the similarities between these two community
initiatives and the story about Androcles and the Lion. Those two pages
may well contain the secret to the future for Valley East and Capreol
and indeed the entire City of Greater Sudbury.
The Infocom Price Club is all about businesses
and consumers in a circle of support. Businesses provide lower prices to
consumers who belong to the club. Consumers do their shopping from the
local businesses in order to save money, and in doing so, help keep the
businesses viable and healthy by increasing their sales. A significant
portion of the annual membership fee to belong to the Infocom Price Club
is returned to the people of our community who are down on their luck
and most in need of our help through the “Cash For Food”
Fund-Raising Drive for the local food banks. At the end of the day,
businesses increase their sales, thus enabling them to expand and put
more people to work. Residents are able to make their hard-earned money
go further as they take advantage of savings offered by business members
of the club. And, best of all, the volunteers at the local food banks
receive money which can be used to provide food and services to other
members of our community who need some help until they get back on their
feet, earning enough money to survive on their own.
By reaching out to help each other in this time
of need, we will all benefit from the power of this Community Circle of
Support and move forward into a brighter future with the confidence that
we are all in this together. We cannot do it alone. Perhaps taking out a
membership to the Infocom Price Club and supporting the “Cash For
Food” Drive is only a small step - but it is a step in the right
direction, and it will certainly help everyone in the Valley East and
Capreol, including those who need it the most.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
November 28, 2001
All We Have To Do Is Stand By Each Other - Even A Goose
Knows That
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Have
you ever watched geese flying along in the sky in a “V” formation?
They fly like that because as each bird in front flaps its wings it
creates an updraft for the bird immediately following. By flying
together in a “V” formation, it has been estimated that the whole
flock adds over 70% to its flying range than if each bird flew on its
own. This means that the flock can cover their journey much more quickly
and with much less of an effort by working together.
Geese work together so that the entire flock
achieves a higher degree of success. You would think that people would
be able to discover this strategy as well. It is a known fact that the
City of Greater Sudbury is in trouble. Unemployment is up! Businesses
are closing! The hospital construction has stopped! We are losing our
youth to the south! Many small businesses which are still operating are
barely surviving! The jobs that we are losing are high paying jobs in
big industry, but the jobs that we replace them with are low-paying
entry-level jobs. There is no need to go on.
Yet, in spite of this, we all share a common
direction. Everyone living in the City of Greater Sudbury really wants
to do something to improve the situation. We want to help
stimulate the economy and create new jobs so that our children can
establish a future in their home town. It is precisely this sense of
community and common direction which we must harness and use if we have
any chance of rising out of our current state and creating a brighter
future for everyone in the area.
In order to see how we can do this, we must
once again take a lesson from the geese. The situation in Sudbury is
bleak, and we must take action soon in order to correct the situation.
Since we are all moving in the same direction, we can travel on the
thrust of one another and thrive on the encouragement and support.
However, there are those among us - individuals and businesses - who are
struggling to keep up. Some of us are in trouble and in danger of losing
our ability to carry on with the group. This happens for a number of
reasons, but whatever the reason, the result can be deadly.
When a goose get sick or tired and falls out of
formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down
to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose and try to
nurture it back to health so that it can fly again and rejoin the rest
of the group. If after all efforts fail, and the fallen goose dies,
then, and only then, do the healthy geese go back into formation with
the rest of the geese.
This is precisely the kind of support we must
provide for the members of our community who need our help. Instead of
continuing along with the rest of the group while there are those among
us who are falling, we should make sure that healthy members fall out of
formation with them in order to nurture these people back to
“health” so that they can once again rejoin the group and continue
on the journey. The more of us going in the same direction, the greater
the thrust and the easier it is to complete our journey. Every time we
allow one of our members to drop out, it means the rest of us have to
work harder to keep going. What has happened over the years in the City
of Greater Sudbury is that we have allowed members - individuals and
businesses - to drop out without providing them the support and
encouragement to get back up and rejoin the group.
Even though it may be said that I am biased in
that I happen to write for the Vision, I must nevertheless commend
Pierre Charette, the owner of The Vision Paper, for his support
of the “Cash For Food” Fund-Raising Drive which is being sponsored
in part, by The Vision Paper and a number of other businesses from
around the City of Greater Sudbury. The money raised for the Food Banks
from the sale of memberships to the Infocom Price Club will not only
help provide much needed food and supplies for those members of our
community who are in dire distress, but will also encourage consumers to
support local small businesses in order to save money themselves on
every day purchases. Just as it is with the geese flying in the “V”
formation, residents of Valley East, and more importantly, residents of
the City of Greater Sudbury, will be working together to create an
updraft so that we can all thrust forward into a bright future. We will
continue to provide support to those among us who are facing
difficulties in order that they too, one day, will recover and rejoin
the rest of us on our journey. Let’s all make sure we are heading in
the same direction.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
November 21, 2001
The "Good Old Days" Were Not That Long Ago
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A
few weekends ago my wife and I spent the afternoon walking around the
area that was formerly known as the town of Creighton Mine. It was the
community in which she grew up and in which the two of us had enjoyed
many, many days as teenagers walking around the streets just talking and
being together. There is nothing left of the town now. INCO decided to
“dismantle the town” a long time ago. All that is left are the
narrow gravel streets and wild bushes growing where homes once stood.
Both of us spoke of growing up in a much simpler time, and actually
longed for a return to those peaceful days of the 1960's in Creighton. I
know that a lot has happened during my lifetime, but I was never really
aware of just how much the world has changed until I came across a
little article entitled “How old is this person?” People who are in
their 60's will appreciate this article, as will just about anyone else
who feels that the world is spinning out of control.
As you
are reading the story, try to guess how old you think this person would
be today.
One evening a grandson was
talking to his grandfather about current events. He asked what he
thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just
things in general.
The granddad replied, “Well,
let me think a minute...I was born before television, penicillin, polio
shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, frisbees and the pill. There
was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens. Man had not
invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, or clothes dryers.
The clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn’t yet
walked on the moon. Every family had a father and a mother, and every
boy over 14 had a rifle that his dad taught him how to use and respect.
And they went hunting and fishing together. Until I was 25, I called
every man older than I, “Sir” and after I turned 25, I still called
policemen and every man with a title “Sir”. Sundays were set aside
for going to church as a family, helping those in need, and visiting
with family or neighbours. We were before gay-rights, computer-dating,
dual careers, daycare centers and group therapy. Our lives were governed
by the Ten Commandments, good judgement, and common sense. We were
taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up
and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a
privilege; living here an even bigger privilege. We thought fast food
was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant
getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed
their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant
time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends - not
purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks,
CD’s, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We
listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches on
our radios. And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out
listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan’
on it, it was junk. The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on
your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonalds, and instant coffee were unheard
of. We had 5 and 10 cent stores where you could actually buy things for
5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and
a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn’t want to splurge, you
could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail one letter and two
postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could
afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day,
‘grass’ was mowed, ‘coke’ was a cold drink, ‘pot’ was
something your mother cooked in, and ‘rock music’ was your
grandmother’s lullaby. ‘Aids’ were helpers in the Principal’s
office, ‘chip’ meant a piece of wood, ‘hardware’ was found in a
hardware store, and ‘software’ wasn’t even a word. And we were the
last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have
a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is
a generation gap.
Granddad just turned 60 years
old. How old do you feel now?
My own kids still laugh when I
tell them that one of the most incredible feelings I had as a young boy
was when I watched a hand-held calculator actually do multiplication and
division by simply pressing numbered buttons. I shudder to think of
where modern technology is taking us, but it certainly will be quite a
ride.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
November 14, 2001
Being In The Right Place At The Right Time; Luck? or
Providence?
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Have
you ever had a moment in your life when you were in the right place at
precisely the right time to make a difference in someone else’s life?
You can’t explain why you were there, and often it happens while you
were doing something unusual or that was not part of your normal
schedule. Most likely you were also caught up in the emotions of the
“What would have happened if I had not...” syndrome. To
demonstrate what I mean, let me share a little story with you.
Jim was walking down a dimly lit street late
one evening when he heard muffled screams coming from behind a clump of
bushes. Alarmed, he stopped to listen and panicked when he realized that
what he was hearing was the unmistakable sound of a struggle: heavy
grunting, frantic scuffling and tearing of fabric.
Only yards from where Jim stood, a woman was
being attacked. Jim didn’t know what to do. Should he get involved? He
was frightened for his own safety and cursed himself for having suddenly
decided to take a new route home that night. He was worried about
becoming another statistic. Shouldn’t he just run to the nearest phone
and call the police?
As he struggled from within, the girl’s cries
were growing weaker. He knew he had to act fast. Yet he knew he
couldn’t just walk away from this. He realized that he could not turn
his back on the fate of this unknown woman, even if it meant risking his
own life.
Now, Jim was not a brave man, nor was he
athletic. He didn’t quite know where he found the moral courage and
physical strength, but once he resolved to help the girl, he became
strangely transformed. He ran behind the bushes and pulled the assailant
off the woman. Grappling, they fell to the ground, where they wrestled
for a few minutes until the attacker jumped up and escaped.
Panting hard, Jim scrambled upright and
approached the girl, who was crouched behind a tree, sobbing. In the
darkness, Jim could barely see her outline, but he could certainly sense
her trembling shock. Not wanting to frighten her further, he at first
spoke to her from a distance. “It’s okay,” Jim said soothingly.
“The man ran away. You’re safe now”. There was a long pause and
then he heard the words, uttered in wonder, in amazement. “Dad, is
that you? And then, from behind the tree, out stepped Jim’s youngest
daughter, Katherine.
What was it that made Jim decide that very
night to take a different route home? What was it that made him go
against his natural inclination to run away and let someone else come to
the rescue?
Was it luck or divine providence? Was Jim just
in the right place at the right time?
Something remarkable has happened in my life
recently which has me asking the same questions. Last March, without
warning, the Teachers’ Pension Plan had a change in policy which
allowed me to retire three years ahead of time on an early reduced
pension. It gave me the opportunity I needed to leave teaching to work
with my sons on the development of a business consulting company which
provides web site design and management for small businesses. We have
since created a discount shopping club called the Infocom Price Club
which is going to be used by The Vision Paper in a major fund-raising
drive to raise money for the Food Banks of Valley East, Capreol and
Nickel Centre. Money raised from a portion of
the membership fee will go directly to the Food Banks in those
communities to assist the volunteers in serving the needs of the many
impoverished people of all ages who live among us.
Yes, it is true that the Infocom Price Club has
created employment for my sons, thus enabling them to look forward to
living their life in Valley East. But, it has also provided a way for
the Food Banks to raise much needed money to continue their good works
in this community. What would have happened if the pension board
hadn’t changed its policy? If I was still teaching, would my sons have
moved away from home by now? And what about the Food Banks? Where would
they get their money?
I guess when all is said and done, it doesn’t
matter much why things happen the way they do. We just need to accept
our fate and make the most of it. Right now, I am very grateful to The
Vision Paper for sponsoring this fund-raising project; to the owners of
LOEB Val Est, Food Basics, Moncion’s Independent Grocers, Capreol
Fresh Mart and Garson Foodland for providing space in their grocery
stores where people can purchase memberships; to the co-ordinators of
the Good Neighbours, St. Vincent de Paul, Bread and Roses and Garson
Food Banks for using the money raised to purchase food and supplies for
the less fortunate of our community; and most importantly, to the people
of Valley East, Capreol and Garson who will be purchasing memberships to
the Infocom Price Club to help raise money for the Food Banks.
Was it luck? Divine Providence? Or simply being
in the right place at the right time? Making sure that everyone in our
community has enough food to eat all year long is all that matters.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
November 7, 2001
We Need Not Be Afraid of Adversity
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As
the City of Greater Sudbury continues to struggle in the face of a large
economic slow-down, it is becoming clear that our entire future will
depend on the courage and tenacity of young people who are willing to
avoid the lure of greener pastures in the south. On October 25, I took
part in a celebration which recognized close to one hundred young
entrepreneurs who have set up business in the City during the past ten
years or so. It was a very touching ceremony, especially in light of my
background in marketing and advertising. I know that small businesses
are struggling. I also know that many people who depended on those small
businesses for part-time employment have lost their jobs and they too
are struggling to make ends meet while attempting to remain in the
Sudbury area.
A gentleman by the name of Neil Eskelin once
said that the way to understand adversity is to take two identical
acorns from the same oak tree and plant them in two different locations.
Plant the first one in the middle of a dense forest, and the other one
on a hill by itself. The oak standing on a hillside is exposed to every
storm and gale. As a result, its roots plunge deep into the earth and
spread in every direction, even wrapping themselves around giant
boulders. At times it may seem the tree isn’t growing fast enough, but
the growth is happening under ground. It’s as if the roots know they
must protect the tree from the threatening elements. On the other hand,
the acorn planted in the forest becomes a weak, frail sapling - having
to compete with giant oaks for nutrients and space. And since it is
protected by its neighbours, the little oak doesn’t sense the need to
spread its roots for support.
A young person, or even an older person for that
matter, who decides to set up business in the Sudbury area is well aware
of adversity and challenges. The business will face many “storms”,
especially in the early going. The business owners will have to be very
much aware of opportunities and be willing to change direction often in
an effort to establish strong roots in the form of relationships and
associations. The young entrepreneur will have to pay a great deal of
attention to quality of work and be responsible for providing only the
best of service to clients. At times, it may seem as if the business is
doomed to failure, and the long, hard hours of dedication and work will
be difficult to take. Growth will also be very slow as the business
spreads its roots throughout the community in order to survive.
An immigrant who came to Sudbury from Europe
many years ago, and lived his life as a successful businessman, compared
life in this city to a cafeteria. When he first arrived in town, he sat
down in a cafeteria-style restaurant and waited for someone to take his
order. Of course, nobody did. Finally a woman with a tray of food sat
down opposite him and informed how a cafeteria worked. She told him to
start at one end and then go along the line picking out what he wanted.
At the end of the line a person would tell him how much he had to pay.
The immigrant explained, “I soon learned that’s how everything works
in Sudbury. Life’s a cafeteria here. You can get anything you want as
long as you are willing to pay the price. You can even get success, but
you’ll never get it if you wait for someone to bring it to you. You
have to get up and get it yourself.”
These are two very important lessons, not only
for young entrepreneurs, but for anyone who has enough confidence in
this region to remain in Sudbury and build a life here. First of all,
don’t be afraid of disappointments, frustration and adversity. It will
make you stronger and help you develop a strong root system, which will
enable you to survive all storms you will face over the years. Secondly,
don’t wait for someone to bring you success. You have to get up and
get it yourself.
Good luck to all young people who are ready to
give Sudbury a shot. Our future depends on you.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
October 31, 2001
Taking Time To Think Before You Act or Speak Can Often
Save You From Making Big Mistakes
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I
am sure that all of us have, at one time or another, had the
unforgettable experience of regretting something we said or did out of
haste. Moments when we have reacted out of anger or retaliation only to
discover that we have made a big mistake. One of the best pieces of
advice that a person can heed is to weigh all things very carefully
before striking out with anger or criticism. Let me share with you a
story I came across in an old book that illustrates this point.
A trapper and his wife lived in the Alaskan
wilderness. They had a child, but the wife died when the child was only
two years old. The trapper had to go out in the woods in order to do his
trapping, so he sometimes left the child for a few hours in the care of
their faithful dog. One afternoon, while the trapper was out, a terrible
blizzard came up. The storm was so terrible that the trapper had to take
refuge in a hollow tree to save his own life. At daybreak he rushed back
to his cabin. The door was open. His dog, who looked at him from the
corner of his eyes was covered with blood. The father’s blood froze in
his veins. All he could think of was that his dog had turned wild and
had killed his child. The trapper reached for an ax and in an instant
buried the blade into the skull of his trusted animal. Like a maniac, he
scanned the scene. In hopeless desperation, he uncovered the gruesome
remnants of his cabin. Tipped over, the cracked furniture was telling a
story of a battle that had taken place there shortly before he returned.
He suddenly heard a faint cry coming from under the bed. Again, his
heart seemed paralysed. There he found his young child, safe and sound.
He clutched the child to his chest, pausing to cuddle the youngster in
his arms and was about to check to see where the blood on his dog came
from, when in a remote corner of the room he spotted a dead wolf, his
huge mouth showing fangs which were intended for the baby which his
faithful dog had saved. He
now realized that, but for a moment of caution, he could have been
holding both his child and his hero dog in his arms. Instead, remorse
took over him when he realized his mistake.
