I am sure that all of us have, at one time or another, had the unforgettable experience of regretting something we said or did out of haste. Moments when we have reacted out of anger or retaliation only to discover that we have made a big mistake. One of the best pieces of advice that a person can heed is to weigh all things very carefully before striking out with anger or criticism. Let me share with you a story I came across in an old book that illustrates this point.

A trapper and his wife lived in the Alaskan wilderness. They had a child, but the wife died when the child was only two years old. The trapper had to go out in the woods in order to do his trapping, so he sometimes left the child for a few hours in the care of their faithful dog. One afternoon, while the trapper was out, a terrible blizzard came up. The storm was so terrible that the trapper had to take refuge in a hollow tree to save his own life. At daybreak he rushed back to his cabin. The door was open. His dog, who looked at him from the corner of his eyes was covered with blood. The father’s blood froze in his veins. All he could think of was that his dog had turned wild and had killed his child. The trapper reached for an ax and in an instant buried the blade into the skull of his trusted animal. Like a maniac, he scanned the scene. In hopeless desperation, he uncovered the gruesome remnants of his cabin. Tipped over, the cracked furniture was telling a story of a battle that had taken place there shortly before he returned. He suddenly heard a faint cry coming from under the bed. Again, his heart seemed paralysed. There he found his young child, safe and sound. He clutched the child to his chest, pausing to cuddle the youngster in his arms and was about to check to see where the blood on his dog came from, when in a remote corner of the room he spotted a dead wolf, his huge mouth showing fangs which were intended for the baby which his faithful dog had saved.  He now realized that, but for a moment of caution, he could have been holding both his child and his hero dog in his arms. Instead, remorse took over him when he realized his mistake.

Most of us haven’t experienced anything quite so drastic as the example in the story, but once as a young teacher I found myself speaking rather harshly to a 10 year old about forgetting his math book at home. Of course I had to exercise my authority and make an example of the child so that the rest of the students would learn to never show up without their homework done in the future. While the little boy sat there, head down and tears splashing on his desk, a little girl sitting in the desk next to him whispered to me that the little boy’s mother had been rushed by ambulance to the hospital in the middle of the night and that he had spent the night at his grandmother’s.  His mother was still at the hospital and he didn’t know what was wrong with her. I can’t begin to describe how I felt at that moment, but I can tell you that it changed the way I treated students from that moment on.

Had the trapper taken a few moments to determine the situation and find out what had happened to his child, the faithful dog would have been recognized as a hero and it would have been one of the most memorable events of the man’s life. Instead, it turned into one of the most horrible. Had I taken the time to ask the young student why he forgot his book, I would certainly have understood why math books were the last things on his mind with his mother in the hospital.

We all fly off the handle now and then, but life would be so much more enjoyable if we would take time to fully understand all situations and circumstances before acting in a manner which we may wish we could forget. Next time you are upset or want to lash out in criticism, take a couple of deep breaths and get a clear picture before you take action.