Most of us haven’t experienced anything quite
so drastic as the example in the story, but once as a young teacher I
found myself speaking rather harshly to a 10 year old about forgetting
his math book at home. Of course I had to exercise my authority and make
an example of the child so that the rest of the students would learn to
never show up without their homework done in the future. While the
little boy sat there, head down and tears splashing on his desk, a
little girl sitting in the desk next to him whispered to me that the
little boy’s mother had been rushed by ambulance to the hospital in
the middle of the night and that he had spent the night at his
grandmother’s. His mother
was still at the hospital and he didn’t know what was wrong with her.
I can’t begin to describe how I felt at that moment, but I can tell
you that it changed the way I treated students from that moment on.
Had the trapper taken a few moments to
determine the situation and find out what had happened to his child, the
faithful dog would have been recognized as a hero and it would have been
one of the most memorable events of the man’s life. Instead, it turned
into one of the most horrible. Had I taken the time to ask the young
student why he forgot his book, I would certainly have understood why
math books were the last things on his mind with his mother in the
hospital.
We all fly off the handle now and then, but
life would be so much more enjoyable if we would take time to fully
understand all situations and circumstances before acting in a manner
which we may wish we could forget. Next time you are upset or want to
lash out in criticism, take a couple of deep breaths and get a clear
picture before you take action.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
October 24, 2001
When Your Comfort Zone Feels Like A Jail It Is Time To Get
Out
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Do
you have a comfort zone? You recognize it as a place where you know you
cannot fail, but as you look at the same four walls and go about your
busy work day after day, it seems more like a jail. Many of us stay
inside our comfort zone because it is safe. We go through life feeling
that what we are doing isn’t satisfying our inner needs, but we learn
to rationalize our situation by saying that we don’t care about
getting ahead or accomplishing those dreams we used to have when we were
young. Often we get the urge to break out of our comfort zone and then
find excuses for staying right were we are watching the rest of the
world go by.
The comfort zone "jail" we find ourselves in reminds me of
a type of crab that possesses a particular human trait that causes
thousands of them to be caught every day, even though they are smart
enough to escape any crab trap designed. The trap is a wire cage with a
hole at the top. Bait is placed inside the cage and the cage is lowered
into the water. One crab comes along and enters the cage to take the
bait. A second crab comes along and joins him. Soon after more crabs
come inside, even when the bait is long gone. The crabs could easily
climb up the side of the trap and get out the hole, but instead they
stay in the cage. More and more of them come into the cage to join the
trapped crabs. If one of the crabs realizes there is no further reason
to stay in the trap and attempts to leave, the rest of the crabs gang up
on him and force him to stay. Eventually, the cage is hauled up and the
crabs become someone’s dinner.
How often have you felt like one of those trapped crabs, wanting to
escape your cage only to encounter human crabs who are determined to
hold you back? These human crabs are often disguised as family, friends
and co-workers and they don’t use physical force, but they use
something far more powerful - innuendo, doubt, ridicule, mockery,
sarcasm, scorn, sneering, belittlement, humiliation, jeering, taunting,
teasing, lying and other ways to discourage you from getting out of your
comfort zone to achieve your dreams.
Once upon a time there was a large mountainside where an eagle’s
nest rested. The eagle’s nest contained four large eagle eggs. One day
an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one of the eggs to roll down
the mountain to a chicken farm located in the valley below. The chickens
knew that they must protect and care for the eagle’s egg, so an old
hen volunteered to nurture and raise the large egg. One day the egg
hatched and a beautiful eagle was born. Sadly, however, the eagle was
raised to be a chicken. Soon, the eagle believed he was nothing more
than a chicken. The eagle loved his home and family, but his spirit
cried out for more. While playing a game on the farm one day, the eagle
looked to the skies above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring
in the skies. "Oh", the eagle cried, "I wish I could soar
like those birds." The chickens roared with laughter, "You
cannot soar with those birds. You are a chicken and chickens do not
soar."
The eagle continued staring at his real family up above, dreaming
that he could be with them. Each time the eagle would let his dreams be
known, he was told it couldn’t be done. That is what the eagle learned
to believe. The eagle, after time, stopped dreaming and continued to
live his life like a chicken. Finally, after a long life as a chicken,
the eagle passed away.
You are not a crab, nor are you an eagle, but you are what you
believe you are! Follow your dreams. If you want to break away from your
comfort zone, do it! If you have an unfilled dream - go for it! Don’t
listen to others who are caught in the same trap. It is time to get rid
of those excuses and live your dreams.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
October 17, 2001
Now That Brick Has Hit Us, What Are We Going To Do?
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Next
week is Small Business Week in Sudbury. It provides an opportunity for
the community to pay tribute to those entrepreneurs who are the backbone
of our society - small business owners who are responsible for creating
the majority of jobs in the region. During the past several years the
political leaders of the City of Greater Sudbury have been patting
themselves on the back over the arrival of several major retail outlets
in the region - retail outlets which have now made us the shopping
centre of the north. We also listen to the applause about the
construction of the new Sudbury Regional Hospital and Science North’s
Dynamic Earth. At the same time, we are made aware of the thousands of
new jobs which have been created in the area, making us one of the major
"Call Centres" in the province as well.
Before I get to the point I am trying to make, I want you to read the
following story.
"One day a successful executive was travelling down a
neighbourhood street going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was
watching for kids darting out from between parked cars as he drove
along, when all of a sudden, a brick smashed into the Jag’s side door!
He slammed on the brakes and spun the Jag back to the spot where the
brick had been thrown. He jumped out of the car, grabbed some kid and
pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all
about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?"
Building up a head of steam, he went on, "That’s a new car and
that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do
it?"
"Please, mister, please. I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else
to do," pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no
one else would stop..." Tears were dripping down the boy’s chin
as he pointed around the parked car. "It’s my brother," he
said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I
can’t lift him up."
Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me
get him back into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for
me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling
lump in his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and
took out his handkerchief to clean the scrapes and told the boys
everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you," the grateful child said to him. The man
watched the little boy push his brother down the sidewalk toward his
home. He never did repair the side door. He kept the dent to remind him
not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you
to get your attention.
Getting back to my point, many "informed" (to use the term
loosely) people in the community continue to go forward in their big
fancy cars, completely fooled by what they see as good indicators for
the local economy. They point out that Inco is hiring up to 600 skilled
people next year; opportunities for employment are appearing in the
health and education sectors; and the education system in Sudbury will
enable young people to become trained in skills needed locally so that
they can begin their careers in the area where they grew up. While it is
true that there are signs that some of the larger employers will be
needing skilled workers, we seem to forget that most of the jobs in our
community are found in the small business sector.
NOW FOR THAT BRICK! Regardless of what anyone says, the fact remains
that Sudbury has the highest unemployment rate in Ontario; the highest
net out-migration of youth in the province; the lowest growth rate in
average income; and is the only urban area in Canada with a declining
population. None of this is cause for celebration! In fact, the number
of people employed in Sudbury has gone down by almost 6000 since last
December. Each of those 6000 jobs would have resulted in a minimum of
$1000 per month in living expenditures. We have lost $6 million in
direct economic activity as a result of the job losses. When you add in
the multiplier effect, we have lost about $20 million per month in
spin-off economic activity. Inco and Falconbridge may well be hiring,
but the hiring will not come close to replacing the jobs lost to date.
Many of our young people want to remain in the north. However, they
are witnessing a dismantling of the structure of the city as our small
business owners continue to be hammered and are forced to either shut
down or lay off staff. The loss of 6000 jobs is a hard pill to swallow
for the small business owner who depends on the support of the community
consumers. If local politicians continue to promote the expansion of the
larger retail and factory outlets which are in direct competition with
the small business owners who have worked hard to make a living here for
many years, it may be good for the people who remain employed in the
region, but what good is it doing if we lose jobs and people have to
move out of the city to find work? Now that we have been hit by the
brick, will we stop and help or will we just keep on driving until we
run out of gas?
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
October 10, 2001
Who Wants To Get Back To Normal? Not Me!
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After
the devastating events which shook the entire world on September 11,
there were countless calls from politicians and industrial leaders for
Americans and Canadians to return to a normal way of life as soon as
possible. This was intended to show the terrorists that we wouldn’t
let them destroy our way of life with their senseless acts of cowardice.
At the same time, the entire world was united in its attack on these
enemies of mankind. The United States has been encouraged to “search
out” terrorists from all corners of the world and destroy them so that
they can never strike again. President Bush has not only condemned
terrorists, he also condemned the countries and the people who provide
terrorists with shelter and support of any kind. His mission is not only
to “smoke out” terrorists, but also anyone who harbours terrorists.
During the past few weeks we have witnessed a
tremendous outpouring of humanity. Max Lucado, is one writer who I think
most eloquently described the events which occurred during the first
week after the attack on the World Trade Centre.
“Four thousand gathered for mid-day prayer in
a downtown cathedral. A New York City church, filled and emptied six
times last Tuesday. The owner of a Manhattan tennis shoe store threw
open his doors and gave running shoes to those fleeing the towers.
People stood in lines to give blood, in hospitals to treat the sick, in
sanctuaries to pray for the wounded. America was different this week. We
sent money to families we’ve never seen. We wept for people we did not
know. Talk show hosts read scriptures; journalists printed prayers. Our
focus shifted from fashion hemlines and box scores to orphans and widows
and the future of the world. We were different this week. Republicans
stood next to Democrats singing the national anthem. Catholics prayed
with Jews. Skin colour was covered by the ash of the burning towers.
This is a different country than it was a week ago. We’re not as self-centred
as we were. We’re not as self-reliant as we were. Hands are out. Knees
are bent. This is not normal! And I have to ask the question, do we want
to get back to normal? Are we being given a glimpse of a new way of
life? Are we being reminded that the enemy is not each other and the
power is not in ourselves and the future is not in our bank accounts?
Could this unselfish way of life be the way we were intended to live all
along? Maybe this is the way we are called to live. And perhaps the best
response to this tragedy is to refuse to go back to normal!”
What Max Lucado says makes a lot of sense. The
attack on the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon was a horrible thing.
But perhaps it will open our eyes. President Bush vowed to put an end to
all forms of terrorism. Maybe now when a school yard bully beats up on
an innocent victim, he will be expelled from the school and never
allowed to return. Maybe now when a person breaks into someone’s home
he will be put in jail for a long time and not be given 15 chances to
prove that he cannot be rehabilitated. Maybe now when a person steals a
car he will be locked up instead of tapped on the wrist and told not to
be such a bad boy. Terrorism does not just exist in the hills of
Afghanistan! We are all victims of terrorism, every day of our life! Are
you afraid to leave your car unlocked in a parking lot? In your driveway
overnight? Are you afraid of viruses sent through the internet by idiots
attempting to destroy your computer? Are you afraid to walk alone
downtown at night? Do you let your children talk to strangers? Would you
leave your child alone in a crowded shopping centre? Why do we demand
police checks for teachers? Coaches? Social workers?
When President Bush put out a call to stamp out
all forms of terrorism in the world, he was not only referring to Osama
bin Ladin. He was making reference to all forms of terrorism - large and
small - that are faced by everyday people all over the world. He was
also taking aim on all people who harbour terrorists - including people
who continually find excuses for those who violate the rights and
freedoms of ordinary people. It is time to force all “terrorists” to
face the consequences of their actions. The school yard bully runs
scared when the rest of the children join forces and attack instead of
running away. We may not put down all of the bullies in this world, but
at least we can begin by putting an end to terrorism in our own back
yard. It is time for the good people of the world to stop cowering and
living in fear of terrorists. It is time to attack terrorism where it
begins - right in our own back yard!
Whenever something bad happens, something good
usually follows which would not have happened if not for the bad event.
Perhaps the change in attitude we are experiencing is this good thing,
and as stated by Max Lucado, perhaps the best response to this tragedy
is to refuse to go back to normal.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
October 3, 2001
Just One of Those Stories That Touch The Heart
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Once
in a while I come across a story that doesn’t seem to relate to
anything in particular, but on the other hand seems to say something
profound in a very heartwarming style. Usually I like to make reference
to a specific topic, but this time I just want to share the story with
you because it touched my heart in an unusual way. It is called
“Flowers on the Bus” and was written by a lady by the name of Jean
Hendrickson.
“We were a very motley crowd of people who
took the bus every day that summer, 33 years ago. During the early
morning ride from the suburb, we sat drowsily with our collars up to our
ears, a cheerless and taciturn bunch. One of the passengers was a small
grey man who took the bus to the centre for senior citizens every
morning. He walked with a stoop and a sad look on his face. Every day,
with some difficulty, he boarded the bus and sat down alone behind the
driver. No one ever paid very much attention to him.
Then one July morning he broke the silence on
the bus when he cheerily said good morning to the driver and smiled
short-sightedly at all of us before he sat down. The driver nodded
guardedly. The rest of us were silent.
The next day, the old man boarded the bus
energetically, smiled and said in a loud voice: “And a very good
morning to you all!” Some of us looked up, amazed, and murmured
“Good morning,” in reply.
The following weeks we were more alert. Our
friend was now dressed in a nice old suit and a wide out-of-date tie.
The thin hair had been carefully combed. He said good morning to us
every day and we gradually began to nod and talk to each other. Soon the
once silent bus was filled with chatter and laughter as the old man’s
cheerfulness rubbed off on all of us.
One morning he had a bunch of wild flowers in
his hand. They were already dangling a little because of the heat. The
driver turned around smilingly and asked, “Have you got yourself a
girlfriend, Charlie?”. We never got to know if his name really was
“Charlie”, but he nodded shyly and said yes.
The other passengers whistled and clapped at
him. Charlie bowed and waved the flowers before he sat down on his seat.
Every morning after that Charlie always brought a flower. Some of the
regular passengers began bringing him flowers for his bouquet, gently
nudged him and said, shyly, “Here.” Everyone smiled. The men started
to jest about it, talk to each other, and share the newspaper.
The summer went by, and autumn was closing in,
when one morning Charlie wasn’t waiting at his usual stop. When he
wasn’t there the next day and the day after that, we started wondering
if he was sick or – hopefully – on holiday somewhere.
When we came nearer to the centre for senior
citizens, one of the passengers asked the driver to wait. We all held
our breaths when she went to the door.
Yes, the staff said, they knew who we were
talking about. The elderly gentleman was fine, but he hadn’t been
coming to the centre that week. One of his very close lady friends had
died on the weekend. They expected him back on Monday. How silent we
were the rest of the way to work.
The next Monday, Charlie was waiting at the
stop, stooping a bit more, a little bit more grey, and without a tie. He
seemed to have shrunk a bit again and lacked the energy he had before.
Inside the bus was an eery silence akin to that in a church. Even though
no one had talked about it, all those of us who he had made such an
impression on that summer, sat with our eyes filled with tears and a
bunch of wild flowers in our hands.”
Each of us can name a person who makes us feel
alive and happy when they are around. Happiness is contagious. All of
the passengers on the bus in the story were miserable every morning on
their way to work. All it took was one old man saying hello and showing
that he had a zest for life to change the mood on the bus from one of
sombreness to one of joy and delight. People no longer dreaded the ride
to work, but rather looked forward to it.
Next time you find yourself among a group of
people who are in a depressed state, try to liven things up with a
little bit of happiness. See how quickly others join in and lift
themselves up. All it takes is one person. Be that person.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
September 26, 2001
Your Decision - Change Your Focus or Remain Captive
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Have
you ever come up against a problem that you just couldn’t solve? Where
it felt like you were simply banging your head against a brick wall -
over and over and over again - without making any “headway”? Sure
you have. And can you remember how you finally came up with a solution?
You most likely took a step back and approached the problem from a
different angle, with a new focus which enabled you to find a simple
solution which was there all along. Consider the lesson of the moth
which was discovered in Joe Lake’s garage one day. As Joe was
preparing to travel to his office, he opened the garage door and
startled a large moth which immediately tried to escape by flying to the
circle-topped window of the door. It tried frantically to exit through
the invisible wall of closed glass. Joe tried raising the garage door
higher in hopes of aiding it’s escape. That caused it to fly higher
and become entangled in a spider web. Fearful that it would remain
entangled in the web, Joe took a long-handled broom to assist him in
helping the moth escape the tangled threads. The moth then returned to
furiously pumping his wings and banging into the glass, which was, in
his perspective, the pathway of escape, but instead, the moth remained
captive. By simply turning his focus to one side, he would have easily
exited his prison. Rather, due to his intent on one direction, he
remained confined, captive and perhaps doomed.
People are quite the same as the moth in this
story. Too often we come across individuals who are so sure of them self
that they refuse to change their focus. The would rather continue in one
direction without changing focus or giving consideration to other
alternatives. How often we have witnesses failure, when a simple change
of direction would have resulted in success.
It is very much like the old farmer who had
plowed around a large rock in one of his fields for years. He had broken
several plowshares and a cultivator on it and had grown rather morbid
about the old rock. After breaking another plowshare one day, and
remembering all the trouble the rock had caused him through the years,
he finally decided to do something about it. When he put the crowbar
under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six
inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer.
As he was carting the pieces away he had to smile, remembering all the
trouble that the rock had caused him over the years and how easy it
would have been to get rid of it sooner.
Next time you find yourself facing a “brick
wall”, before you spend too much time banging your head needlessly
against it, remember the moth banging into the glass. Remember the
farmer who finally decided to put a crowbar under the rock and
discovered a simple solution. Try to change directions and refocus on
the problem. By approaching the problem from a different direction and
viewpoint, the solution may be easier than you thought.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
September 19, 2001
The Dark Candle
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It
is hard to avoid commenting on the tragic events which occurred last
week in the United States. How can anyone take part in such a senseless
act and murder thousands of innocent victims? How will the civilized
world we know ever be the same? What will be done
in retaliation to get even? The answers to these and many more
questions will haunt us for years to come, until the next senseless act
of violence generates even more questions about mankind.
In searching for a way to make sense out of all
this, I decided to adapt a story which was written by a man named
Strickland Gillilan. See if it helps.
A man had a little daughter. She was an only
and much-beloved child. He lived for her. She was his whole life. One
day while she was at school, a deranged man broke into the building and
began shooting wildly. He then turned the gun on himself and took his
own life. When the casualties were examined, the man’s little daughter
was among the dead. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a
bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing
every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his
normal self. He hated the world and everything about it. It was not fair
that his innocent daughter, who never hurt anyone, was a victim of this
senseless act. Why did it have to happen to her? What could he have done
to prevent it? Who was to blame? How could he ever get even with the man
who shot his daughter?
Then one night he had a dream. He was in
Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child
angels. They were marching in an apparent endless line past the Great
White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed
that one child’s candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child
with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the
pageant hesitated, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and
then asked, “How is it, darling that your candle alone is
unlighted?” She answered, “Father, they often relight it, but your
tears always put it out.”
Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson
was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he
was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former
friends and associates. No longer would his little darling’s candle be
extinguished by his useless tears.
And so it is with us today. We will never be
able to understand how anyone could take the lives of so many people at
the World Trade Centre and at the US Pentagon. What would make a person
deliberately murder so many unsuspecting individuals who have done
nothing to hurt them? And yet, we must move on and continue our lives in
a positive manner. We must not let our lives be governed by hatred and
fear. It is important for the loved ones who were lost that we not lose
our own lives as a result of their death. Yes, we must deal with the
situation and hand out punishment which is appropriate. But what is done
is done and cannot be changed.
The lesson of the dark candle is something we
can apply to our own situations closer to home. While certainly not on
the same scale of the events of last week, even a single, senseless
death can be devastating. A car accident; a mysterious disease; a heart
attack; or some other tragic event may have taken away someone you loved
dearly. Make sure your tears do not put out the candle of your loved
one. Honour their death in the only way you can - by continuing to live
your own life with the same passion and zeal as always, in loving memory
of those who have gone before us.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
September 12, 2001
Be Careful Which Memories You Engrave In Stone
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Most of us have been in a situation with a
friend where we felt deeply hurt by something the friend did or said. I
have known people who were childhood friends who never spoke to each
other again after one of these incidents. I have also known other
friends who could never do anything which would destroy their
friendship. What is it that makes some friendships endure pain, while
others crumble?
To get to the answer, I came upon a little story
about two friends who were walking through the desert. At one point in
the journey, they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one
in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying
anything, he wrote in the sand, “TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN
THE FACE”.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis,
where they decided to take a swim. The one who got slapped and hurt,
started drowning, and the other friend saved him. When he recovered from
the fright, he wrote on a stone: “TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY
LIFE”.
The friend who had first slapped and then saved
his best friend asked him, “Why, after I hurt you, did you write in
the sand, and now after I save you, you write on a stone?”
The other friend, smiling, replied: “When a
friend hurts us, we should write it down in the sand, where the winds of
forgiveness are in charge of erasing it away. When something great
happens, we should engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart,
where no wind can erase it.”
Perhaps that is the secret to a long-lasting
friendship! Perhaps it is also the secret to a long-lasting marriage, or
any other partnership in which we find ourselves! When someone we love
or care deeply about does something to hurt us, we should consider it a
temporary set-back in our relationship and forget it as quickly as the
wind would erase writing in the sand. There is no point in dwelling on
the problem, for that would only cause it to fester and could eventually
ruin the friendship. However, whenever something good happens in the
relationship, it should be recorded permanently so that we keep it first
and foremost in our memories. That is why photos are so popular. They
remind us of the good times.
Another
humourous, but revealing story was told
to me recently which gives us a clear example of how to tell who your
true friends are.
Two men were travelling together when a bear
suddenly met them on their path. One of the men climbed up quickly into
a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he
would soon be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the bear came
up and felt him with his snout, he held his breath and pretended to be
dead. The bear soon left him, for it is said that a bear will not touch
a dead body. When the bear was gone, the other traveller descended from
the tree and jokingly asked what it was that the bear had whispered in
his ear.
“He gave me this advice,” his companion
replied. “Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach
of danger.”
We must all learn to write in the sand if our
friendships are to survive the test of time. Next time a friend hurts
you, record the incident in sand so that it disappears from memory
quickly. However, next time a friend does something especially nice for
you, make sure you record it someplace where you will be reminded of it
often, so that you never forget how very important that friend is to
you.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
September 5, 2001
"Always Be Kind To Strangers, For You May Be
Entertaining Angels Without Knowing It"
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The
first week of school is always an exciting time of year for a community.
Parents are anxious to have their children return to the daily routine,
but they are also hopeful that the school year will be a rewarding
experience for their youngsters. Children are looking forward to
starting fresh with new books, new clothes and a new teacher.
But the first week of school can also be a very
stressful time if you are a newcomer to the community. Each class
contains a few children who have moved into the area during the summer
or who have transferred from a different school. For these boys and
girls, the first day of school can be the scariest and loneliest
experience they have ever faced.
As a teacher, you always wonder how the rest of
the children will “take to” the new kids. Will the new kids “fit
in” with the others, or will “the group” make him/her feel
uncomfortable?
Each year, however, there is always at least
one or two of the students in the class who step forward to show
kindness to the new children. They will take the new child out to
recess; help get books organized; familiarize them with the rules of
the school; and genuinely make they feel welcome in their new
environment. It never fails. There is always one or two in every class
who reaches out. From a teacher’s perspective, it warms the heart to
watch this act of kindness. From an adult’s perspective, it should
bring tears to the eyes knowing that your own children have the heart
and compassion to show that they care about these “strangers”.
I want to share a story with you that reminds
me a lot about this very thing. It is a lesson for all of us that we
should welcome strangers and show kindness, even when it is not expected
or required. The story is told by an elderly man who was recalling an
incident that involved his mother when he was young.
“It was fifty years ago, on a hot summer day,
in the deep south. We lived on a dirt road, on a sand lot. We were, what
was known as "dirt poor". I had been playing outside all
morning in the sand. Suddenly, I heard a sharp clanking sound behind me
and looking over my shoulder, my eyes were drawn to a strange sight!
Across the dirt road were two rows of men, dressed in black and white,
striped, baggy uniforms. Their faces were covered with dust and sweat.
They looked so weary, and they were chained together with huge, black,
iron chains. Hanging from the end of each chained row was a big, black,
iron ball. They were, as polite people said in those days, a "Chain
Gang," guarded by two, heavily armed, white guards. I stared at the
prisoners as they settled uncomfortably down in the dirt, under the
shade of some straggly trees. One of the guards walked towards me.
Nodding as he passed, he went up to our front door and knocked. My
mother appeared at the door, and I heard the guard ask if he could have
permission to get water from the pump, in the backyard, so that
"his men" could "have a drink". My mother agreed,
but I saw a look of concern on her face, as she called me inside. I
stared through the window as each prisoner was unchained from the line,
to hobble over to the pump and drink his fill from a small tin cup,
while a guard watched vigilantly. It wasn't long before they were all
chained back up again, with prisoners and guards retreating into the
shade, away from an unrelenting sun. I heard my mother call me into the
kitchen, and I entered, to see her bustling around with tins of tuna
fish, mayonnaise, our last loaf of bread, and two, big, pitchers of
lemonade. In what seemed "a blink of an eye", she had made a
tray of sandwiches using all the tuna we were to have had for that
night's supper. My mother was smiling as she handed me one of the
pitchers of lemonade, cautioning me to carry it "carefully"
and to "not spill a drop." Then, lifting the tray in one hand
and holding a pitcher in her other hand, she marched me to the door,
deftly opening it with her foot, and trotted me across the street. She
approached the guards, flashing them with a brilliant smile. "We
had some leftovers from lunch," she said, "and I was wondering
if we could share with you and your men." She smiled at each of the
men, searching their dark eyes with her own eyes of "robin's egg
blue." Everyone started to their feet. "Oh no!" she said.
"Stay where you are! I'll just serve you!" Calling me to her
side, she went from guard to guard, then from prisoner to prisoner --
filling each tin cup with lemonade, and giving each man a sandwich. It
was very quiet, except for a "thank you, ma'am," and the
clanking of the chains. Very soon we were at the end of the line, my
mother's eyes softly scanning each face. The last prisoner was a big
man, his dark skin pouring with sweat, and streaked with dust. Suddenly,
his face broke into a wonderful smile, as he looked up into my mother's
eyes, and he said, "Ma'am, I've wondered all my life if I'd ever
see an angel, and now I have! Thank you!" Again, my mother's smile
took in the whole group. "You're all welcome!" she said.
"God bless you." Then we walked across to the house, with
empty tray and pitchers, and back inside. Soon, the men moved on, and I
never saw them again. The only explanation my mother ever gave me, for
that strange and wonderful day, was, “Remember, always, to entertain
strangers, for by doing so, you may entertain angels, without
knowing."
Then, with a mysterious smile, she went about
the rest of the day.
I don't remember what we ate for supper, that
night. I just know it was served by an angel.”
I can’t remember who coined the phrase, “A
stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet”. We all meet
strangers every day. There are some who are easy to reach out to and
show signs of friendship, but there are also others who look different
and may even act differently from us. Unless you reach out to these
“strangers” you have no chance of becoming friends. The children in
the class who reach out to the newcomers are just like the lady in the
story. They don’t have to show kindness to the new kids. They can just
continue doing their own thing and keep to their existing friends. But
for some reason, they still step forward and make the new boys and girls
feel comfortable. And that makes all the difference in the world.
Next time you come across a stranger who could
use some kindness, remember, “always entertain strangers, for by doing
so, you may entertain angels, without knowing.”
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
August 29, 2001
Parents Responsible For Putting An End To Wild
House-Parties
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The
entire community of Valley East is still in shock as a result of the
tragic accident which took place on Deschene Road in the early hours of
March 11, 2001. Andrew Chaput, a 16 year old boy with a great future had
all that come to an end as his life was suddenly ended when struck by a
motorist while he and three other friends were walking along the road.
Candice Kirkbride, 15, was also hit by the vehicle and has been
recovering from serious injuries ever since.
Since the accident, several charges have been
laid by police, and recently, one conviction has been handed down. It is
the conviction which has many parents scratching their heads. Butch
Woodbury, 34, has been found guilty of illegally selling liquor and
selling liquor to persons under the age of 19. Woodbury’s common-law
spouse, Tammy James, has had the charges against her dropped. For
Woodbury, the conviction has resulted in a 30-day jail term, which is to
be served on weekends.
How and why the actual accident took place and
who was at fault will be left to the courts.
Details which have come about since the tragic
night seem to indicate that the party was well organized, well
publicized and extremely well-attended. Reports of over 200 people and
cars parked up and down the road way have been confirmed. However, this
was not just a normal party. Admission was charged and alcohol was made
available for sale by a person who has been subsequently found guilty of
the charges.
This was not the first time that a large house
party has been held in Valley East, nor will it be the last.
Unfortunately, the mere planning of a party can result in trouble once
the word gets out. We’ve
all heard countless stories about how teenagers had planned a small
house party only to find that dozens of others showed up uninvited.
These gatherings almost always include fights, drunkenness, drugs, sex
and usually ended up causing thousands of dollars of damage to the
property of the home-owner. The wild parties become the talk of the town
the following week, almost like a status symbol for the kids who took
part. Kids are almost embarrassed to let it be known that they missed
the event and quickly make plans to join in during the upcoming weekend
schedule. Indeed, many teenagers are afraid to invite their friends over
for a small party for fear of the word getting out to the rest of the
kids around town. And heaven forbid if the kids around town find out
that the parents are not going to be at home.
Young people today have been taught over and
over again in school about the dangers of drinking or taking drugs.
Police officers have made presentations; units of study have been
covered from as early as Grade 4; posters are plastered everywhere in
schools and at youth centres; and yet, all of this seems to be forgotten
when kids get together in large groups and allow themselves to lose self
control for a few hours in the name of fun. Most of them return home
after the party and change right back into the responsible boys and
girls they were before going out. In fact, many parents reading this
article most likely are counting their blessings that their own
children, who were among the hundreds to attend the party on March 11,
returned unharmed. So what happens during those few hours?
I’m not sure if these wild parties can ever
be stopped. Word always gets out on the street when a kid “has the
house”. As the news spreads of the location of a place where kids can
“hang out” for a few beer and some drugs, the house becomes a
magnet. Often, once enough damage is done to one house, the gang heads
off to another location to continue the night of destruction. The more
damage that can be done in one night, the better the conversation the
following day.
Adults in the community should not be shocked
by this news! Talk to your teenage sons and daughters and ask if they
are aware of wild parties that have been held around town. Talk to some
of the parents who have had to pay thousands of dollars to repair
damages following one of these events. Talk to your kids about how often
they have heard of kids driving while drunk and bragging about it to
their friends on Monday morning.
Perhaps these parties are merely a fact of
life. Perhaps it is all about growing up. Perhaps they are something
that cannot be prevented and we will just have to live with them, hoping
that our children will survive without getting hurt.
If that car had missed the group walking along
Deschene Road on Sunday morning, this would have been just another wild
Saturday night in Valley East. The organizer of the party, Butch
Woodbury would not be serving 30 days in jail on the weekends. Ten
defendants would not be facing lawsuits totalling nearly $10 million.
How heartbreaking it is that but for a split second or a quick turn of
the wheel, we have lost the life of Andrew Chaput, a boy who had such a
promising future. How heartbreaking that Candice Kirkbride and her
family will have to suffer mentally and physically for the rest of their
lives. Let us hope that the crowd of kids who gathered at the house
party that night learn from this tragedy. Let us also hope that parents
have learned to say “NO” when it comes to the organization of a
“small” house-party by their children when they are not at home.
“Small” house parties tend to grow very quickly when the word gets
out - and you can bet your bottom dollar that the word will get out! Let
us also hope that parents have learned to say “NO” when their
children want to attend one of these house parties. Your child may be
embarrassed if you drive him/her to the party and ask to speak to the
parents, but a bit of embarrassment is easy to get over.
The beginning of a new school year is always
considered to be a “party-time” as kids prepare to return to school
and get a chance to see all of their friends again.
Let’s make sure that we don’t have a repeat
of what happened on March 11.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
August 22, 2001
Of Course We All Want What Is Best For Our Children!
But How Do We Know If We Are On The Right Track?
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It
is so very difficult being a young parent! While I am not there yet, I
can see that it must be equally difficult being a grandparent, watching
your own children raise your grandchildren. How do you step in and give
advice to your children on how to be a parent? How can you give them
some of your wisdom which was likely learned the hard way as you were
raising them?
Paul Harvey wrote a very heartwarming article
which was intended to be his message to grandchildren. If you are a
parent, you will no doubt get the messages he is trying to get across.
Read his wishes carefully. I am sure you will find them thought
provoking. The passage is simply entitled, “Love.”
“We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them
worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them
to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover
meat loaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being
humiliated.
I
hope that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make
your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. I really hope nobody
gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at
least one time you can see puppies born, And your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I
hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all
right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when
he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope
you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants
to tag along, I hope you'll let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to
school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it
safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't
ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding
with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your
Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn
to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I
hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get
teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl.
I
hope that when you talk back to your mother you learn what Ivory soap
tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain,
Burn
your hand on a stove And stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't
care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a
friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your
friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa
and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy
during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a
baseball through your neighbour's window.
I
hope that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give
her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough
times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only
way to appreciate life. I hope, finally, that you learn early in life
that we secure our friends, not by accepting favours, but by doing
them.”
Being
a parent is the most difficult job in the world. I hope that Paul Harvey
has helped in some small way to make this job a little easier for you.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
August 15, 2001
Community Celebrations Touch The Soul In Ways That Many Of
Us Find Hard To Express
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In
this issue of The Vision Paper, you will find articles on the Valley
East Days and Capreol Days celebrations. Both are annual events which
cover four days and are an attempt by some very hard-working volunteers
to generate community spirit among local residents. There are many who
attend the events and enjoy the activities. There are many who stay home
or find other things to do instead. A community celebration is something
that we should all hold dear to our heart and we would do well to
support the volunteer organizations in their efforts, for they give us
something that is far more than mere entertainment. The problem is that
many of us may never realize just how these celebrations touch our soul.
As I was searching for a way to describe what I meant by that statement,
fate had me stumble across a little article entitled, “The Shoes”. I
am not sure who wrote the article,
but I am sure that once you read it you will understand what I am
trying to say. Regardless of who we are or what our station in life,
there are times when we jump to conclusions and make wrong assumptions,
only to have something incredible happen that touches our very soul. See
how Sam was touched by the stranger.
Sam’s
alarm went off. It was Sunday morning and he was tired. It was his one
day to sleep in but the guilt he would have felt the rest of the day
would have been too much to take, so he got up, showered and shaved,
adjusted his suit and tie and arrived at Church just in time to swing
into his usual pew before the service began. He bowed his head in prayer
and then noticed that the shoe of the man next to him was touching his
shoe. Sam thought, “There is plenty of room on either side, so why do
our shoes have to touch?” Nevertheless, the stranger’s shoe was
glued to Sam’s but it didn’t seem to bother the stranger too much.
As the prayers began, Sam wondered, “Does this man with the shoes have
no pride?” The stranger’s shoes were dusty, worn, scratched end to
end and there were even holes on the side.
The
minister’s words echoed, “Thank you for your blessings.” The
stranger said a quiet, “Amen”, but try as he may, Sam could only
focus on the stranger’s shoes. “Aren’t we supposed to look our
best when we walk through that door?” As he looked at the shoes, Sam
thought that if that was the case, the stranger certainly didn’t care
how he looked.
As the
prayer ended, songs of praise filled the room. The stranger was loud,
sounding proud as he sang. He lifted the rafters, his hands raised high!
Then the basket was passed around so that they could give an offering.
Sam threw in his usual large amount. The stranger reached deep into his
pockets, and tried to see what he pulled out to put in. Then a soft
clink was heard as the coin dropped into the basket.
The
sermon bored Sam to tears. It must have bored the stranger as well since
there were also tears in his eyes. At the end of the service, as was the
custom in this parish, Sam turned to the stranger and wished him well.
Sam shook his hand. The stranger was old, his skin dark, his hair a
mess. Sam thanked the stranger for coming and being their guest. The
stranger said, “My name is Charlie. Glad to meet you my friend.” It
was then that Sam noticed tears in Charlie’s eyes, but he also had a
wide grin.
“Let me
explain,” Charlie said, wiping his eyes. “I’ve been coming here
for months, and you’re the first to ever speak to me. I know I don’t
look like all the rest, but I do try to look my best. I polish my shoes
before my long walk, but by the time I get here they’re as dirty as
chalk.”
By now,
Sam’s heart had fallen to his knees, but he managed to hold back the
tears.
Charlie
continued, “I must apologize for sitting so near, but I know when I
get here I must look terrible and I thought that if I touched you, our
souls might unite.”
Sam stood
in silence. He knew that anything he said would pale in comparison.
Tears were flowing from Sam’s eyes now as he said quietly, “Oh,
you’ve touched me. And taught me that the best of a man is what is in
his heart.” As the two parted company, Sam thought to himself that
Charlie would never know how thankful he was that Charlie had touched
his soul that morning.
And so it is with Valley East Days and Capreol
Days. As we take part in the activities and events with our neighbours
and friends, we celebrate more than a weekend of summer fun. We
celebrate life with friends and strangers. We celebrate our heritage and
we celebrate our humanity. We will meet many “strangers” who will
look different and act different and come from different backgrounds,
but we will also touch many souls during the weekend. Don’t make the
mistake that Sam made. Look deep into the heart of the “strangers”
you meet this weekend. Look beyond their appearance and discover the
“community” that lies within.
On behalf of all local residents, let me thank
all volunteers who work so hard to bring us Valley East Days and Capreol
Days, and all other community celebrations. We may not show it, but your
efforts have touched the souls of each of us. Thank you and may we go
forth into the future with a new spirit of community with all of our
“friends”.
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
August 8, 2001
Do You Know Where Your Children Are? They Are Watching
Everything You Do!
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Parenting
is an art! Ask any mother or father and they will quickly tell you that
there is nothing that fully prepares you for the role but there is also
no job in the world that is more satisfying. You can purchase any one of
the hundreds of books on parenting written for the most part by authors
who themselves have been parents. But when all is said and done, and all
of your strategies and plans have been put into action, your children
will be influenced mostly be one thing and one thing only!
No matter how many educational toys you buy, or
how many books you read, your children are watching you and doing as you
do, not as you say!
Let me illustrate with a little article that
was sent to me recently. It is written from the point of view of a
child. See if this could have been your child.
“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw
you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted
to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you
put peanuts out for the squirrels, and I learned that it was good to be
kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you
make my favourite cake for me and I learned that the little things can
be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard
you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to
and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you
make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we
all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you
give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned
that those who have something should give to those who don’t.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you
take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take
care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how
you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good and
I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw
tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but
it’s all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that
you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned
most of life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive
person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked
at you and wanted to say, “Thanks for all the things I saw when you
thought I wasn’t looking.”
Each of us must always remember that it’s the
things we do when we think no one is watching that influence others the
most. And believe me, your children see everything. They may not see
their toys that have to be picked up; or the dishes that have to be put
in the sink; or the bed that wasn’t made; or the socks on the floor;
but they see what you are doing and how you handle yourself in
situations. Children want direction, and they certainly are given
direction from parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. But the lessons
they learn are from what parents, teachers and grandparents do, not what
they say.
So remember to keep in mind, no matter what you
are doing, that someone is watching. Make sure that what you do or say
is something you would want your children to follow, and not
surprisingly, life will seem a whole lot more worthwhile!
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
August 1, 2001
Is There Anyone You Want To Thank Today?
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Now
that we have arrived at the half-way point of the summer vacation
period, this may be just the time to do something you quite possibly
have been putting off for a long time. Can you think of someone who has
done something for you, either recently or over a long period of time,
that you haven’t really and truly thanked? What about the person who
helped you push your car out of the ditch? What about the person who
coached your child this summer or last winter? What about the grocery
store clerk who always has time to give you a smile? What about the
receptionist who always manages to squeeze in your appointment at the
last minute?
We live in such a fast-paced world that special moments often speed
by without giving us time to express our real gratitude and appreciation
to caring people who have touched our life. The moment passes and we
move on to the next thing right away. The act of kindness meant a lot to
us at the time, but as time moves on it seems less and less significant,
especially to the person who showed us the kindness.
How wrong we are! Just think of the last time that someone thanked
you for doing them a small favour. Think about how it made you feel to
have someone send you a little note, or phone you, or email you, or give
you a special hug and a smile to show their appreciation. Think about
how it made you feel when this expression of gratitude came some time
after the event. It often means a lot more to receive a thank you after
the fact because it shows that the person still thinks about what you
did even after the passing of time. Now that you know how good it made
you feel to receive a belated "thank you", remember that
everyone else feels the same way.
This fact was driven home to me recently when I came across the
following story:
A man by the name of William Stidger taught at Boston University. He
once reflected upon the great number of un-thanked people in his life.
These were people who had helped nurture him, inspire him or who cared
enough about him to leave a lasting impression. Once of these people was
a school teacher he’d not heard of in many years. But he remembered
that she had gone out of her way to put a love of verse in him, and Will
had loved poetry all his life. He wrote a letter of thanks to her. The
reply he received, written in the feeble scrawl of the aged, began
"My Dear Willie:" He was delighted. Now over 50, bald and a
professor, he didn’t think there was a person left in the world who
would call him "Willie". Here is that letter:
"My Dear Willie,
I cannot tell you how much your note meant to me. I am in my
eighties, living alone in a small room, cooking my own meals, lonely,
and, like the rest of autumn, lingering behind. You will be interested
to know that I taught school for 50 years and yours is the first note of
appreciation I ever received. It came on a blue-cold morning and it
cheered me as nothing has in many years."
Not prone to cry easily, William Stidger wept over that note. She was
one of the great un-thanked people from Will’s past.
We all have people like Will’s school teacher in our life. The
teacher who made a difference. The coach we will never forget. The nurse
who cared for us after the accident. The best friend we haven’t seen
for years. We all remember people who shaped our lives in various ways -
some small and some big - but each had an impact on who we are today.
After Will Stidger received the reply from his school teacher, he
realized that he could no longer leave people un-thanked. He also
realized that by thanking these people and showing them that he really
did care about what they had done, he in turn may be doing something
very significant for them.
So as you are sitting around relaxing for the rest of the summer,
spend some time thinking about some of the un-thanked people from your
past. It may not be too late to say thank you. You have no idea how much
your words will mean.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
July 18, 2001
The Echo of Life
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Many
people alive today feel that the world owes them something simply
because they exist. For those people, the lessons of life can be a
bitter pill to swallow until they realize that life always gives you
back what you give out! If you give out very little, you get back very
little. If you give a lot, you get back a lot. To illustrate what I
mean, read the following little story.
One day a man and his son were walking in the
forest. Suddenly the boy tripped and upon feeling a sharp pain,
screamed, “Ahhhhhh!”
To his surprise, he heard a voice coming from
the mountain, “Ahhhhhh!”
Filled with curiosity, he screamed, “Who are
you?” But the only answer he received was, “Who are you?”
This made him very angry, so he screamed again,
“You are a coward!” And the voice answered back, “You are a
coward!”
He looked at his father and asked, “Dad, what
is going on?”
“Son”, the man replied, “Pay
attention!”
Then he screamed, “I admire you!”
The voice answered, “I admire you!”
The father shouted, “You are wonderful!”
And the voice answered, “You are wonderful.”
The boy was surprised, but still couldn’t
understand what was going on. The father explained, “People call this
‘Echo’, but truly it is ‘Life’. Life always gives you back what
you give out. Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love,
give more love. If you want more kindness, give more kindness. If you
want understanding and respect, give understanding and respect. If you
want people to be patient and respectful to you, give patience and
respect. This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives. Life
always gives you back what you give out. Your life is not a coincidence,
but a mirror of your own doings.”
What a tremendous lesson. One, unfortunately,
which is learned very late in life. If you want to achieve success, you
must aim high and work towards your goals. You must not let failure get
in your way or discourage you, but instead be mindful of the
opportunities that come up while you are on your journey. If you do
nothing, these opportunities will not come your way. If you put
something out, it will come back.
For example, to illustrate this point, consider
the two brothers who
decided to dig a deep hole behind their house. As they were working, a
couple of older boys stopped by to watch. “What are you doing?”
asked one of the visitors.
“We plan to dig a hole all the way through
the earth!” one of the brothers volunteered excitedly.
The older boys began to laugh, telling the
younger ones that digging a hole all the way through the earth was
impossible. After a long silence, one of the diggers picked up a jar
full of spiders, worms and a wide assortment of insects. He removed the
lid and showed the wonderful contents to the scoffing visitors. Then he
said quietly and confidently, “Even if we don’t dig all the way
through the earth, look what we found along the way!”
Sure, the goal of the younger brothers was far
too ambitious, but the goal helped them start digging. And once they
started digging, they discovered a lot of wonderful things along the
way. We can all take a lesson from the brothers. While not all of our
goals will be achieved; nor every job end successfully; nor every
relationship be strong; nor every hope come to pass; nor every love
last; nor every dream be realized; we can all take heart in the fact
that we will certainly find many great things along the way all because
we tried to do something.
As we go about our business during the next
several days, let us all remember the “Echo of Life”. Life always
gives back what you give out!
Have a
good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
A "Love" Story |
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Please
take a moment to read the following story which I had sent to me over
the internet.
Once upon a time there was an island where all
the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others,
including love. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the
island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings
prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She
wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.
When the island was almost totally under, love decided it was time to
leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness
was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come
with you on your boat?" Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but
there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room
for you anywhere." Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was
passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me
please." "I can't help you", Vanity said, " You are
all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness
passing by. Love said, " Sadness, please let me go with you."
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone
now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness,
please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he
didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a
voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an
elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the
elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and
asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time",
Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else
would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and
sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding
how great Love is."
Isn’t this so true. Most of us, at some point
in our life, have looked back and understood that we were treated with
great love and compassion by people who, at the time, seemed to be
anything but loving. The teacher in elementary school who was so hard on
you and with whom you were
always getting into trouble; a parent who would never let you stay out
as late as your friends; a grandparent who was still living in the dark
ages; a coach who was always on your case. There are many people who
demonstrate their love in different, strange ways which are disguised
until time takes away that disguise.
Next time, don’t be too quick to criticize the behaviour of
another. In time you may find out that it was really love.
I leave you with the following little
thoughts:
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At least five people in this world love you so much they
would die for you.
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At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
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The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they
want to be just like you.
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A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if
they don’t like you.
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Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to
sleep.
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You mean the world to someone.
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Without you, someone may not be living.
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You are special and unique, in your own way.
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Someone that you don’t know even exists, loves you.
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When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good
will come from it.
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When you think the world has turned its back on you, take
a look. You most likely turned your back on the world.
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When you think you have no chance at getting what you
want, you probably won’t get it. But if you believe in yourself, you
probably sooner or later will get it.
·
Always remember compliments you received. Forget about the
rude remarks.
·
Always tell someone how you feel about them. You will feel
much better when they know.
·
If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know
that they are great.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
July 4, 2001
Take Care of The Rocks First
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The
other night, as I was busily typing away at my computer, wondering where
the day had gone, I opened an email that was forwarded to me by my wife
from her computer. She has a way of finding these little stories and
sending them to me from time to time. Perhaps she has realized that it
is easier to communicate with me over the internet than in person. Who
says my life has become ruled by my computer. In any event, the
following story had a profound impact on me when I read it. It has now
become one of my all-time favourites and I would ask you to cut it out
and put it on your fridge or in your wallet where you can read it over
and over again as a reminder to set your priorities right.
“A philosophy
professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise
jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks which were all about two inches
in diameter, right up to the top. He than asked the students if the jar
was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then
picked up a box of small pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook
the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas
between the rocks. The students laughed. He asked his students again if
the jar was full? They agreed that yes, it was.
The professor then
picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand
filled up everything else.
“Now,” said the
professor, “the jar is full.”
He then emptied the
contents back on to the table and separated the rocks, the pebbles and
the sand. Then he placed the sand back into the jar. Next he placed the
pebbles back into the jar. Finally, he began to put the rocks back in
one at a time. By the time he reached the top and had run out of room,
he still had many of the rocks on the table.
“Now,” said the
professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks
are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your
children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost,
you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in your
life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things
like your job, your house, your car and things like that. They are
important to you but they can be replaced and are often replaced during
the course of your life. The sand is everything else - the small
stuff.”
The professor
continued, “If you put the sand and the pebbles into the jar first,
there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you
spend all your energy and time on the small stuff - material things -
you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.
Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out
dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give
a dinner party and fix the yard. Take care of the rocks first - the
things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles
and sand.”
We often get so hung
up on the sand and pebbles in life that we take the rocks for granted.
Our days are filled with so many activities and events that we feel are
important and critical, yet, in attempting to fill “our jars” with
sand and pebbles, the rocks are often overlooked. When your partner
suddenly asks for a divorce; when your children leave home; when your
doctor informs you that you have a dreaded disease; when you find
yourself all alone - only then do your realize how important these
“rocks” were in your life and only then do you ask yourself why you
didn’t spend more time taking care of the “rocks” instead of the
sand and pebbles.
Let this little story
be a reminder of how important it is to take care of the rocks first -
the things that really matter in life. The rest is just sand and
pebbles.
Have a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
June 27, 2001
Building A Strong and Productive Life Is As Simple As
Developing Strong And Productive Habits
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One
thing about life that everyone must agree is that regardless of one’s
age, we are all a “work in progress” which will never be totally
finished. Each of us is ever-changing as we encounter new experiences
and challenges on a daily basis. Therefore, when it comes to building a
strong and productive life, we can all take heart in the fact that we
can begin the construction at any stage of our life. As well, we can
also take heart in the fact that no matter how hard we try, because our
task will never be complete, we are able to make amendments to our
“life plan” whenever we discover a more satisfying path.
I
recently came across an article entitled, “Mastering Your Habits”,
written by a man called Steve Goodier. In it he pointed out that
habit starts out as a thread. As new threads are added, it becomes a
rope we cannot break. This means that we have to be careful about which
habits we adopt, because our habits eventually make us who we are. By
making strong and productive habits, we build strong and productive
lives.
Goodier
pointed out a list of habits that peak performance people share. If you
intend to have a successful life, it makes sense to examine what other
successful people have done in order to master theirs. You do not have
to be a CEO or a Chairman of the Board to benefit from studying
successful people. Their habits can be adopted by everybody who wishes
to lead a satisfying, productive lifestyle. Goodier felt that anybody
who works to develop the following traits will experience almost
instantaneous results. I invite you to study the habits and incorporate
them into your daily activities. This is one article that you should
keep handy and read often.
1.
People who master their lives are people who know what they want and are
willing to devote energy toward achieving it. They develop the habit of
writing their most important goals and reminding themselves of these
goals constantly.
2.
People who master their lives create healthy relationships. They get
along well with the people with whom they live and work. They give
special attention to their families.
3.
People who master their lives practice integrity. They habitually do
what is right, even when nobody will know. They live by self-imposed
principles.
4.
People who master their lives are honest about their strengths as well
as their weaknesses. They build on their strengths and work daily toward
self improvement.
5.
People who master their lives take care of their bodies. They exercise
regularly and eat sensibly. They receive proper medical treatment. They
tend not to smoke, they take drugs only as necessary and they limit
their alcohol intake.
6.
People who master their lives control their time. They take at least an
hour every day for personal time. They spend daily time with close
friends or family, and guard against spending too much time in areas
that are unimportant.
7.
People who master their lives understand their emotions. They don’t
leave emotional pain untreated. They know that healthy attitudes are as
essential as healthy behaviours. They develop a trusting and optimistic
outlook on life.
None
of the above habits are difficult to apply to our daily living. If we
follow them, they will be woven into a rope so strong that it cannot be
broken. When you master these habits, you will master your life. And
when you master your life you master your future.
Steve
Goodier isn’t saying anything we haven’t all heard before. But
perhaps, this time, you and I are more ready than ever to listen to the
advice and make a special effort to develop these habits. Read them over
again carefully and slowly. Read them every couple of days, especially
when you feel the stress of overbearing challenges. Know what you want
in life; create healthy relationships; do what is right; build on your
strengths; take care of your health; manage your time wisely; and always
have a positive outlook on life! This seems to be the key to unlocking
your future. Work on it today!
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
June 20, 2001
Puppies For Sale
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During
the course of the year I have the opportunity to meet a lot of wonderful
people who have dedicated their life to making things just a little
better for others. These are the people who work at fundraising events
to make money for special programs for the physically and mentally
challenged and for those in our society who are less fortunate.
Amazingly, I often find that the people who give the most, in terms of
time and money, are those who seem to need the most. When you attend a
fund raising event for the physically challenged, you meet physically
challenged people helping out with the organization and work. When
someone is collecting clothing and furniture to give to the needy, you
find that the people who donate the most are those who themselves have
been through some tough times. Instead of sitting back and waiting for
handouts, it appears as if the people who need the most help, are out
there willing to provide help to others.
This
reminded me of a story I once read about a store owner who was selling
puppies. He put a sign above his door and soon a little boy came in the
store and asked, ‘how much are you gonna sell those puppies for?”
The
store owner replied, “Anywhere from $30 to $50.”
The
little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. “I have
$2.37. Can I look at them?” The store owner smiled and whistled. Out
of the back of the store came his dog running down the aisle followed by
five little puppies. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.
Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy.
“What’s wrong with that little dog?” He asked.
The
man explained that when the puppy was born the vet said it had a bad hip
socket and would limp for the rest of its life. The little boy got
really excited and said, “That’s the puppy I want to buy!”
The
man replied, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you
really want him, I’ll give him to you.”
The
little boy got upset. He looked straight into the man’s eyes and said,
“I don’t want you to give him to me. He is worth every bit as much
as the other dogs and I’ll pay full price. In fact, I will give you
$2.37 now and 50 cents every month until I have him paid for.”
The
man countered, “You really don’t want to buy this puppy, son. He’s
never gonna be able to run, jump and play like other puppies.”
The
little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly
twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up
at the man and said, “Well, I don’t run so well myself and the
little puppy will need someone who understands.”
The
man was now biting his bottom lip. Tears welled up in his eyes. He
smiled and said, “Son, I hope and pray that each and every one of
these puppies will have an owner such as you.”
It
has often been said that in life it doesn’t matter who you are, but
whether someone appreciates you for what you are and accepts you and
loves you unconditionally. We all have our faults and weaknesses. We all
need someone who understands us for what we are and is willing to accept
us with those faults and weaknesses.
Just
as the boy said in the story, just because the little puppy was not as
capable of running and jumping like the others, it was worth just as
much. It’s physical challenges were something that it would have to
live with and learn to adapt to, but those physical challenges didn’t
mean that it was worthless. Some people may not be as physically or
mentally capable as others, but that doesn’t mean that they deserve to
be treated any differently or with sympathy from others. We have to
accept people for what they are, and love them unconditionally.
So
next time you meet someone who is “lagging behind the rest of
society”, remember that he or she is worth every bit as much as the
others. Treat that person as you would anyone else and give him or her
the respect they deserve.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
June 13, 2001
There is Much in The Show Window, But Nothing In The Stock
Room
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I
have always had a special place in my heart for Fathers’ Day. As the
father of three sons, I thank God every day for the blessings they have
brought upon my life and I will do everything possible to continue to
earn their respect until the day I die. Thus, I am sure, it is the same
with all fathers. This year, as I pondered about what to write as my
annual Fathers’ Day message, I came upon an essay which was written by
a Columbine High School student. His thoughts made me realize what we
Fathers’ have done during our time on this earth. It also made me
think about what we can do in the time we have remaining to correct some
of our mistakes. I want to share this essay with you, and as you read
it, place yourself in the shoes of the high school student who must now
live with the memory of seeing his friends and classmates shot to death
in a tragedy we will never be able to understand. He didn’t provide a
title to the essay, but I like to call it “Much in the Show Window,
But Nothing In the Stock Room”.
“The
paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but
shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
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We
spend more, but have less.
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We
buy more, but enjoy it less.
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We
have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less
time.
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We
have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less
judgment; more experts, but less solutions; more medicine, but less
wellness.
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We
have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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We
talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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We’ve
learned how to make a living, but not a life.
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We’ve
added years to life, not life to years.
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We’ve
been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the
street to meet the new neighbour.
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We’ve
conquered outer space, but not inner space.
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We’ve
cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
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We’ve
split the atom, but not our prejudice.
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We
have higher incomes, but lower morals.
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We’ve
become long on quantity, but short on quality.
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These
are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and
shallow relationships.
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These
are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure,
but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
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These
are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but
broken homes.
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It
is a time when there is much in the show window, but nothing in the
stock room.”
I
think many of us now realize that we put far too much time and energy
into making sure that our personal “Show Window” is very impressive.
We want others to think that everything is rosy and great in our life.
We put fancy cars and toys in our driveways; fur coats and expensive
clothing on our backs; take exotic vacations; spend freely on all kinds
of technology and material objects.
And
yet, our personal “Stock Room” remains empty of fulfilment and
satisfaction. Many of us seem to have everything in our “Show Room”,
yet we can’t understand why we are not happy. It is because our
“Stock Room” is empty.
This
Fathers’ Days is a good time for all fathers to check out their
personal “Stock Room”. If it is empty, see what you can do about
filling it. I want to end my editorial this week with a quotation from
Mark Twain that my wife gave me. It is taped above my computer so that I
can look at it every day.
“Twenty
years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t
do, than by the things you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away
from the safe harbour. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore!
Dream! Discover!”
Have
a very happy Fathers’ Day!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
June 6, 2001
A Sandpiper To Bring You Joy
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Have
you ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders - like your
problems were worse than everyone else’s? Where you just want to be
left alone to drown in your misery and you want to shut everyone out of
your life? The story I am about to share with you today is a true story,
written by a man by the name of Robert Peterson. It contains a reminder
to all of us that in the hustle and bustle of life our everyday traumas
can make us lose focus on what is truly important. Many of our problems
are only momentary setbacks and we should always be receptive to the
love of others around us who are reaching out to help us get over our
crisis while at the same time seeking help with theirs. When compared to
others, our problems are usually nothing. And all too often, we find out
afterwards that we could have done so much more if only we would have
known. Enjoy the story.
“She
was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I
drive to this beach whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was
building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as
the sea. “Hello,” she said. I answered with a nod, not really in the
mood to bother with a small child. “I’m building,” she said.
“I
see that. What is it?” I asked, not really caring.
“Oh,
I don’t know. I just like the feel of sand.” That sounds good I
thought, and slipped off my shoes. Just then a sandpiper glided by.
“That’s a joy,” the child said. “It’s a what?” I asked.
“It’s
a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.”
The
bird went gliding down the beach. “Good-bye joy,” I muttered to
myself, “Hello pain.” And I turned to walk on. I was depressed. My
life seemed completely out of balance.
“What’s
your name?” She wouldn’t give up.
“Robert,”
I answered. “Robert Peterson.”
“Mine’s
Wendy...I’m six.” “Hi Wendy.”
“You’re
funny,” she giggled. In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked
on. Her musical giggle followed me.
“Come
again, Mr. P.” she called. “We’ll have another happy day.
The
days and weeks that followed belonged to others: a group of unruly Boy
Scouts, PTA meetings and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one
morning as I took my hands out of the dishwasher. “I need a
sandpiper,” I thought to myself, gathering up my coat. The
ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly,
but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed. I had
forgotten the child and was startled when she appeared.
“Hello,
Mr. P.,” she said. “Do you want to play?”
“No,
I just want to walk” I said with a twinge of annoyance in my voice.
“Ok,
then let’s just walk,” she said and began to walk alongside me.
Looking
at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face. “Where do you
live?” I asked.
“Over
there,” she pointed toward a row of summer cottages.
Strange,
I thought, in winter. “Where do you go to school?”
“I
don’t go to school. Mommy says we’re on vacation.” She chattered
girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things.
When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling
surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed. Three weeks later, I
rushed to the beach in a state of near panic. I was in no mood to even
greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like
demanding she keep her child at home. “Look, if you don’t mind,” I
said crossly when Wendy came up to me, “I’d rather be alone
today.”
She
seemed unusually pale and out of breath. “Why?” she asked.
I
turned to her and shouted, “Because my mother died!” I thought My
God why was I saying this to a little child?
“Oh,”
she said quietly. “Then this is a bad day.”
“Yes,”
I said. “And yesterday and the day before and - oh, go away!”
“Did
it hurt?” she inquired. “Did what hurt?” I was exasperated with
her and with myself. “When she died?.” she asked. “Of course it
hurt!” I snapped, wrapped up in myself as I strode off.
A
month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t
there. Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I missed her, I
went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn
looking young woman with honey-coloured hair opened the door.
“Hello,” I said. “I’m Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl
today and wondered where she was.”
“Oh,
yes. Mr. Peterson. Please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I’m
afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please accept
my apologies.”
“Not
at all - she’s a delightful child,” I said, suddenly realizing that
I meant what I had just said.
“Wendy
died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn’t tell
you.” Dumb-struck, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.
“She loved this beach. So when she asked to come, we couldn’t say
no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called
“happy days”. But the last few weeks she declined rapidly...” her
voice faltered. “She left something for you...if I could only find it.
Could you wait for a moment while I look?”
I
nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely
young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with “Mr. P.” printed
in bold, childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues -
a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully
printed: “A Sandpiper To Bring You Joy.”
Tears
welled up in my eyes and a heart that had almost forgotten how to love
opened wide. I took Wendy’s mother in my arms. “I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” I muttered over and over and we wept
together.
The
precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words -
one for every year of her life - that speak to me of harmony, courage,
and undemanding love. A gift from a child with sea-blue eyes and hair
the colour of sand, who taught me the gift of love.”
Let
this story be a reminder to you that in this complicated life we live,
we should never lose focus of what is really important. Give your loved
ones an extra hug today. Spend a few extra minutes listening to your
children, or just sitting with them, watching them play. Take a moment
to stop and smell the roses before it is too late.
Have
a good day. |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
May 30, 2001
Graduation Brings With It Many Dreams And Wishes For A
Successful Life
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This
is the time of the year when students at all levels of education -
elementary, secondary and post-secondary - take part in that symbolic
celebration we call graduation. I have attended many of them over the
course of my life - some as a graduate and others as a proud parent. The
common element at every graduation is “hope”! The diploma signifies
completion of a particular stage in one’s education, but it also opens
the door to a world of hopes and dreams. Each graduate hopes to embark
on a journey of life which will lead to personal satisfaction and
fulfilment. In reality, life will be filled with many happy moments, but
it will also be filled with many unhappy, disappointing and puzzling
moments which are hard to understand. For many, life will in fact result
in the achievement of all of their dreams, but these dreams may develop
in ways that are hard to see right away.
As
my graduation gift to all students at all levels of education, and as a
reminder to all of us who have already graduated many years ago, I want
to share this story with you. It is a classic, and will help you to see
that sometimes your dreams come true without you even realizing it.
“Once
there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing
their hopes and dreams when the first tree said. “Some day I hope to
be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious
gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see
the beauty.”
Then
the second tree said, “Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take
kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world.
Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull.”
Finally
the third tree said, “I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest
tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to
my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am
reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always
remember me.”
After
a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of
woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said,
“This looks like a strong tree. I think I should be able to sell the
wood to a carpenter.” As he began cutting it down, the tree was happy
because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest
like he always wanted.
At
the second tree a woodsman said, “This looks like a strong tree. I
should be able to sell it to the shipyard.” The second tree was happy
because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When
the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because
he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of
the woodsmen said, “ I don’t need anything at all from my tree so
I’ll take this one.” And he cut it down.
When
the first tree arrived at the carpenter’s, he was made into a feed box
for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was
not at all what he had prayed for.
The
second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of
being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.
The
third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The
years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then
one day, a man and a woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they
placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first
tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but
this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this
event and knew that it had
held the greatest treasure of all time.
Years
later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree.
One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the
water, a storm arose and the tree didn’t think it was strong enough to
keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said,
“Peace” and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it
had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally,
someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets
as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a
stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the
top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was
strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as
was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
As
you go forward on your journey of life, you may find that your dreams
don’t always seem to be working out. Just remember that you have been
given great gifts and each of us will eventually get what we wanted,
just not in the way we may have imagined.
Take
your diploma and your dreams and be the best you can be at whatever life
brings you. One day, many years from now, you will have the wisdom to
realize that your journey of life took you to your dreams and helped you
to become a true gift to the people around you.
Have
a good life! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
May 23, 2001
If Nobody Cared...
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“If
nobody smiled and nobody cared and nobody helped us along. If nobody
cared just a little about you and nobody cared about me, and we stood
alone, in the battle of life, what a dreary old world this would be.”
The words above say a lot
about life. When all is said and done, life is worthwhile living because
of the friends we have made. We don’t carry on in life to be alone -
we want to live on because of the people who care and because of the
people for whom we care.
“It is doing and giving
for somebody else on which all of life’s splendor depends. The joy of
this world, when you’ve summed it all up, is found in the making of
friends.”
With this in mind, I am sure
you will enjoy the following story entitled “The Littlest
Firefighter”.
The 26-year old mother
stared down at her son who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her
heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of
determination. Like any parent she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill
all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible. Leukemia would see to
that. But she still wanted her son’s dreams to come true. She took her
son’s hand and asked, “Billy, did you ever think about what you
wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you
would do with your life?”
“Mommy, I always wanted to
be a fireman when I grew up.”
Mom smiled back and said,
“Let’s see if we can make your wish come true.”
Later that day she went to
her local fire department where she met Fireman
Dave who had a heart as big as the whole city. She explained her
son’s final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her
six-year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.
Fireman Dave said, “Look,
we can do better than that. If you’ll have your son ready at seven
o’clock Wednesday morning, we’ll make him an honorary fireman for
the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out
on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! And if you’ll give us his
sizes, we’ll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat -
not a toy one - with the emblem of the Fire Department on it, a yellow
sticker like we wear and rubber boots. They’re all manufactured right
here in town, so we can get them fast.”
Three days later Fireman
Dave picked up Billy, dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him
from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to
sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station.
He was in heaven. There were three fire calls in the city that day and
Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire
engines, the paramedic’s van and even the fire chief’s car. He was
also video taped for the local news program. Having his dream come true,
with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply
touched Billy that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought
possible.
One night all of his vital
signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the
hospice concept that no one should die along, began to call the family
members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as
a fireman, so she called the fire chief and asked if it would be
possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy
as he made his transition.
The chief replied, “We can
do better than that. We’ll be there in five minutes. Will you please
do me a favour? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights
flashing, will you please announce over the PA system that there is not
a fire? It’s just the fire department coming to see one of it’s
finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his
room?...Thanks.”
About five minutes later a
hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital, extended its ladder up to
Billy’s third floor open window and 16 firefighters climbed up the
ladder to Billy’s room. With his mother’s permission they hugged him
and held him and told him how much they loved him. With his dying
breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, “Chief, am I
really a fireman now?”
“Billy, you are,” the
chief said.
And with those words, Billy
smiled and closed his eyes one last time.
Remember the words of the
poem...”It is doing and giving for somebody else on which all of
life’s splendour depends.”
Reach out and show that you
care. You may be making somebody’s dream come true.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
May 16, 2001
Every Day Be Thankful For Who You Are And What You Have
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I’m
sure most of my readers have played the “I wish I could...” game
before. I know I find myself playing it often. I wish I made enough
money to drive a car like that. I wish I could take exotic vacations to
far off countries. I wish I could own a bigger house. I wish I could
afford to retire at a younger age.
I
wish I could buy something nicer to wear. Sometimes I get into the “I
wish...” mode and it takes a jolt to knock me back into reality. Then
I play the “I’m glad...” game. I’m glad I have my health. I’m
glad my wife and children are all healthy. I’m glad my children are
still living close to home. I’m glad I have so many friends.
Let’s
face it! Life is too short for regrets. We must all learn to do the best
we can with the cards we are dealt and to accept that things generally
happen for a reason. Moreover, we must all be thankful every day for who
we are and what we have, instead of wishing for more or wishing that we
were someone or someplace else. I found a little story which clearly
demonstrates this message. Too many of us don’t realize just how lucky
we are until it’s too late.
The
story is told by a 60 year old lady.
“I
walked into the grocery store, not particularly interested in buying
groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 37 years
was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories.
Rudy
often came with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and
look for something special.
I
knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the aisle
with the three yellow roses in his hands. Rudy knew I loved yellow
roses.
With
a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave,
but even grocery shopping was different since Rudy had passed on.
Shopping
for one took time. It required a little more thought than it had for
two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and
remembered how Rudy had loved his steak.
Suddenly
a woman came beside me. She was blond, slim and lovely in a soft green
pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large pack of T-bones, dropped
them in her basket, hesitated, and then put them back.
She
turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me
watching her and she smiled, “My husband loves T-bones, but honestly,
at these prices, I don’t know.”
I
swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. “My
husband passed away eight days ago,” I told her. Glancing at the
package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice.
“Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together.”
She
shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the
package in her basket and wheeled away.
I
turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy
products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy.
A quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream section near
the front of the store. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an
ice cream cone. I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the
aisle toward the front.
I
first saw the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards
me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest
smile I had ever seen. I could swear a soft halo encircled her blond
hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine. As she came
closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes.
“These
are for you,” she said and placed three beautiful long-stemmed yellow
roses in my arms. “When you go through the line, they will know these
are paid for.” She leaned over and placed a gently kiss on my cheek,
then smiled again.
I
wanted to tell her what she’d done...what the roses meant...but still
unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my
vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue
wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the
answer seemed so clear. I wasn’t alone. “Oh, Rudy, you haven’t
forgotten me, have you?” I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was
still with me, and she was his angel.
Next
time you have to make a decision, buy the steak! Life is precious.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
May 9, 2001
I Loved You Enough...
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Mothers’
Day is this Sunday. So I thought it would be appropriate to provide my
readers with a little story which shows the perspective on life from a
Mother’s point of view. Most of us never really understood the logic
that motivates a parent until we are a parent ourselves. Many people are
upset that the children today seem to be more disrespectful than those
of a generation ago. Children are being tugged in every which way by
media and other technological options, making it very difficult to be a
parent. It’s easy to bring a child into the world today, but it is
quite another thing to provide him/her with the type of upbringing which
will enable the child to meet the challenges which develop during the
course of his/her life.
This
message, which was obviously written by a Mother somewhere, says it all.
Enjoy it and send a copy to your Mother this Sunday.
“I
loved you enough...to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time
you would be home.
I
loved you enough...to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for
yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.
I
loved you enough...to be silent and let you discover that your new best
friend was a creep.
I
loved you enough...to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken
and tell the clerk, “I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it.”
I
loved you enough...to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned
your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I
loved you enough...to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my
eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.
I
loved you enough...to let you assume the responsibility for your actions
even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But
most of all, I loved you enough...to say NO when I knew you would hate
me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. And someday
when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates
parents, you will tell them...
Was
your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole
world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs and toast. When others had a Pepsi and Twinkie for lunch, we had to
eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing
where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison.
She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be
gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the
nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work. We had to wash
the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake
at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She
always insisted on us telling the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then
life was really tough! Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the
horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could
meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we
had to wait until we were 16.
Because
of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.
None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now
that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing
our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.”
Perhaps
that is what the world needs today - more mean Moms.
This
Sunday, treat your mean Mom to something special. And when she refuses
to allow you to sit down to the dinner table with your hat on, give her
a big hug and thank her for being so mean.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
May 2, 2001
Sometimes All We Need Is A Hug
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Have
you ever tried to do something good for someone that turned into a big
mess? Often our good intentions take a turn for the worse and everything
we do goes wrong. We get into a state of panic and anxiety, totally
confused and frustrated with no idea of how to get out of the
predicament. Have you ever wondered how you got through those
situations? The following story will give you an idea of what happened.
One
Saturday morning six-year-old Brandon decided to fix his parents
pancakes for breakfast. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to
the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour
container, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into
the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some
sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks
left by his kitten. Brandon was covered with flour and getting
frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad,
but it was getting very bad. He didn’t know what to do next. Should he
put it all into the oven or on the stove?
But he didn’t know how the stove worked. Suddenly he saw his
kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away,
knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically, he tried to clean up
this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white
and sticky. And just then, he saw Dad standing at the door. Big
crocodile tears swelled up in Brandon’s eyes. All he wanted to do was
something good, but he’s made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding
was coming - maybe even a
spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the
mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his
own pajamas white and sticky in the process.
Isn’t
that just like life? Think of the times you have tried to do something
good, but it turned into a mess. You try to plan something special in
your marriage and it turns sour. We insult a good friend. We can’t
stand our job. Our health takes a turn for the worse.
As
adults we often feel like just standing there in tears because we
can’t think of anything else to do or say. Just like Brandon, we
expect a scolding or something worse.
And
then, just like Brandon’s father, someone comes along to make us feel
better. Whether it is a verbal hug or a physical hug, that someone
special picks us up, loves us and forgives us. Usually, it is the very
someone we have hurt or insulted who is there for us.
Next
time someone you care about is standing there with crocodile tears, or
is floundering helplessly, not knowing where to turn, reach out and pick
him or her up. Scolding or punishing will not do any good. What a person
needs is someone who understands and is willing to pick him up and get
him started over again.
Don’t
be discouraged when things don’t go according to plan. Remember that
it is the intent that counts. Whenever your intention is to do something
good, the results can never be bad. Above all, when you have a chance to
show a loved one that you care and understand, don’t underestimate the
power of a hug.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
April 25, 2001
Hiring People To Work For You Is No Easy Task
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This
summer my sons and I have embarked on a web site development project
which has required us to hire additional staff. I had no idea how
difficult it would be to sift through the many resumes which were
submitted and then conduct interviews in order to give all interested
parties a fair chance at presenting themselves. The main problem is that
it is extremely hard to make any kind of informed judgement on a person’s
true potential based on a short interview and a resume. I have also come
to realize just how important first impressions are when it comes to
applying for a job. You only get one chance to make a good first
impression, and when the selection process is as hit-and-miss as an
interview and a resume, you have to make that chance a good one.
To help better understand just how difficult this process is, I want
to share a little story with you. This is a letter which was sent by a
company in Jerusalem which is known as Jordan Management Consultants. A
client of theirs was looking for some people to fill managerial
positions in his new organization, so he submitted the resumes of twelve
applicants to the consultants for their recommendations. The following
is the text of the report from Jordan Management Consultants.
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have
picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them
have now taken our battery of tests, and we have not only run the
results through our computers, but also arranged personal interviews for
each of them with our psychologist and vocation aptitude consultant.
It is the opinion of the staff that most of your nominees are lacking
in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of
enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We
would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience
in managerial ability and proven capacity.
Imagine how the client of Jordan Management Consultants must have
felt. He had selected twelve people who he felt could fill the
managerial roles, yet the professionals consultants had determined, by
using all of the means available to them, that none of the applicants
were suitable. It makes you wonder how a person like myself could
possibly use unscientific methods to select my own staff for the summer
project we have in mind.
Jordan Management Consultants provided their client with a summary of
their findings:
Simon Peter is emotional, unstable and given to fits of temper.
Andrew has absolutely no quality of leadership.
The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal
interests above Company loyalty.
Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to
undermine morale.
We believe it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been
blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.
James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus, definitely have radical
leanings.
Additionally, the both registered high scores on the manic depressive
scale.
However, one of the candidates shows great potential. He’s a man of
ability and resourcefulness. He is a great networker, has a keen
business mind, and has strong contacts in influential circles. He’s
highly motivated, very ambitious and adept with financial matters. We
recommend Judas as your Controller and Chief Operating Officer.
All the other profiles are self-explanatory. We wish you the utmost
success in your new venture.
As you can see, if Jesus had chosen the twelve apostles based on
modern methods of leadership selection, most would have never had a
chance to participate. The lesson here is that we should choose people
for what they can become through us, not for what they already are or
for what they have already done. Reading the story didn’t provide me
with any help in my own selection process, but it did help me understand
that no matter who I choose, it would be up to me to help them achieve
their true potential. It would be up to me to help them achieve the
goals I had set for them. The selection is only the beginning. I know
that I must choose a person for what he or she can become, but then I
must pave the road for that person to develop the potential within.
So next time you find yourself involved in hiring or selecting people
to be on a team or a project, remember that you must look for potential,
not history. You must take an active role in developing that potential,
and not expect to sit back and relax. Just be thankful that Jesus didn’t
actually rely on Jordan Management Consultants when he was filling his
managerial positions. Go instead with your gut instincts and accept your
responsibilities.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
April 18, 2001
This Is Good!
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This
week I have a story which will be appropriate for any of my readers who
have ever asked the question, “Why me? What did I do to deserve
this?”
Sound
familiar?
Unless
you have been living under a rock somewhere in the deep forest, you will
have found yourself uttering those very words many times in the past. We
are all subject to bad luck or bad fortune from time to time. Often we
shake our head in despair, feeling down and dejected, wondering if we
will ever recover. Eventually, things work out and we get back on our
feet, usually in a much better situation than we were in prior to our
misfortune.
Next
time you think that you have problems, remember that sometimes those
problems can actually save our life.
The
story is about a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew
up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever
occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is
good!”
One
day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend
would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently
done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the
gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining
the situation, the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!”
To
which the king replied, “No, this is not good!” and proceeded to
send his friend to jail.
About
a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known
to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village.
The tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to
the stake. As they came near to set the fire to the wood, they noticed
that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate
anyone who was less than whole. So, untying the king, they sent him on
his way.
As
he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb
and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to
the jail to speak with his friend.
“You
were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.”
And
he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened.
“And
so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for
me to do this,” explained the king.
“No,”
his friend replied. “This is good!”
“What
do you mean? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a
year? asked the bewildered king.
“If
I had not been in jail, I would have been with you,” replied the
friend.
So
you see, even in our darkest hour, there is always hope that things will
get better and that our challenges will actually result in a positive
change in our life. Next time you are feeling as if your life will never
recover from a setback, think about the king’s friend and try to say,
“This is good!”
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
April 11, 2001
People Will Always Remember How You Made Them Feel
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As
I searched for a special story with a true Easter message this week, I
came across a little excerpt that I am sure you will agree fits right in
with the season. Too many of us go through life, day-after-day,
seemingly on an endless treadmill going nowhere. Seldom do we consider
our job or our position in life a ministry. Yet as people come and go
during our journey of life, we encounter individuals who, were it not
for some strange twist of fate, would have missed an opportunity to
enrich our life and theirs.
This story is told
by a cab driver about a woman he picked up one August night.
I
was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of
town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some party-goers, or someone
who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early
shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.
When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a
single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many
drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.
But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as
their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of
danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be
someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I
walked to the door and knocked.
"Just
a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something
being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A
small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress
and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s
movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as
if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with
sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on
the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and
glassware.
"Would
you carry my bag out to the car?" she said.
I
took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She
took my
arm, and we walked slowly
toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness
"It's
nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the
way I would want my mother treated."
"Oh,
you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave
me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through
downtown?"
"It's
not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh,
I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a
hospice." I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were
glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued.
"The doctor says I don't have very long."
I
quietly reached over and shut off the metre.
"What route
would you like me to take?" I asked. For the next two hours, we
drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once
worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighbourhood where
she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull
up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where
she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front
of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the
darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the
horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now." We
drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building,
like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a
portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They
were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been
expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the
door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. "How much do I
owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing,"
I said.
"You
have to make a living," she answered.
"There
are other passengers," I responded.
Almost
without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held on to me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.
"Thank you."
I
squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a
door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up
any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For
the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten
an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I
had refused to take the run, or had
honked once, then driven away?
On
a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important
in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around
great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware…beautifully
wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
That night the cab
driver learned a very important lesson about life. People may not
remember exactly what you or
what you said...but they will always remember how you made them feel. As
you take a few moments to reflect upon your own life this Easter
weekend, remember that thought. No matter how young or old, how ordinary
or how famous the people you meet, they will always remember how you
made them feel.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
April 4, 2001
I Believe In Tomorrow
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I
love spring time (except for the mud puddles and the messy yards). The
weather seems to awaken a fresh spirit inside everyone as they emerge
from another long winter and prepare for the wonderful experiences that
summer has to offer. Just the other day, Patrica Encil, the typesetter
at the Vision Paper, gave me a copy of an article that she has carried
with her for many, many years. She told me that she is inspired by the
passage every time she looks at it, and after I read it I had to agree.
It has a spring-like quality that really hits you, especially at this
time of year.
Let
me share it with you, and see if you somehow feel a little lighter on
your feet as you walk about the rest of the day.
It
is entitled, “I Believe In Tomorrow”.
I
believe in Tomorrow!
I believe in it because it has not yet come.
I believe that Tomorrow will be better than today.
I believe that I will do Tomorrow what I failed to do today.
I believe that I will be Tomorrow what I have not yet been.
I
trust the future and feel that my life is glorious because of that.
I feel that I can attempt the impossible, scale the mountain that is
supposed to be inaccessible and dare the thing that sceptics will fear.
Tomorrow I will do the impossible - the things that no one else could
do.
I
believe in Tomorrow because it is unspoiled.
I have not, nor has anyone, yet written on it with the grimy finger of
folly or selfishness or sin.
No wars have been fought in Tomorrow.
No lie has been told, or dishonest deed done, in Tomorrow.
No man has treacherously failed a friend in Tomorrow.
Tomorrow
is one clean, beautiful day, the day on which dreams come true; on which
the impossible things will yet be done; on which I shall have the nerve
and the will to be and to do that which was too much for me in the grim
battle of today.
I
believe in Tomorrow!
Tomorrow
is indeed a wonderful place. As you look around at the melting snow and
listen to the birds returning from the south, think about how much you
are looking forward to Tomorrow. Think about all the beautiful things
that are about to spring to life around the garden.
Put
aside all of the negative thoughts of today. Sure, things may not be
that good today, but if you believe in Tomorrow; if you believe that
Tomorrow will be a better day; then Today’s problems will not seem as
quite as bad.
Let
the renewal of nature inspire you to do the things you have always
wanted to do. Think of your dreams that have been put on hold for all
the wrong reasons. Ask yourself, why not Tomorrow? And plan on making
Tomorrow come!
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
March 28, 2001
A Thousand Marbles
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It
comes as no surprise to any of my readers that I am the kind of person
who enjoys stories which are inspiring and heart-warming, especially
when those stories provide me with a real thought-provoking lesson about
life. What I am about to share with you is one of those stories that I
think I will always cherish. In fact, I think it is one that I will cut
out and put somewhere out in to open so that I read it every day.
One
Saturday morning Jim was listening to the radio when he heard an older
sounding chap with a golden voice. He was talking about a thousand
marbles to someone named Tom.
“Well
Tom”, the older gentleman began, “It sure sounds like you’re busy
with your job. I’m sure they pay you well, but it’s a shame you have
to be away from home and your family so much. It’s hard to believe
anybody should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends
meet. Let me tell you something, Tom. Something that has helped me keep
a good perspective on my own priorities. You see, I sat down one day and
did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about 75 years. I
know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live
about 75 years. Now, then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with
3900 which is the number of Saturdays the average person has in their
entire lifetime. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think
about all this in any detail, and by that time I had lived through over
2800 Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be 75, I only had
about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and
bought every single marble they had. I ended up with 1000 marbles. I
took them home and put them inside a large clear plastic container next
to the radio. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and
thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused
more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like
watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your
priorities straight. Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign
off and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the
very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next
Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing
we can all use is a little more time. It was nice talking to you, Tom. I
hope you spend more time with your loved ones and I hope to meet you
again someday. Have a good morning.”
You
could hear a pin drop when he finished. Even the show’s moderator
didn’t have anything to say for a few moments. The old man gave
everyone a lot to think about.
Jim
had planned to do some work that morning, then go to the gym. Instead,
he went upstairs and woke up his wife with a kiss.
“Come
on, honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast,” Jim said.
“What
brought this on?” she asked with a smile.
“Oh,
nothing special. It’s just been a long time since we spent a Saturday
together with the kids,” explained Jim. “Hey, can we stop at a toy
store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”
I’m
not sure what I can say to comment on this story. The message is quite
clear. When you look at life as a container of marbles you think you
have a lot of them to spare, but when that container starts to go down,
it sure puts things in perspective.
Take
a few moments to think about the marbles you have left in your
container. As you throw one away every Saturday, ask yourself if you are
using your marbles wisely.
Have
a good week.
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
March 21, 2001
The People Who Make A Difference In Your Life Are The Ones
Who Care
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During
the course of our life we will encounter thousands of people. Some will
become close to us and others will be around only momentarily. We will
also read about and watch many other famous people in the world. Some of
those people will have a profound impact on our life even though we
don’t actually meet them.
I
want you to take the little test that follows to show you something that
I discovered when I took the test recently.
1.
Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Best Actor and Best Actress Oscar winners.
3. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
4. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
5. Name the Stanley Cup winners for the last decade.
How
did you do? The point is that none of us remembers the headliners of
yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in
their fields, but the applause dies and awards tarnish. In fact, their
achievements are forgotten.
Now
here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one.
1.
List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name the people you want to be with during the last hour of your
life.
Was
it any easier this time?
When
I took this test, I learned that the people who make a difference in my
life are not the ones with the most money, or the most awards, or the
ones with the most credentials. The people who make a difference in my
life are the ones who care about me and who were there for me when I
needed them. I remember the special teachers who made a difference in my
life. I remember the people who taught me worthwhile things. I certainly
remember the people who made me feel appreciated and special.
Question
#6 of the second quiz was the one that really made me realize the people
who have made a difference in my life. When I imagine myself during the
final hour of my life, there are many people I would like to be able to
transport to my bed side so that I can thank them for making my life so
special.
Sure,
I will continue to be impressed by the movie stars, the sports heroes,
the billionaires and the rest of the celebrities, but when it all comes
down to the end, the ones I will be most impressed with are the people
who made a real difference in my life. The people who need no
introduction, and who will never fade away from my memory.
So
as we go through our individual journey of life, let us all pay more
attention to those unsung heroes who will never share the world
spotlight, but who light up our own life with a brightness that will
shine forever. The teacher who believed in you when all others said you
would never succeed. The coach who took that extra time to show you how
to hold a bat. That special friend you can always count on to cheer you
up when you are down. The stranger who was the only one who stopped to
help you when your car broke down during rush hour. These are the real
heroes in your life.
Enjoy
the world celebrities, but remember that not even all of their money or
fame could ever place them on your own list of people who have made a
difference in your life. Make sure you tell those people how much you
care and how much you value what they have done for you.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
March 14, 2001
Life Is A Do-It-Yourself Project
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Over
the past 28 years, if I have told my students once, I have told them a
thousand times...“The choices you make today will have a profound
impact on the choices you will be able to make tomorrow. So make wise
choices today.” There are many pieces of advice that adults give to
children and other adults, but to me, this is one of the most important.
Yet it is one that so many of us forget until we suffer the pain and
consequences of our actions at some point in the future.
Recently,
I came across a wonderful article which drives this message home very
effectively. The story is entitled “The Carpenter.”
“An
elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor
of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more
leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss
the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor
was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one
more house as a personal favour. The carpenter said yes, but in time it
was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to
shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate
way to end a dedicated career. When the carpenter finished his work the
employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the
carpenter.
“This
is your house,” he said. “My gift to you.”
The
carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was
building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.”
A
great story! A great lesson!
We
all build our life one day at a time. Often we make poor decisions or do
things that we regret and then realize that we have to suffer the
consequences of those decisions. We know that if we had it to do all
over again we would, but we can’t turn back the clock. We are forced
to live with our decisions - good or bad. Each and every one of us is a
carpenter, building our own house. The sooner we realize that it is our
house and that we will have to live in it for the rest of our life, the
sooner we will start weighing the consequences of our
“construction”. We will then put our best efforts into the building
so that we will be able to enjoy the comforts and security of these good
decisions and choices. Each day of your life you are hammering nails,
placing boards or erecting walls in your personal “house”. Make sure
that when you are handed the keys to the front door you have no regrets.
Remember,
life is a do-it-yourself project. Your attitudes and the choices you
make today build the “house” you live in tomorrow. Build wisely!
Have
a good week!. |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
March 7, 2001
If You Spend Time Mourning Your Losses You Will Miss Out
On The Special Things You Have
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Have
you ever experienced disappointment in your life? Have you ever planned
on enjoying something good only to have your plans go up in smoke? I
suppose it’s only human nature to complain about how rough life is.
After all, we never have enough money, or time, or opportunity to do
everything we want. And so many of us recall times when we had to
suddenly cancel a trip or dinner engagement because of some unforeseen
happening.
I
want to share a story with you today that is about real pain and real
disappointment. It is also a story which shows us that if we spend our
life mourning our losses, or wishing we were somewhere else, we will
miss out on so many of the special things that exist in our own life.
The
story is entitled, “Welcome To Holland”. It is written by Emily Perl
Kingsley. Emily has a child with Down Syndrome and is often asked to
describe the experience of raising a child with a disability. It is
difficult for those of us who have not had a mentally or physically
challenged child to understand how it would feel. When we start a family
we all have great hopes and expectations about how we want our children
to turn out. We look forward to running and jumping and playing with
them and sharing in their successes in life. We never plan on having a
child that is handicapped. You never hear an expectant mother say that
she wants a baby that has health problems. But what happens when
something goes wrong? What does it feel like to see that the baby you
carried for nine months is born with a severe disability? As a father of
three very healthy boys who have grown up to be very healthy young men,
I couldn’t imagine how it would have felt like if one of them had been
handicapped. That is until I read, “Welcome To Holland”. Emily
describes the experience this way...
When
you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation
trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful
plans. The Coliseum; the Michelangelo David; the gondolas in Venice. You
may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After
months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The
stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?”
you say. “What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to
Italy.”
But
there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland
and there you must stay.
The
important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s
just a different place.
So
you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never
have met.
It’s
just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy and less flashy
than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your
breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that Holland has
windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But
everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they’re
all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the
rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed
to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And
the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss
of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But...if
you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy,
you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely
things...about Holland.
Now
I understand. But this message is not just about people who have
children with a disability. It is for anyone who has experienced real
pain in life. It is for anyone who has lost a loved one; experienced a
divorce; been in an accident; is suffering from a life-threatening
disease; had to move away from home; or any number of other major
life-altering events. It is about making new plans and reading new guide
books. It is about letting everyone else talk about their trip to Italy
and taking time to enjoy the windmills and tulips of Holland. For no
matter how much pain you feel, or how bad your situation may seem to you
at times, there are always beautiful, special windmills and tulips in
your world. All you have to do is stop mourning and accept that this is
the way it will be.
Welcome
to Holland.
Have
a good week!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
February 28, 2001
We Can All Learn A Lot About Life From The Sponge
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It
has often been said that a person’s life is the sum total of his/her
experiences. On the surface that seems like a simple enough statement, but
if one accepts this premise, then why do so many of us engage in practices
and activities which are negative and actually hurt us.
Consider
the family of five who decided one day to each clean a different area of
the home. They each took a sponge, did the cleaning, and then placed the
sponges back on the kitchen counter top. The sponges all looked the
same.
A
visitor came along who was curious as to what was cleaned in the home, but
couldn’t tell by looking since the sponges all looked the same. So, in
order to satisfy his curiosity, he decided to squeeze each sponge to see
what came out.
When
the first sponge was squeezed, some cola came out, so the visitor decided
that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one.
Upon
squeezing the second sponge, he found tub and tile cleaner and concluded
that this sponge was used to clean the bathtub.
The
third sponge produced motor oil when squeezed, so obviously, someone was
cleaning the garage.
In
the fourth sponge, baby powder came puffing out when it was squeezed,
which meant that the baby’s nursery was done with that one.
And
finally, in the last one was floor wax, which was used on the hall floor.
As
the visitor lay the last sponge down, he again remarked at their
similarity. They all look the same until they’re squeezed.
People
are the same way.
As
life squeezes us, different things come out. Some people get angry; some
seek revenge; some shed tears; some laugh; some look upon life as
wonderful; others have a negative view of everything; some show their love
for one another; others think only of themselves.
We
must all remember that we are no different from a sponge. We can only
squeeze out what is put in. If we look for the good in others and try to
carry a positive attitude around with us wherever we go, then as life
squeezes us we will have a better chance of coping. If we are constantly
finding fault with others and forever look for excuses for our behaviour,
when life squeezes us we may not like what comes out.
This
is a lesson to which all young parents should pay particular attention.
The experiences your children have while they are growing up will
determine how they respond to challenges as adults. Children are like
sponges, taking in everything you provide. If you instill positive family
values in a child from the time he/she is born, then those values will
form part of the child’s personality later on in life. If you show your
child how to love, he/she has a better chance of being a loving person. If
you demonstrate that you respect all forms of life, so too will your
children. However, if you are disrespectful of authority; show that you
don’t care about the quality of your work; and disregard the rights of
others, don’t expect your children to be any different.
When you line people up side by side, they all look similar. Just
as it is with the sponges on the kitchen counter, you don’t know where
they’ve been until you squeeze them. Once squeezed, the secret is out,
and you can rest assured that on the journey of life we will all be
squeezed many times. All we can do is make sure that what we put into our
life is what we want to come out when the proper time calls for it.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
February 21, 2001
I Can Do It!
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I
was reading an article the other day about a man by the name of Steven
Callahan. In 1982, he was crossing the Atlantic alone in his sailboat when
it struck something and sank. He was out of the shipping lanes and
floating in a life raft, alone. He had few supplies and his chances of
survival were small. Yet when three fishermen found him seventy-six (76)
days later (the longest anyone has survived a shipwreck on a life raft
alone), he was alive — much skinnier than he was when he started, but
alive.
His account of how he survived is fascinating.
Somehow he managed to catch fish and even rigged up a device which
evaporated the sea water to make fresh water.
The thing that was most remarkable, however, was
how he managed to keep himself going when all hope seemed lost. Imagine
how often he must have thought that there was no point in continuing with
the struggle. He was suffering a great deal. His life raft was punctured
and even after trying for more than a week to fix it, it was still leaking
air and wearing him out pumping it up. He was starved, desperately
dehydrated and totally exhausted. Giving up would have seemed to only
option.
Whenever you read about people who survive these
kinds of circumstances, you discover that they do something with their
minds that gives them the courage to keep going. Nevertheless, there are
many people in similarly desperate situations that give in or go mad. The
survivors do something with their thoughts that helps them find the
courage to carry on in spite of overwhelming odds.
For Callahan, he wrote simply, “I told myself I
could handle it. Compared to what others have been through, I was
fortunate. I told myself these things over and over.”
I read another story about a man who was locked
in solitary confinement as a prisoner of war for three years. The small,
damp room was barely large enough to take a couple of steps in any
direction. For three years, the man spent every waking hour imagining that
he was playing golf on some of his favourite courses. He would envision
taking each shot, and follow the ball to where it landed, then walk up to
the ball and take the next shot. He did this over and over again for three
years. Each shot was perfect and went exactly where he wanted it to go.
Every swing was flawless. He never shot over par. He looked forward to
waking up every day so that he could play some more golf. He eventually
survived the terrible ordeal and when he returned home at the end of the
war, he immediately made arrangements to go for a round of golf at his
favourite course. The man went out that day and shot par. Every ball he
hit went straight and he played the course just as he had for three years.
He survived prison because he was able to do something with his thoughts
that allowed him to handle a situation in which many others would have
given up.
Write down the following sentence: “I can
handle it.”
Next time it seems as if your own goals are far
off or when your problems seem too overwhelming, repeat that sentence over
and over again. “I can handle it. I can handle it.”
You will soon realize that your own circumstances
are only bad when compared to something better. When you understand that
others have been through much worse, you will acknowledge that you are
actually lucky, no matter how bad it may seem.
Whatever you’re going through, tell yourself
you can handle it. Compared to what others have been through, you’re
fortunate. Tell this to yourself over and over and it will help you muster
up enough courage to get through the rough spots.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
February 14, 2001
"I Don't Understand Life" A Lot Of Questions
With No Answers
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One
of the girls in my Grade 7 class, Stephanie Bennett, wrote an essay
recently which touched my heart. As adults we often think that children
are arrogant and cocky, acting like they have all of the answers. In fact,
they are usually the complete opposite. They are the ones with all of the
questions. And the questions they ask are no different from the ones that
adults struggle with every day.
Stephanie’s essay
is entitled, “Losing Someone...” I think you will enjoy it and I know
it will make you realize that no one has answers to the really important
questions of the day.
“I
believe losing someone to death is the hardest thing a person can endure.
People think death is scary, which is possibly true. I think dying in a
hospital is the worst. My Grandpa died in a hospital and watching dad cry
was the hardest.
I
was seven but devastated. I remember when I used to take candy from his
candy dish. When he caught me he’d say something like, “Don’t you
like the black candy babies?” I would say “yes” even though I
don’t, just to make him happy.
I
don’t understand life. When we die, do we go to Heaven or Hell? How can
the Lord judge someone by good or bad? Some people live a meaningless life
where they are abused each day and slavery rules. Why would God want
people to suffer? Did I lead a previous life? Who is my Guardian Angel?
Are the apocalypse predictions true?
My
Dad and Grandpa were going to go on a ski trip to Alaska, but Grandpa had
a stroke and couldn’t go. I plan, when I’m older, to take my Dad
before it’s too late for him too. Life is a precious thing from God, and
we should live life to the fullest.”
I
don’t have any answers for you Stephanie. Oh, I’m sure many people
could give you their explanations, but when all is said and done the final
conclusion will still come down to the fact that no one really understands
life.
Why do bad things
happen to good people? Why do some people suffer so much and other people
go through life with no problems or worries? Who decides? Is life all
planned out when we are born? Do we really have any control over our own
destiny?
Life is a mystery.
So it stands to reason that death would be even more of a mystery. You are
not alone, Stephanie. But I must say that you are years ahead of yourself
in terms of wisdom. You understand that life is precious and that we
should all live life to the fullest. You also understand that if you want
to do something with a loved one, the earlier the better. You never know
when you will get a second chance. Enjoy your skiing trip with your Dad. I
know he will love every minute of it.
For the rest of us,
let’s remember that it doesn’t hurt to ask questions. Without
questions we would never have an opportunity to think about answers, and
we would never have an opportunity to realize that life is just one big
mystery with no solution.
Take Stephanie’s
advice. Go on that skiing trip with your parents. Plan that vacation with
your children. Spend a weekend away in a cabin alone with your wife. Send
your wife a bouquet of flowers for no reason. Don’t wait until it’s
too late - you never know when you’ll get that second chance.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
February 7, 2001
"Just A Dog"
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My wife and I have always had a pet dog. When
we moved to Val Therese in 1974, one of the things that impressed us most
was the fact that our new house already had a dog house for Major, our
German Shepherd. He lived with us for 13 years and died a peaceful death
in our basement. Shortly thereafter we bought Colonel, an Alaskan Malamute
puppy, who lived with us for another 13 years. Major and Colonel helped
raise our three sons. But we were a very busy family and there was often
very little time to pay attention to our pets. We took them for walks and
talked to them when we passed by, but they were outside dogs and spent
most of their time chained to the dog house, lying in the driveway,
waiting for the next opportunity to wag their tail when one of their
humans came out.
A year and a half ago, we picked up
Sarge, a
husky/shepherd mix - the first dog we ever had without ‘papers’. Sarge
spent the first night in our home sleeping ‘on the bed’ with our
oldest son. As he grew, and grew to the point where he is now over 100
pounds, Sarge still sleeps on the bed - usually whichever bed he feels
like - and is allowed to do all those things we never allowed Major and
Colonel to do. Sarge is never tied (and usually stays in the yard). Sarge
is usually in the house and has learned to steal socks, papers, and a host
of other items when he wants attention. Sarge has captured our hearts.
I’m not quite sure why our ‘dog-rearing’
methods have changed with Sarge. Perhaps it is that we are getting older
and want to shower Sarge with all of the love that we wish we would have
given Major and Colonel. Whatever the reason, I am now convinced, after
having read “How Could You?”, written by Jim Willis, that Sarge will
never wonder about our love for him. Let me share part of the article
written by Mr. Willis, but let me warn all people who own dogs that it may
not be an easy article to get through.
“When I was a puppy, I entertained you with
my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and, despite a
number of chewed shoes and couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your
best friend. Whenever I was “bad”, you’d shake your finger at me and
ask “How could you?” - but then you’d relent, and roll me over for a
belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because
you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those
nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret
dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went
for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice-cream (I
only got the cone because ice cream is bad for dogs, you said) and I took
long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at
work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I
waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and
disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with
glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife,
is not a “dog-person”. Still, I welcomed her into our home, tried to
show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared
your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and
I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt
them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog
crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a “prisoner of
love”. As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my
fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes,
investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything
about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent -
and I would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into
their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we
waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you
if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and
told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered
“yes” and changed the subject. I had gone from being “your dog” to
“just a dog” and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in
another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does
not allow pets. You’ve made the right decision for your “family”,
but there was a time when I was your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we
arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of
hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said “I know you will
find a good home for her.” They shrugged and gave you a pained look.
They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with
“papers”. You had to pry your son’s fingers loose from my collar as
he screamed, “No, Daddy! Please don’t let them take my dog!” And I
worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship
and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all
life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and
politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline
to meet and now I have one, too.
At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I
rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind -
that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone
who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete
with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own
fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at
the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate
room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my
ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what
was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love
had run out of days. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a
tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to
comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle
into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my
body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured, “How
could you?” Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said
“I’m so sorry.” She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her
job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn’t be ignored
or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and
light so very different from this earthly place.
And with my last bit of energy, I tried to
convey to her with a thump of my tail that my “How could you?” was not
directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will
think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue
to show you so much loyalty. The end.”
I have to go now. Sarge just nudged his wet
nose against my arm, reminding me that I have spent enough time ignoring
him. It is time for a walk.
Have a good week.!
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
January 31, 2001
Enduring Life's Challenges Will Give You The Strength To
Reach Your Treasure
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One
day, a long time ago, a young man went to visit the oldest and wisest man
in the village for some advice on how he could become rich and famous. The
wise elder listened to the young man tell of his dreams and of his
ambition to achieve success beyond that which anyone had ever imagined.
“Fame
and fortune is yours to be had at the top of yonder mountain,” advised
the wise man, as he pointed to a tall mountain in the distance. “You
must travel on foot to the top of the mountain. There you will find riches
beyond your belief. When you arrive there you will have but one chance to
claim the treasure for yourself. Once you leave the top of the mountain,
whatever remains will be lost forever.”
The
young man was very excited and could hardly wait until the morning when he
was to meet with the wise old man for final instructions.
In
the morning when he arrived at the wise old man’s home, the young man
saw a long, thick log lying on the ground in front of the house.
“What
is that for?” asked the puzzled young man.
“You
must carry this log on your journey to the top of the mountain,”
explained the wise old man.
“But
why?” the young man questioned. “What use is this log? It weighs so
much and will slow me down on my journey. I want to claim my fortune
quickly.”
The
wise old man merely looked at the young man, and then down at the heavy
log, and quietly said, “The log is a necessary part of the journey. You
must take it with you to the top of the mountain to claim your
treasure.”
The
young man was not pleased with this sudden surprise, but he respected the
wise old man and as he lifted the long, heavy log onto his shoulders and
struggled down the road towards the mountain he realized that the trip
would not be as easy as he thought.
After
he was walking for a while, a woodsman came up to him and said, “It
looks like that log is pretty heavy. Would you like me to cut some of if
off to make it lighter?”
The
young man was exhausted and with so much of the journey yet to be
travelled, was afraid that he would never make it up the mountain with the
heavy burden, so he said, “I suppose that a little bit cut off the end
wouldn’t hurt. Thanks for your help”. And the woodsman cut two inches
off the end.
A
while later the young man met a farmer on his way back from the fields.
“It looks like that log is pretty heavy. Would you like me to cut some
of it off to make it lighter?”
The
young man still couldn’t understand what the log had to do with him
climbing the mountain to claim his treasure, so he allowed the farmer to
cut two inches off the end and thanked the farmer very much.
At
the bottom of the mountain, the young man met up with a trapper who was
building a cabin. “It looks like that log is pretty heavy. Would you
like me to cut some of it off to make it lighter for your journey?”
By
this time the young man was completely worn down by the weight of the log.
There were times when he felt that he would not be able to stand the
weight, and would have to quit the journey.
The offer of the trapper was too much to resist and he allowed four
more inches to be cut off the log.
The
young man continued to struggle up the mountain and finally he arrived at
the top. There at the very peak of the mountain was the most beautiful
treasure he had ever seen. This was his dream. All that stood between him
and his treasure was a wide opening in the earth which surrounded the
mountain peak. The crevice was very deep and there was only one way to get
across the opening. Now it became clear to the young man why the wise old
man had given him this log to carry on his journey.
The
excited young man lay the log across the gap and discovered to his dismay
that it was eight inches too short to span the distance. The eight inches
that he had allowed to be cut off to lighten his load on his journey to
his treasure. As he turned despondently to walk down the mountain side, he
looked back with tearful eyes and saw his treasure slowly disappear.
The
young man learned a lesson that for many of us comes too late in life. Our
dreams and our treasures are within our reach, but in order to get them we
must first of all experience the struggles it takes to get there. Only
then will we have what it takes to finally reach out and claim our
treasure at the end of the journey. If we lighten the load too much along
the way, our treasure may end up just out of reach.
Next
time you find yourself struggling with life’s challenges, remember that
it will be all worth it when you finally reach the top of the mountain to
claim your reward.
Have a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
January 24, 2001
Saying Good-Bye
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Isn’t
it odd how some of the most important lessons in life come right under
your nose and you don’t even notice the message until much later?
My readers often
comment on how much they enjoy the little stories I include in this
editorial. The stories are mostly classics that you will read many times
during the course of your life, and each time you read the same story it
will have a different meaning, totally dependent upon the particular
circumstances in your life at the time you read it. My biggest fear is
that I will run out of stories to share with you, but what I am finding is
that this is hardly likely to happen. For example, the other day I was
marking essays that my students had handed in and I came across the
following:
Dear
Mr. Kirwan,
I
was wondering, you know how you have that article in the Vision. Well I
was wondering if maybe you would put this in one of your articles and if
you decide to, feel free to change it as much as you like. If you do this
one thing for me I will appreciate it with all my heart!
Saying
Good-Bye A True Story
Do
you have one of those friends that is like a brother to you? Well, I have
and here is a story about my friend. I hope you will feel the emotional
feeling that I felt.
One
day my mom was rushing to the hospital because she was having a baby. When
I was born two weeks early lying in the crib in the nursery, I had no idea
that the people that lived beside my mom and dad had a son lying there
right beside me. I was named after my uncle. As I went home I never seen
the kid that layed beside me in hospital until I was two years old. Our
birthday was one day apart from each other's. When I was five coming home
from school and got off the bus, I seen the most terrible, frightening
scene. Right on the front lawn a big white sign. On the front of it said
‘Sold’ and on the front lawn, Eric, my best friend was sitting there
with the saddest face ever. I had a long talk with him and he said, “My
dad got a job in British Columbia so that’s why we’re moving.”
I
also had a long talk with my mom and she said he would be able to visit
every year. We are still best friends and I call him every day (after 6 of
course) to talk and see how he is doing. I miss him very much, but we are
still very good friends!
There
is so much you could say about this letter.
The
child’s mother should be commended for understanding how important it is
that her son and Eric maintain their relationship, even though it is
long-distance. She recognized the tremendous emotional impact the event
had on her son and is willing to do whatever she can to help him cope with
the separation of these two very close friends.
It
is also a reminder to us that children have feelings too! So often we make
major decisions that result in tremendous upheavals in the life of our
children. We always say that children will cope and get over it, but
sometimes the healing takes a long time - sometimes it takes forever. Who
would have thought that two five year old boys would miss each other so
much? Still, these two boys felt the bond between each other and are
willing to do whatever it takes to keep it strong.
For
me, the story shows that no matter how long I continue to write this
column, there will always be inspirational stories and messages that will
turn up for me to share with my readers.
Have
a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
January, 17, 2001
If Tomorrow Never Comes
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We
live in a time when our life can change suddenly and without warning. This
is the lottery generation when a simple piece of paper can make you rich
and launch you into a completely different social status. This is the
stock market generation when a jump in stock value followed by quick sale
can make you a millionaire or put you in the poor house overnight. This is
also the generation where people live in fear of catastrophe every time
they drive a car, walk down a street at night, go to work or merely go to
sleep at night in the privacy of their own home. Change often comes
suddenly and without warning.
Too often I have
spoken to people who were distraught at the loss of a loved one and who
were beating themselves up for not spending more time with them in the
final days before their death. They spend agonizing days, weeks and
sometimes years in what I call the “If I knew it would be the last
time...” depression.
Many years ago I
decided that I would adopt the “What if this is the last time...”
philosophy of life. I have discovered that it leaves me at peace with the
world more often and provides me with a healthy perspective on life. It is
difficult at times to maintain this philosophy, and every so often I find
myself regretting some action or comment that I have made. At those times
I say to myself, “What if this is the last time I ever see that person?
Is that how I want to be remembered, or how I want to remember him/her?”
I invite my readers
to consider adopting this philosophy, even for a short trial period. See
if it changes the way you look at life.
When you tuck your
child in tonight, ask yourself what you would do if you knew this might be
the last time you ever saw your child fall asleep. Would you give him/her
an extra hug? Would you take a few minutes to lie beside your child? Would
you be in such a hurry to get back to the television set?
When you leave for
work in the morning, if you knew this might be the last time you ever said
good-bye, would you get up a few minutes earlier so that you would have
time to say good-bye to everyone and wish them all the best for the day?
Would you say, “I love you” one extra time to your spouse? Would you
get upset because your favourite shirt wasn’t ironed? Would you smile
and wave as you were pulling out of the driveway?
When you have an
argument or disagreement with a friend, a co-worker, or a loved one, if
you knew this might be the last time you would see that person, would you
make an extra effort to solve the problem before you left? Would you
apologize for your actions or comments before you left? Would you roll
over and go to sleep knowing that you have upset your spouse?
You must always
remember that tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Today may be the last
day of your life or the last day in the life of a loved one. You may never
get a second chance to say, “I love you”; to spend time with your
children; to spend time with your spouse; or to spend time with your
parents.
So if you are
waiting until tomorrow to do something special for a loved one, why not do
it today? If you want to say you are sorry for something you did, why not
do it today? If you have been trying to find time to make that phone call
or write that letter, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes,
you will surely regret that you didn’t take the extra time to grant to
someone, what may have turned out to be their last wish.
Have
a good week! |
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REFLECTIONS by Robert Kirwan
January 10, 2001
It Was Meant To Be!
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Have
you ever had too much time on your hands and drifted into that “I wonder
what would have happened if..” dream land? You know the place I mean.
Where you get to thinking, I wonder what would have happened if I took
that job in Toronto? I wonder what would have happened if I had enough
money to buy that new house on the lake? I wonder what would have happened
if I had waited until I was older to get married?
If
you live and breathe and have an ounce of honesty in your body, you will
admit that you too have drifted into the
“I wonder what would have happened...” state from time to time.
During the Christmas holidays I had the opportunity
to watch one of my favourite classics of all time, ‘It’s A Wonderful
Life’, starring Jimmy Stewart. I also saw three other movies: Family Man
(Nicolas Cage), Frequency (David Quaid), and Destiny (James Belushi). Each
of these movies centres around the main character being taken back in time
where he is given an opportunity to make a ‘different choice’ which
results in his entire life being altered. He then goes through the
nightmare of living for a while in the new life until he realizes that his
real life wasn’t as bad as he thought.
I
don’t know exactly why movies like this appeal so much to me, but I do
know that I feel immensely satisfied and uplifted each time I watch one.
Perhaps it is because it makes me realize that, in spite of all the
troubles I think I have in my life, there is so, so
much to be thankful for that I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
And yet, it is quite frightening to think back to some of those
life-changing choices that I have made in the past and realize that if I
had made a different choice, nothing in my life would be the same and all
of the people I hold dear to my heart would vanish.
When
I was in Teachers’ College in 1973, I had a chance to take a job in
Toronto, but I made one final attempt at convincing the Sudbury Board to
give me a contract. Why did I write that one final letter? What made me
sit down and draft a letter that I thought would just be thrown in the
garbage? Where would I be today if I had started my career in Toronto?
Back
on a Sunday afternoon in January 1974, my wife dragged me away from the
Super Bowl game to look at a house in Val Therese. I grew up in Lively and
had never set foot in Val Caron or Hanmer, let alone given any thought to
living there. Twenty-seven years later, here we are, still in the same
house that I missed a Super Bowl game for - the house where we raised a
family and where we fully intend to continue to build memories until the
end of our time on earth. What if I would have watched the game instead of
gone to look at the house? What if we would have bought a house in Lively
or Sudbury instead of Valley East?
Whenever
I think about such things it sends a shiver up and down my body. I look
back on all of the wonderful memories and the fabulous people I have met
over the years, and it leaves me with a hollow feeling when I consider
that my life may very well have missed those memories and people. I think
of all the people I have touched along the way and I realize that their
lives may also have been changed in some significant way if I had not
entered into their life. It is a bit frightening to know that my life and the lives of
so many others may have been so different if I hadn’t taken 30 minutes
out of my day to write a letter to the School Board in 1973; or if I had
felt too comfortable sitting in front of the television drinking beer and
watching the super bowl game to
drive all the way to Val Therese to look at a house?
Then
my mind begins to wander to other times in my life when choices were made
without much thought. What would my life have been like if I had not
hitch-hiked to Creighton that cold winter night in 1968 to watch the
hockey game at the Creighton club. The night when one of my friends
introduced me to a girl by the name of Valerie Starcevic who, four short
years later would walk down the aisle with me to take my name as hers, and
eventually drag me away from a Super Bowl game to look at a house in Val
Therese? What if that car hadn’t stopped that cold winter night to pick
me up at precisely the moment when I was about to give up on any chance of
getting a ride to Creighton? What if the car had gone on by and I had
turned back to go home to watch the hockey game?
Life
is a series of choices. Every choice you make may well change the
direction your life will take. And yet, when we make those choices, we
seldom take into consideration the long-term impact that they may have.
Why we make the choices we do may not always be clear at the time. They
may never be clear, and I am sure you must also shake your head at some of
your choices and wonder how in the name of God you made some of the
decisions you did make.
One
thing I am becoming more sure of as I get older, is that life generally
unfolds for one reason.. “it was meant to be!”
I
have learned that there is no use trying to rationalize or make sense out
of what life brings you. It is best to make all of your decisions based on
the conditions of the day and on what you feel in your heart is right, and
then go forward with the inner confidence that you will always be able to
handle the challenges that come forth. Always be certain that every
decision, as long as you feel it is the right one for you, will bring you
happiness that would not have occurred if you had decided differently. And
above all, remember that you can never go back and undecide! You can only
go forward.
So
as we enter a new millennium in the history of the world, let us go forth
to enjoy everything that life offers us with the knowledge that “it was
meant to be”! And if you need to be convinced that your life is
wonderful, just take the time to watch one of the movies.
Have
a good week!
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